Friday, December 28, 2007

who demands firetrucks?

Grady woke up with vinegar coursing through his veins today. Every minute detail of the world set him of into a tumultuous tantrum. I couldn't even get a sip of my java before more tantrums erupted. After an hour of carrying on and whining he decided his sleep attire was not satisfactory. He wanted fire trucks and he wanted them now! We traipsed upstairs to search for the fire truck sweater he wore last year for a Christmas party. All the while I am chanting in the inner sanctums of my brain, "Please still fit...please still fit!" I found the sweater buried in the back of a drawer. With a simple tug and pull the sweater was on and the screaming subsided. "FIRETRUCK PANTS!!!" shrilled the 2 1/2 year old demon seed. Fire truck pants?! Do you own fire truck pants? Then my overly amazing brain remembered that Grady had fire truck pajamas that may do the trick. Thankfully they did. We completed the ensemble with a very small pair of fire truck socks. Ok, they really have cement mixers on them but he was none the wiser. And with this great wardrobe a smile slowly crept across his face and my world was good…at least for the next ten minutes!

Thursday, December 27, 2007

the day has finally come

Saturday marked the day that Grady figured out how to climb out of his crib. I figured this day was quickly approaching as his climbing and transversing of furniture and cupboards was increasing in skill and height. I also blame this new found skill on my friend Betsy that was visiting Friday night and said, "I can't believe he doesn't climb out of his crib!", while we were putting Grady down for the night. Curse her!! He heard and decided to take action. So Saturday after I put him to bed and I nestled down on the couch under my favorite blanket, I heard the pitter-patter of marshmallow feet down the stairs. I was then quickly greeted with "Hi Momma!" WHAT? HOW?! So back upstairs we went for a second attempt at bedtime. He climbed out again and then got a quite stern talking to. He stayed in the rest of the night but I was gently prodded awake with his chubby little fingers at the brink of dawn. Sigh…. well I guess that means I don’t have to get out of my warm bed to fetch him anymore! I was able to convince him to snuggle in bed for a bit and prolong the agony of the harsh early morning a wee bit longer. Since then we have decided to allow him to climb in and out of his crib. I am just not ready for the freedom that a “big boy” bed entails. We did establish some guidelines to eliminate any middle of the night excursions. Grady knows he cannot climb out at night and so far he has been too tired to try. With all this new-found freedom he did give me a belated present today, one that I have been asking for for a very long time; both boys slept until 8am. I awoke feeling very refreshed and renewed, ready to take on the day. Or at least until the warriors became restless and started fighting over matchbox cars. Then the evil queen returned to do her bidding once more!

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

pull up a chair and get ready for the ride

It has been, as I am sure for most, a very chaotic past week. I was going to blog Saturday morning about the woes of my previous week but the death of our stove quickly obliterated that free time. Looking back, there were subtle cues that the appliance’s health was fading; it was taking longer to cook pizzas (our staple dinner), it took forever to warm up and anytime we used the stove, it inevitably set of the smoke alarm. It also did not cook the brownies I brought to my company Christmas party last Friday and when I cut into the middle, the uncooked dough oozed from the sides. Thankfully there were plenty of pomegranate martinis going around and no one noticed. Our stove was only seven years old and I think it died a premature death, maybe even foul play. Growing up we had the same stove. My parents got a new stove after 30 years because they needed to upgrade the kitchen before they put it on the market. Why did ours have to die? And WHY did it have to die right before Christmas?? After a bit of research and some online shopping my husband found the stove he wanted. After a break down at the kitchen table Saturday morning over the fact that I need to physically “see” the stove before we bought it, we were off to the store. Of course, none of the stoves were available for pick-up, except those in the $1500+ range and even then, who could pick up those behemoth things? The earliest we could get our new stove was December28th, a week from that day. BUT, if we paid an up charge we could get our new family member the next day. Interesting and yet very, very shady. It would then cost us an additional charge to pick up the dead stove and of course, there is a delivery fee for the new one. Obviously this salesman, Jim, was out to screw us everyway he could. Nothing like sharing the holiday spirit! I was at the point of “whatever”, paid the extra fees and demanded a Starbucks coffee to sooth my pains. On a good note, our new edition is fitting in nicely and was in full force yesterday for Christmas dinner. Let’s just hope we don’t have to go down this road again anytime soon.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

oh to be a buckeye fan

I just got my new poster in. Isn't it divine?? Nineteen days till the big game. I just hope they show up this year. Otherwise I will be in a sorry state at work the next day.

On a completely other note.... I can't help but comment on Britney's little sister Jaime. As if the whole Spear's train wreck is not enough, now her sister has jumped on board. I think their Mom needs a good dose of reality and some parenting classes. Can you believe she said " But Jaime is so conscientious. I am shocked she is pregnant". And this woman is writing a book about parenting two daughters?? HELLO!? I am the first to admit that I am not the world's best parent, but, I think my kiddos are at least on the track to sanity and a somewhat normal life. I just hope they stop to pick me up when I fall off!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

who has the time

Someone felt this was appropriate to bring for our cookie exchange at work. They obviously had too much time on their hands. I mean really!? Who could pull this off? Ok, maybe some of you could but I don't have the time, and more importantly, the patience. I think I would end up chucking these once I had to try and strategically place the ears on. The boys thought they were cute and Grady spit it out once he placed it in his mouth. So much for all the time she put into it! That is why I stick to cookies!

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

wednesday chuckle

I got this today and thought I would share. I think if someone did this to me I may loose my purpose in life and would not be able to go on existing. Ok, not really, but sometimes a little drama perks up the soul.

Last night my sister and I were sitting in the den and I said to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle to keep me alive. That would be no quality of life at all, If that ever happens, just pull the plug."

So she got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out my wine.

She's such a bitch

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

snow day

There were rumors whispered yesterday at work that there was a very good chance that we would have a snow day. A huge ice storm was making its way towards the Chicagoland area bringing with it sleet, rain, ice and snow. It is a great time of year for a snow day as I have a lot to get done and it would be great to have a day without the boys. I threw up a little prayer to the snow gods before bed and drifted off to sleep.

I awoke to no phone call...bummer. So I quickly showered and got ready for work. As I was brewing my coffee the phone call came, no school! Yeah!! A day all to myself! But just as the thought crept into my head I got a sinking feeling that maybe schools in Wisconsin would be closed as well. I turned on the news and sure enough, both of the boys’ schools were closed. Drat! Both boys were thrilled by the thought of staying home in their jammies all day and quickly broke out in the "No School Dance". Drake even busted out "The Worm" for this momentous occasion. Then came the requests for food.

Drake thought this incident deserved French toast. Cheers erupted when I agreed. “Chocolate milk too?” Sure, why not? We stuffed ourselves on breakfast and then slumped on the couch for a bit of morning funnies. But quickly there after I became the evil queen, as I demanded the boys clean their toy room. I did offer to help but even that was met with many grumbles. We quickly conquered the task and I can put a check mark on my “To Do List”. It has been a fun morning, even with the bickering, but I am quickly counting down to nap time when I can escape from the house for some sanity!

Monday, December 10, 2007

there is nothing like....

...kicking ass and taking names. Guess that is a bit conceited but we have not dominated a game like that in a long time. My friend Krista had a double hat trick (if that is even possible) and we won 9-1. What disgruntles me is the other team's lack of fair play once they fell behind. As I have stated before I don't like to play with whiners and even worse is a whiner that plays dirty. Obviously the girl on the opposite team playing defense was a bit confused as to what sport she was playing when she body checked me into the plexy glass to prevent me from completing my play. I have quite the bruise on my hip to prove it. When she resorted to sucker punching me in the side all bets were off. Yes, I partook in an act that was unbecoming of a lady. I used a few choice words, noted her obvious lack of skill and shoved her off of me. I am not proud and she should be thanking the loving gods above I did not knock her lights out. She then had the nerve to yell at the ref for calling a direct kick when her goalie slide tackled our player out of the box. Hello?!? Again she should be thankful we, as a team, did not revolt on her. But enough venting.... I apologize for my emotional spewing in my blog. I feel much better now :)

Sunday, December 09, 2007

oh christmas tree

We finally got around to putting up our tree. I had been majorly procrastinating due to a certain 2 1/2 tear old and his love for that which is not his. We decided, as you can probably see in the photo, to not decorate the bottom of the tree. We also put it up during Grady's nap to optimize our decorating time. It worked well with the exception of Drake's visual spatial difficulties and my OCD tendencies. He likes to clump his ornaments together while I have a neurotic compulsion to rearrange after everyone else puts the ornaments where I don't want them. I tried to keep myself in check, as Drake is now old enough to realize I am moving every ornament he or his father puts on the tree. After a plethora of Christmases John has finally realized it is not even worth his effort to try since I will ultimately rearrange, even when he is not looking. I still struggle when I look at the tree and it is not the way I want it but then I remind myself that this holiday is not about me, Humph! Grady woke up from his nap and squealed with delight when he saw the tree. He then proceeded to kiss all the ornaments that were in reach; I obviously miscalculated how tall he was. When he saw Drake's Bob the Builder ornament he had a coronary, as he could not believe that "Bob" was on HIS tree. Guess it is the little things that delight wee ones. On a side not, I have yet to put up the stockings after last years almost brain trauma when Grady pulled on the stocking and was almost nailed in the head with the heavy cooper holder. Hey, I still have two more weeks!!

Saturday, December 08, 2007

rock em, sock em boys

I know I can honestly say that these boys do not lack in imagination. Somehow their two brains combined decided it would be a great idea to place the demolished boxes from the "jump-a-thon" on their heads and run at each other at full speed. When I heard the first rather large crashing sound I came a running! This is what I found at the crime scene: Both boys were flat on their backs with their arms and legs flailing with peals of laughter emanating from inside the boxes. They reminded me of tortoises stuck on their backs, kind of sad looking yet somewhat amusing to just stand there and watch. Thinking they had had their fill I walked back into the kitchen to tackle the mail and ultimately dinner. As soon as I stepped into the kitchen I could here the pattering of running feet and another large crash.
Guess once was not enough! I threw out the proverbial warning that it was all fun and games until someone got hurt, and as you can imagine, it was met with def ears. Ironically they continued this game for quite some time till they decided it would be even MORE fun to chase each other around the house with the boxes on their heads. With the forecast of bloodshed in the future, I quickly ended the box chasing. The boxes then took the form of monster trucks that they would slide across the floor and bash into each other. Sigh….. what has happened to all the nice and quiet activities of days past? Good thing my trusty friend merlot was on hand to lend a shoulder to lean on!!

As a side note: You can't see it but Drake has on his favorite holiday shirt "Jingle Bells... All girls smell" Sniff, sniff. He makes me so proud.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007!!

I have been trying to refrain but I can't hold out any longer. YEAH!!!! Sorry for all those who are not fans or whose teams were less then thrilling this year (like a certain husband of mine) but I am quite excited. The BCS announced Sunday evening that Ohio State will play LSU for the championship game. I am breathless with anticipation. Ok, that may be a bit overkill, but I am a bit amped and have had three cups of coffee already this morning! I am hoping they show up for the game and they at least make it exciting. Guess I get to bust out my buckeye necklace one last time this season... Go Bucks!! I will now step down from my crazed fan soap box.

Monday, December 03, 2007

at this moment...

Baby Vader is trying to take over the Tierney empire aboard his deathship firetruck. Grady has taken to being called "Baby Vader" and tries to scare us any chance he gets. It is funny to watch as he pushes himself along on the firetruck. "I Baby Vader! I get you Momma! Rooaarr!!" Yes, I am sure you did not know that Baby Vader could growl like a dinosaur. Baby Vader has many talents, none of which are for the greater good (as of yet). Especially since I just had to pry a plastic Fisher Price golf club out of Baby Vader's hand since he was walloping his older brother with it. But I do enjoy the creativity of it all, at least when he is not inflicting the dark side on all those within reach!!

Sunday, December 02, 2007

jumpin' jellybeans!!

Well, I have been considering Grocer’s, from Famous For All Kinds of Wickedness, idea of providing something safer for Grady to jump from instead of his cozy coupe. After a quick jaunt to the local Target for some much needed diapers and wipes, Grady decided to make and build his own fun. He carefully aligned the boxes to make a runway of sorts. He then proceeded to jump up and across them like a bunny with the finally of a large jump back to the floor. This lasted for almost an hour, with the older brother quickly joining in on the fun. It always amazes me the creativity of young children and what they will turn into a toy. But all good things soon come to an end. After

discovering the fun of jumping from the boxes, Grady got another grand idea…. stack all the boxes on top of one another, climb them and then jump! He obviously does not have my fear of heights! I had to step in when he tried to go head first down the tower (what was he thinking!?) Sadly, I know what he was thinking; he was trying to do a summersault. After a brief discussion about the importance of safety and the ramifications that brain damage could inflict on the rest of his life, he opted back to jumping from box to box. I suppose I should be happy that at least for that moment of time he was entertained and not screaming or badgering me. But I know that that is right around the corner!

Saturday, December 01, 2007

a snowy adventure

The first snow! And what better way to enjoy it then by suiting up and taking a joy ride in your Jeep Wrangler? Of course, the only way to do this is in the highest of fashions. Remember, it is all in the outerwear! This being said, Grady refused to go outside without his ski cap and goggles. He had a great time riding through the fresh snow and skidding down the driveway. We took advantage of Grady being occupied to hang up the wreath and decorated the bushes with lights.
He lasted much longer then I did as the bitter wind was biting and cut to the core, but he continued unphased. Soon his cheeks were two little Macintosh apples and I had to drag him in with the bribe of hot chocolate with mini marshmallows. I am looking forward to the prospect of being snowed in. They are forecasting 7+ inches but they are rarely right. If only I could do my job that poorly…. But that is another post my friends!

Thursday, November 29, 2007

mental health

Since the hubby decided to take a new job, he was forced to burn his vacation days. He convinced me I needed a mental health day so off to Chicago we went. I love going to Chicago during the Christmas season to walk around, see all the lights and of course, the window displays. I am not a big one for shopping down there but some of the stores are fun to browse through. In full Chicago style the temperature was 25 degrees with 10 - 15 mile an hour winds. Quite nippy to say the least!! It made the warm cup of coffee even more delightful. Despite the cold, which I actually enjoyed, we had a really nice time. We met up with his uncle, who works downtown, for lunch at a quaint corner chop house. We also discovered, or stumbled across, the first and only Kohler store in the world. I am so wanting a new bathroom or kitchen sink now!! We saw the Field's windows on State Street, the super-sized Christmas tree and walked up and down Michigan Avenue. Because it was a weekday we also got shafted for parking. Can you believe they charge $24 to park for two hours?? Geez, I am definitely in the wrong occupation. But we made it in and out of the city with little trouble and little traffic so I guess that makes it a great day!

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

one happy seven year old

The day is finally here! We have been waiting and waiting for two years now. Drake has gotten more and more impatient with each person who has lost one. But yesterday, in a burst of excitement, he barrelled in the house to show me. Yes, Drake finally has a loose tooth. I, as well as his dentist, were becoming a little concerned at the fact that Drake was not loosing any teeth. He did have two teeth pulled back in April because his adult teeth grew in behind his baby teeth making him look like a shark. This did not cut it in Drake's mind though as loosing a tooth. He wanted a wiggley tooth just like ALL the other kids in his class. I thought he would be one to loose his teeth early since he started sprouting teeth at four months of age and had all his teeth by the time he was one (yes, nursing was lovely during that time!!) But weeks and weeks and then months and months and now years have rolled by without even the slightest of wiggles.... until yesterday. Needless to say it is now his obsession. His hands were in his mouth all night long, a great thing since he is a boy and his hands are nasty and it is cold season!! But I have to cut him some slack since he was beside himself with joy when he got off the bus. I will keep you apprised of the situation and I am sure I will post some pics when the "official" day finally arrives. Keep your fingers crossed that it happens soon!!

Monday, November 26, 2007

who needs furniture?

Why sit on the comfy couch snuggled in a blanket when you can sit on top of your cozy coupe? I have been pondering this thought the past few days as Grady has taken to watching television from the top of his car. This can't be comfortable, at least it does not look comfortable. And don't even get me started on all the possible injuries that could be inflicted should he accidentally slide or make a singular wrong move in any given direction. I have begun to slowly tick off the days till we are frantically rushing to the ER for stitches, or even worse.... a cast. (shudder) Of course, the more I ask him to please get down from the car the more he wants to perch up there. I guess this is a battle I will have to choose not to fight, at least for now. Maybe he will soon realize the comforts that await him if he chooses one of the couches..... or not!

Sunday, November 25, 2007

don't hate me for my shoes

YEAH!! My birthday present from the boys has finally arrived. I have been impatiently waiting since they gave me a picture of them, wrapped in a box, for my birthday. For some reason only known to the evil Gods of the intenet, they were unable to ship them in a adequate amount of time. My guess is the the elves in the factory were striking for higher wages and medical benefits. But now they are here, now they are mine and I love, love, love them!!! I have a weird admiration for fun and funky shoes and these definitely fall into that category. I mean, what is not to love?? Red gingham mary janes stating the obvious .... all that and even some cherries on top! Yes this lassie is definitely pleased with her sons' innate ability to shop for shoes. Ok, maybe they did have a little help from me but I will still give them all the credit.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

a boy of my own heart

Last night I realized, yet again, how much Drake is a mini version of me. There are days that this thought warms my heart and other days that it breaks it into pieces. We were watching the movie “Born Wild” about a boy who befriends a gorilla and becomes intent on setting her free in the wild. It was a great feel-good movie with a very tearful ending. After the movie was over Drake looked up at me and said, “Bet you can tell I really liked that movie by my eyes can’t you Mom?” Tears streamed down his cheeks as he looked up at me with his clear blue eyes. “Yes sweetheart…. I can tell.” He has inherited this trait from me. I cry during movies, EVERY episode of Grey’s Anatomy and even those sappy Hallmark commercials (they do me in every time). I cried when the boys started school, when Drake could not figure out how to ride a bike and when he got his first pair of glasses. I am as sensitive and romantic as they come, and now, so is he. I toy with whether this is a good thing or bad thing for him in this day in age. He is the most empathetic and sensitive person I have ever met. He can sense what others are feeling and is always trying to befriend and include the outcasts and loners on the playground. He has warmed the heart of every teacher he has had. Every year I hear how they will always remember him as “one of their favorites”. I know you are probably thinking… well this is every parents dream! What is wrong with you?? But the reality is, he is a boy. In middle school and high school I fear these traits will not serve him well. I fear he will be bullied, teased and put down. I fear those clear blue eyes will cloud over, his soft and caring heart will harden. Kids these days are mean, meaner then they were when I was in school. Or maybe, now that I am a parent I am more aware. I see how some of the boys in the neighborhood scoff at him because he isn’t as “athletic” as they are. He runs like Phoebe, from Friends, in Central Park, happy and carefree, like there is nothing better in the world at that moment. So far he has not noticed their looks, but I do. It takes everything in me to not shake those looks off their smug little faces. I also fear the day when he first falls in love because that also means his first heartbreak will soon follow. I know he will fall so hard and with such passion it will hurt. I know because he is me. I also know some day he will make a great husband, the best a girl could ask for. But the road to find that love will be long and hard, full of pain and heartbreak, for Drake as well as myself.

Friday, November 23, 2007

more seven year old ramblings

Drake: Mom! I just ate six servings of the seven layered Jello!
Me: Hmmm, how about some of that turkey?
D: Ok. (takes a few bites then sighs) Mom, my tummy hurts. Can I be full now?
M: Do you mean can you be done now?
D: No I mean can I be full now. I don't think I could eat another bite
M: So when dessert come out you won't have any room?
D: No. that is why I need to stop I have room for dessert later.
M: (chuckling) Sure you can be full now.

I cannot deny that he is from my loins...I too always save room for dessert.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

bet you can't say you have done this

A little background to help you further understand the following dialog between my father and myself. My father is the director of development for the Washoe tribe in Nevada. He is one of the few "white men" to work for them and has worked hard to be accepted by the people of the tribe. After a brief discussion, including all the pleasantries and such, we had the following conversation:

Kat: So Dad, how is work going?
Dad: Really well and I have been really busy. Want to know what I did yesterday?
K: Sure
D: Well I went to one of the ranches to check how many of the cows were pregnant.
K: You what?!?
D: I got to check if the cows were pregnant.
K: Really?? And how might I ask did you do that? Or don't I want to know....
D: The doctor and I did it together. I led the cows into the stable and put their heads in a contraption that would hold them still and the doctor did the rest

Side note - I did delve further into the whole process since my curiosity was peaked, but I will not share all the details of testing a cows fertility with you in this forum. Very interesting and definitely not a job on my top ten list.

D: Then I watched as he and one of the cowboys castrated a colt who was too frisky.
K: Too frisky huh? I think I have a lot of boys in my house that are too frisky. I wonder…..
D: (laughing) Now, now. You don’t mean that.

Guess my job just could not match up to that on most given days and on this day of Thanksgiving I am quite happy with that!

Wednesday, November 21, 2007


A single tear slipped down her cheek, catching a glint of the mid-afternoon sun. Once again she had let her hopes come in the way of life’s harsh realities…. once again she was forgotten. She silently cursed at herself for thinking that this time it would be different. This time was no different then any of the others, though not as bad as some. She had once heard it stated that if you have no hope, no expectations, you could not be disappointed. She had tried living her life that way and was typically pretty successful. Keeping her distance prevented the pain that is often inflicted with contact, emotional and physical. Some had tried, with a bit of accomplishment, to break down those barriers around her. But even they had left her disappointed in the past. She sought solace in her mind’s eye, dreaming of what could, what should have been. Then again, why should today be any different?

Monday, November 19, 2007

yes, i survived

Well, I have survived my weekend of hostessing and entertaining. And quite frankly, I am exhausted. Preparing a meal for ten guests took less work then I thought but trying to plan for various appetites did cause me moments of anxiety. The most difficult part of the weekend was trying to keep the house in some sort of order as the two year old was buzzing around in his typical tornado-like state, leaving a trail of debris in his wake. Thankfully our guests enjoyed his energy and he enjoyed our guests. We had quite the array…. a couple from Britain, a gentleman from Canada and another that has lived in various places such as Afghanistan and Sweden but is currently residing in California. Everyone seemed to enjoy the food, especially my “better then sex cake” and fellowship. I am looking forward to my short workweek and of course Thanksgiving!! Thanksgiving is even better because I am not responsible for cooking in any way shape or form. We are in charge of bringing the beer this year…glorious! I think I can handle that task (what Irish girl couldn’t??) Maybe a full belly and weekend of rest will spark my writing juices or maybe I will delve into my old journals and such to find writings of the past. But for now I am on the hunt for java….

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

if looks could kill

If looks could kill I would be a widow today. I would have the bed to myself every night and would do a lot less laundry. I would stumble over a lot less shoes and dirty socks. But unfortunately my looks do not kill and my husband still lives. This same husband called at 4:30 on his way home to inform me one of his co-workers was going to spend the night. Could I make the house presentable? WHAT?!? Are you crazy?? Thankfully (and luckily) I scoured the house Sunday in preparation for our out of town guests coming Friday. Unluckily, Grady was in full gear and taking out eight toys to every two I put away. I quickly remade the bed with fresh sheets and fluffed all the pillows. He quickly jumped on the bed and threw off all the pillows and the comforter. What happened next was not pretty. My head began to spin and fangs sprouted in my mouth. By the look on his face it was quite a grotesque sight and he quickly scampered, with a little help on the behind, downstairs. I could hear him telling Drake, “Momma scaaarry Dake…. and mad!” At least I got my point across though it did not last very long.

The idea of an overnight visitor would not be so bad if it were not Tuesday night. Tuesday night is boys club and family night at church. We leave the house just before 6 and do not arrive home till almost 9:30. This does not leave much time for cleaning between homework, dinner and corralling the natives. And as I had said, Grady was in a very rambunctious mood.

His pre-school class had started practicing for their annual Christmas program and he was very content in sharing all his new songs. BUT no one else in the house could sing or even offer the correct words to the songs. So away he sang random words to no particular song, at the top of his lungs. This did not bode well with the seven year old who had homework and reading to do. “MOM!! Please make him stop!!!” This just fueled the musical fires of the little one till everyone’s ears were pierced with his challenged singing voice. Husband, who was on a conference call, offered no help except to make faces that the boy child was too loud. Again…if looks could kill.

After running around like a lunatic, frantically cleaning, the guest never arrived. They ended up working at the office until 5:30 am. (Husband went back to the office at 9:00 to finish up and never came home). So all my anxiety and death stares were for not. Guess I will have to save them up for another day…. just hopefully not too soon!

Monday, November 12, 2007

where have i gone wrong?

The scene: I am watching "Transformers" with both boys. (I know, not the most family friendly movie, but they love it) John is working at the kitchen table.

Drake starts screaming, "Look Mommy!! It is just like Daddy's veggie Camaro!!"
Me: His what??
D: His veggie Camaro Mom!
M: What is a veggie Camaro?
D: Like that song you and Daddy listen too.
John (laughing): You mean bitchin' Camaro??
Me: Don't say that!!!
D: Yeah Dad, it's your bitchin Camaro....Bumblebee!!
Me: Nice honey...nice

All the while Grady is screamin "CHEEEW, CHEEEW.... CHEEW!!!!" (imaginary shooting sounds) "Look Momma!! I shoot bad guys like Uptamis! I get all the bag guys...chew, chew chew!!"

Sniff, sniff....yes it is such a proud happy Mom moment.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

this is amazing

My father in law sent this to me and I have to admit I have watched it half a dozen times. I love magic, or at least true magic and optical illusions, and not the stupid crap David Blaine tries to pull. So when I first watched this I was instantly enthralled. Sad, I know, but I had spent all day scrubbing little finger prints off of doors and moldings and scrubbing all my crown molding and trim. After seven years the dirt and grime finally drove me to insanity.....everything had to get cleaned!! Others in the house were not into my "let's scour the house" idea but dutifully complied after some words of encouragement and harsh glares. But I digress. This was meant to be about the video clip not my woes of cleaning. Guess I will have to blog about that later.

Friday, November 09, 2007

belated holiday pictures

Ok, here are some of the pictures from my trip to the Dominican Republic. I feel a bit weird posting them, don't know why, but decided to do it anyway. Plus I have a splitting head ache and don't feel like "officially" blogging. Some may call it being lazy, but for right now it works.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

the letter

Dear Mrs. B,

Good morning! Just a little FYI to let you know that Grady is wearing his father’s socks. He put them on this morning and simply refused to take them off. I am sorry if this causes any conflicts in the classroom today. I did pack a pair of his socks in his backpack if you can convince him out of the ones he has on. I tried with no avail. Good luck! Hope you have a great day!

Mother of the demonic two year old that you care for all day

Yes, I did have to send this letter to school with my son today. I am sure his teacher’s are having quite the laugh at my expense. Just looking at him as he trotted off into class made me roll my eyes. He looked like he was suffering from elephantitis of the ankles. But he was dressed and out of the house (and not screaming his bloody little head off). Stick another bad mommy start on my chart. But sometimes (ok, many times) in the mornings I just don't care. This would be one of those days. Grady was insisting on wearing his father's socks as a pair of thigh highs.
He was quite content with his ensemble and was just as content to wear it to school. I insisted he wore pants, he screamed. I begged him to put on his socks, he screamed some more. I tried to pull off the socks...he held on with both hands for dear life. FINE!! I decided to bargain, he could wear the socks as long as he put pants on over them. The deal was done, a compromise made. Luckily his shoes fit with the oversized socks on, though as stated previously looked quite silly. I am curious to see how his day at school unfolds and what socks he will be wearing when he comes home. I can’t imagine with his fat marshmallow feet that there is much room in his shoes for a grown mans sweat sock. Guess he will have to suffer the natural consequences of his actions. Yeah I know….. who am I kidding!

Monday, November 05, 2007

previous love interest

She is rather beautiful. Her curves are alluring. You can feel her shudder with your touch. And when she purrs it will send shivers down your spine. She is my husband’s first true love, his first car. He did have a thing for the girl at Bible camp (she kissed him behind a tree when he was 10), but that was short lived and just a summer fling, Yes, ironically my husband’s first car was a bitchin’ Camaro. It looked, so he tells me, exactly like the one pictured above. He sent me this picture with a plea, “Can I have her?” Someone is selling this car, similar to his first, but completely redone and in mint condition. His previous girlfriend also comes with a high price tag (don’t they all?). I tried being fair. I am not the jealous type, but to hear him go on and on and on about her…..well it gets quite draining. He swears she won't effect our relationship, that it is just superficial, not like the love we have. I point out that it is not family friendly. “Yeah??” I then point out that the boys will not fit in the back. “Yeah, that is the point.” Hmmm, so I am always stuck driving them around. I see how this will work. I ask if I can purchase something for me for the same price range. He laughs, a little too loud and a little too long. His fate is then sealed.... no ex-love will inhabit our garage and I will not share my man. His pout does not work the magic he wants it too. Sadly, his quest for revisiting his youth is shot down by the current love interest and there is not a guilty bone in my body!

Sunday, November 04, 2007

very crabby....beware

I am reeling from the effects of daylight savings time. Some little monkey thought it was a grand idea to wake up at 4:15am. Now, without daylight savings it would have been 5:15, still an ugly time to get up on a lazy Sunday. But when the word "MOMMY!" began to be bellowed at 4:15, I was instantly a very crabby girl. I guess I should also be honest and say that part of the pain of that early wake up call was also my fault. I had been to a surprise birthday party last night and was thoroughly enjoying the kegs of Spotted Cow. I guess I can also blame the yahoo that brought the beer bong from his college days for amping up the "level" of the party. Many of my neighbors have hidden bong talents that I was never aware of...maybe that was a good thing. No worries though, I am not a bong type of girl! But I did justify staying out later then normal with the prospect of gaining an hour of sleep. I obviously did not share that memo with my two year old. But the early wake up was greeted with the smells of freshly brewed coffee in my new coffee maker, an early birthday present to me. While that took the initial edge off of my needed attitude adjustment, I am still looking forward to a nice afternoon nap. Especially since I have a late soccer game tonight...don't even get me started about that!

Thursday, November 01, 2007

aaaarrr, me matey!

Talk about priorities! I downloaded the pictures of the kids in their costumes but have yet to download our trip pictures. Oh well, the kids are cuter anyway! This was the first year the boys actually wore their costumes more then once. We had two parties this weekend plus trick-or-treating last night.
The boys had fun hanging out with their cousins, bobbing for apples and decorating pumpkins at their party on Sunday. I was impressed that both boys actually bobbed for apples and were successful. Grady thought it was hilarious to dip his face in the water, his older brother was not as enthralled with the idea.

Last night, Drake and two of his buddies invaded our neighborhood in search of the heaviest bag of candy. They took off sprinting at exactly 6pm, leaving my husband in the dust trying to get his adult beverage in it’s cozy. Grady opted out of the festivities after going to three houses with me. He preferred to pass out candy to all the local ghouls and goblins. It was more like an assault to anyone who was brave enough to come to our front door but that is just a technicality.

He would sit and pound on the door while the children walked in the street and yell at them. "Hey!!! Hey kids I have treats! Come here!" He of course got “oooos and aaaahhs” from the high school girls and even some of the high school boys who asked him for high fives. He was in heaven and thoroughly enjoyed all the attention. It was my first time passing out candy as I usually go with Drake and I enjoyed seeing all the little kids costumes. Got a few ideas for next year but I have to get them passed the board of boys.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

i am off the wagon

This is the time of year I love and dread most. I love it because it begins the season of food, I hate it because it begins the season of food. From October 31st till just after January 1st our house is filled with treats, sweets and other things that are not nice to one's waist line. My work place is also infiltrated with things I have no will power to say no to. Now, one would think, as a grown adult, that I would be able to self monitor and not indulged myself on every little sweet that cropped it's pretty little head up in my direction. But I am weak...oh so very weak. I even admit to searching out treats in times of desperation and sugar withdrawal. And if I walk by the counter at work, the one with the beautiful tray of frosted brownies, I hear their pleas. They NEED me to eat them. (Yes I hear them talking and it is what they are truly saying) Even with my current "over the summer" weight loss of the last child's baby fat and the fact that I am fitting back into my old clothes I am still enticed by the wrappers and smells. So off the wagon I have leapt, face first into my son's Halloween bowl. Maybe I can use the left over duct tape from Grady's diaper debacle to stall gluttoness behavior? But I am suddenly having visions of the heavy mustache it may leave behind....scary!

But for fun and giggles this Halloween I have included the in-depth analysis of me answering 5 questions on blogthings. Spooky!!

You Are a Haunted House

You are a deeply complicated and sometimes deeply disturbed person.
You can't help but be attracted to the dark side of life - even when it's pretty gruesome.
In relationships, you are honest and real. So real that it's definitely a little scary.
You don't fake it or play along just to get along. And people either respect this... or deeply resent it

Your life is thoughtful, deep, and even philosophical at times.
You see the world as it is. You don't sugar coat anything.
Facing and fighting your fears is important to you. You believe that too much of life is whitewashed.
You're not too morbid... you just believe that you can't enjoy life without exorcising a few demons first!

At your best, you are brave, intense, and fearless.
Not only do you face the abyss head on - you challenge your friends to do the same.
At your worst, you are depressed and morose.
If you're not careful, your thoughts take over your mind... and they aren't pretty!

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

the trip

Ok, for now you will have to read about the trip without pictures. I keep meaning to download the pictures but the sickly child is being a bit demanding AND extremely whiney. If we had taken the "good" camera I would be able to download the pictures at work on my lap top. But.... we did not. We took the older, gently used camera so that if any unforeseen trauma or catastrophe occurred, the new expensive camera would be safe. That and the hubby thought no one in their right mind would want to steal the "old" camera. The problem is that the only place I can download pictures is on our PC which is currently inhabiting the spare bedroom that the older son has partially moved into. So, I can't get in there when I have time because that is when everyone is already tucked in and Drake is asleep! So here is a quick synopsis minus pictures:

It was fabulous!!! The weather was warm and sunny everyday. The beach was the most beautiful I had ever seen or sunk my toes into. The resort was nice though I thought the beds had little to be desired. The staff was very nice but did not speak much English but they also poured their drinks with a heavy hand (the Irish las really liked that). Our excursion into the country side was AMAZING!!

Ironically the first weekend we were in this island paradise was Oktoberfest. It was quite hilarious to see Dominican men dressed up in true German garb, complete with suspenders and pointy hats and the women in German themed dresses. Even better was to watch them try to do the traditional German dances. It was fun to hear "Roll Out the Barrel", in both English and Spanish, while laying on the beach and my husband's new favorite German/ polka song "You Are Too Ugly For Me". Their attempt at German food was scary though. I had never seen a white, like chalk, sausage and questioned exactly what is was made from. Neither of us was brave enough to try the sauerkraut casserole.

I enjoyed the quiet and reading three great books. Hubby's neck is still sore from going to the beach everyday. "Can you see my eyes through my sunglasses?" was a daily question. We even went so far as to rate the women who decided to go topless and laughed at the VERY apparent Americans trying to live like the natives. I decided to keep the girls covered for fear of severe sunburn and to not look like the American that I am. I had thought I had seen it all until our last day when a 50+ year old man stepped on to the beach in a Speedo Was not expecting that. Even scarier was that he was with his family comprised of older children. I don't think I need to point out that he was not in stellar shape and that his belly covered much of the front of the suit.

I will try and download tonight so I can share some of the sights. Truly is a beautiful country and I would recommend it to everyone. And for now I am back in the Midwest with a swift reality check to the behind. I hate that!

ramblings of a seven year old

Drake - Mom, I can't wear this it is Wednesday.
Me - No it is Tuesday so you can wear it.
D - Oh man!! Are you sure it is only Tuesday?
M - Yes sweetie it is.
D- My schedule must be off again!

Monday, October 29, 2007


Wiping away the last tear as I finally finished the "Deathly Hallows". Not at all what I expected but everything I thought (and hoped) it would be. Now I have to sit in quiet anticipation for the movie...drat!

Thursday, October 25, 2007

welcome home??

There is nothing like coming home to chilly weather after a long holiday to a much warmer climate. What makes it even worse is when you come home to a sick child. And not just cold sick, no, my child is of course an over achiever. (He couldn't let my first blog home be about all the fun I had but will post promise!) Grady decided that instead of a cold he was going to get full-blown pneumonia. So first thing this morning we were off to the doctor and then to have chest x-rays and then back to the doctor's office. Luckily it is bacterial pneumonia and can be treated with a course of antibiotics and rest (yeah right). So this post will be short and sweet as I am off to tend to the sick and the weary. The sick being Grady and the weary being me!

Thursday, October 18, 2007

blogging of for a while...

...while I am on holiday to the warm and sunny Dominican Republic. I will be back in a week and will post pictures and such. Take care!!

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

a little sadness

Now this is going to sound pathetic to some but I am still a bit traumatized by this occurrence. Today, while getting ready for work, I saw the glint of something shiny in my mirror as I was finishing my hair. Upon further examination the glint was found to first grey hair. Now I know this is normal and that there is no reason to despair, but it is my first and sadly I am sure, not my last. Please do not think that I am vain or high maintenance in any way. Those who know me will agree I am not about what people think or stereotypes and such. I am who I am and wear what I wear. But this foreign hair atop my head is a sign that yes, the clock is moving forward and my body is starting to show it. Women in my family do not turn totally grey until a very old age (my grandma was in her 70's) So the shock that the transformation is slowly beginning was a bit saddening. Gone are my days of wild youth and careless attitudes. Not that I have officially partaken in those as of late, being a mother and all, but the possibility was always there. Now I will actually show my age on my head along with the deepening creases in my forehead and laugh lines around my eyes. Sigh... guess I knew this day was coming. But hoped deep down that it would be a long ways away.

Monday, October 15, 2007

buckeyes ranked number one

The new rankings are out and Ohio State has jumped into the number one position!!! Now I am aware that all their big games are coming up and they have played teams that were not up to their caliber but many are saying "National Championship" game again this year. While I disagree, of course, with the sportscaster that thinks Oklahoma will go home with the championship, we are all allowed to voice our own opinions. I think the Buckeyes have what it takes to win this year. If not I will once again drown my sorrows in a pint of brewed bliss. Either way I am sure I will enjoy the ride.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

four days till holiday...

...but I am not counting by any means. I was startled awake this morning, before the crack of dawn, by the sounds of, "MOMMA!! I am hungry!" 5:00am is an ungodly hour, especially since I was up until midnight partaking in the girlish task of scrapbooking. Grady was most difficult to persuade back to some sort of rest/ sleep as I was refusing to get up and out of bed. After an hour and a half of laying on me, jabbing and flopping around, he was done. We were up, coffee brewing, greeting the new day. I by the way, was greeting it with an edge of crabbiness and overall disgruntledness. I gazed over to my mounding desk and realized that I had to start cleaning before "the mother" arrived in four days. As my previous post hints too, there is much anxiety with the arrival of my mother figure. For reasons beyond explanation (and gigabyte space) this brings me much stress and feelings of emotional unrest. So the cleaning frenzy began and took me through most of the day. I even skipped my soccer game!! It was pouring rain all day, my favorite way to play, but I did not want to risk any sort of sickness that may inflict itself on me before my holiday. So the house is almost sparkling, a few touch ups before her plane touches down, and we will be all good.

On a completely different note, Drake had the game of his life yesterday against the Jaguars. He decided to branch out Saturday and play defense as well as offense. Obviously this is where he is meant to be. He sacked the quarterback and caused four fumbles! Very bummed I had to miss it but got the play by play via text messaging and cell phone. Can you believe there is so much action in a tackle football game for kids four feet tall? Ok, I am now off of my bragging box, yet again. But it is so hard not to comment on the excitement of it all!!

Off to have words with the never ending pile of laundry. Till next time.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

she is quickly approaching

Frustration mounts to an apex of anxiety, never able to fully release it's strength. Sent to the depths of an eternal abyss to sit and smoulder among the vast emptiness of emotions. Eternally forsaken by its maker to live a life of sadness and destitution. Never able to experience the full happiness of life.....or is there?

Thursday, October 11, 2007

infliction continues

Intestinal infliction still continues and is now being shared with other family members. Will not elaborate with details, don't worry. I will silently suffer in my world of malodorous funk and diaper piles. Have begun to fervently pray infliction does not attack the maternal figure as we are only one week away from our holiday. Jes, bet you are so happy there was no play date Monday aren't ya?!?

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

the many reason i was late to work today

1. After dressing the two year old in a new little fall ensemble, he decided to take that moment in time to have a diaper blow out. Oh yes, it was a good one. Out the sides, out the bottom, it was everywhere…and I was already running a little bit late. Begin frantically searching for another fall outfit.

2. At that moment my seven year old bellows from upstairs, “Mom!? Did you pack the cookies for the Dragon Dash??” CRAP!! I forgot I signed up to bake for the annual PTO fundraiser. After checking his assignment notebook I then remembered why I signed up and cursed at myself for forgetting. I initially signed up because I knew I had off on Columbus Day, yesterday, and would have time to complete my maternal duties. Yeah well that was before I scheduled two doctors appointments and ran a gazillion errands in between. I proceeded to quick turn on the oven and pop some pre-made cookies on a tray.

3. THEN serious head trauma occurred. While coming down the stairs after brushing his teeth, the two year old takes a header into the wooden banister base, which leaves a lovely hole and imprint. Screams, tears and possibilities of a concussion ring in my ears. The imprint, though still there, quickly begins to swell and turn a rather nice shade of eggplant. I quickly slap, or shall I say gently place, an ice pack and pray his teacher does not call DCFS.

4. Finally everyone is off to their place of education, including me. Until the department of transportation decided to close 2 of the 3 lanes of 94 into Illinois. HELLO! It is rush hour and there are no lanes open. Did I mention I am late?? By now I am an hour late and don’t quite care at this point. What are they going to do… fire me? Yeah, we know that doesn’t happen where I work. Oooops! Did I just say that?

Hopefully my trek home is a lot less involved.

Monday, October 08, 2007

heinous hygenist

I just had my routine dental check up with the hygienist from hell. Obviously I have wronged her in another life and she was taking out her vendetta against my innocent teeth and gums. I got the "You need to take out your tongue ring" lecture (again) and then the "You REALLY need to floss EVERY day" lecture. I am sure she did not appreciate my rolling of the eyes after she repeated told me all the detrimental things that could happen if I kept in my piercing. I know all my teeth can fall out, I know it can get infected, I know someday my tongue could fall off, but I like it and I am keeping it. She was not impressed with my answer and tried to have the dentist gang up on me as well. Much to her dismay I replaced my barbell before leaving but after much blood shed and pain in my oral cavity. I pride myself on taking extra good care of my teeth and do not quite fully comprehend how she found so much plaque and such when I have never had problems in the past. Then, she had the audacity to rinse my mouth after brushing and cleaning with warm water. While some might find it nice, I do not. I had visions; none of them good, of what the warm liquid may or may not be. It was just the wrong temperature. I prefer a cool rinse, not a piss warm one. Ok, enough bickering for now. I am off to sooth my gums with a cool vanilla bean coffee. I am sure it will cure all that ails me today!!

Friday, October 05, 2007

friday fun

This cracks me up every time I watch it so I had to share. Sadly, I also say about 80-90% of those "Mom" sayings. Enjoy and don't make me come down there!!

more ramblings of a seven year old

The scene: We are trying to all get in the car to go and get ice cream as a special treat, John's idea. He shared with Grady that we are getting ice cream, wouldn't that be fun? Grady only heard "ice cream" and became hysterical at the fact John was trying to put him in his car seat...he wanted to eat ice cream right then and right there. He did not want to voyage neither near or far, he wanted his ice cream NOW!!! I sat in the front seat, made a big sigh and shook my head at the sight of the car seat battle that was ensuing.
Drake - Mom, aren't you glad Grady wasn't a fourthlet?
Me - A what??
D - A fourthlet, you know like if you had four of him.....twins, triplets, fourthlets....four of him.
M - (Stifling hysteric laughter) Yes, I am VERY glad Grady is not a quadruplet. One is more then enough.
D - It's not fourthlet?
M - No honey, if you have four babies they are called quadruplets.
D - Hmmmm....yeah one IS enough (as he covers his ears)

Thursday, October 04, 2007

new obsession

Darn seven year old got a polar bear Webkin. He has been asking for one forever. Now I have become obsessed with taking care of the silly thing online. You have to feed it, play with it and of course, earn money to buy it things. We have been having a rough stretch at home with some issues concerning listening and attitude, so computer time has been almost extinct. Then he throws out...."What about Icey?? How will I feed him?" The tears begin to well up and I am forced to check on this bear every day and make sure he is healthy and fed. And unfortunately they have this cool game, very similar to Tetris, and a tile game that is just like Mah Jong. So here I sit, playing away on my lunch break, and avoiding all human contact. Just to ensure my son's pet polar bear is loved and, truth be told, so I can earn enough money to buy him a cool pirate bed or new home addition!! Darn kid...

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

lacking motivation

Well, our trip is two weeks away and I received my new passport yesterday. The new passports are now actually quite cool and have different state landmarks on every page. Of course, because my trip is quickly approaching, I am becoming more and more unmotivated to do anything work related. Though I have been quite busy typing up a four page survival guide for my mother to help her navigate through my daily life while we are away. You would think after raising her own children she would be fine, but alas, that is not the case. I have to microanalyze every possible situation that could occur and provide the appropriate solution, all in writing. I also have to break down each child's day and what is required to get through it. This is probably why we have not been away alone in seven years!! I guess pretty soon I am just going to have to cross my finger and hope for the best. All I can hope for is that the kids are still alive and in one piece when we get home. I haven't even begun the shopping list of all the things I am going to have to get for our trip and for the house while we are gone. Guess I will have to save that for another day!

Monday, October 01, 2007

no sleep for this lassie

Yesterday my husband was kind enough to go and pick out more cold medicine so we could both get a good night sleep. Our house has been infested with germs and we keep recycling the same cold/germs amongst ourselves. So we are basically both huge snotty messes. Throw in some coughing and hacking and a few good sneezes here and there and you will have the perfect picture of our sick selves. As I was brushing my teeth my husband was also nice enough to open the two Tylenol pills for me. I was exhausted from a long weekend of grunt work and a very physical and exciting soccer game. I drearily took the pills, popped them in my mouth and chased them down with a shot of water. As I climbed into bed I was almost asleep upon hitting the pillow. A few minutes of pre-sleep chatting and I was off to dream land. Until... 15 minutes later when all of a sudden I was jolted wide-awake. I felt fine and I was WIDE-awake.... why?? Oh well now let me tell you. I was wide-awake because my loving husband purchased extra long lasting, non-drowsy day formula of Tylenol cold. He might as well have slipped me an upper because there was not one ounce of drowsiness in my body. He on the other hand, was fast asleep. His years of dabbling must have made him immune to the speed like effects of the Tylenol. Not to worry!! Every once in a while I would give him a good jab or shove to remind him that I was WIDE awake while he lay there sleeping like a newborn babe. I am hoping my continued coffee buzz will get me through another soccer game tonight in the cold damp weather...yuck! We do get to play under the lights which is a bonus and reminiscent of days of old. Pretty fitting since I would often play games back then without much sleep too.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

more ramblings of a seven year old

This is what Drake exclaimed after tasting the new choconilla Rice Krispies:
D - Mom!
M- Yes, Drake.
D - This taste, like 40% better then the natural flavored kind! Want a bite? But only a little one.
M - No, that is ok. I will let you enjoy your 40% better cereal. (chuckle chuckle)
D - Maawwwm! Not funny.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

one stone at a time

This looming mound of stone was what awaited us at 7am this morning. An innocent looking two ton rock pile was about to make me her slave. This was, of course, one of John's "great" plans. We would remove all the mulch from the flower beds around our house and add rock. Sounded easy enough, till we got started. We spent last weekend raking out the mulch, trimming the bushes back and my favorite....weeding.Truth be told, I hate weeding. Weeds taunt me all summer long, because quite frankly, I usually ignore them. One summer when my BFF was visiting to help after Grady was born she took on the task of weeding my flower beds. This was, and still is something, for some reason only known to God, she likes to. Well, since my beds were very, very ignored, some weeds were rather large. She actually pulled her back when she tried to pull an extremely overgrowm weed out of the ground. Luckily a G&T quickly eased her pain. But back to my tormenting pile of rocks. The boys were very excited to help. They each grabbed their shovels and began moving rocks, one stone at a time. We made quite a dent today. Just a little to do tommorow and we should be close to done. Good thing there is a bottle of merlot waiting for me!

Thursday, September 27, 2007

my date with a short guy

Since I am once again single momming it this week I got to spend a quiet evening at home with my two year old. His older brother was at football practice so it was just he and I for two glorious hours. Yes, I did just right that, and yes, I do know it sounds shocking to most. We started our evening with some fine cuisine; Grady chose to eat cereal, yogurt and applesauce while I dined on Life. He then decided it would be great to pretend we were in a marching band. You can see the effort that went into to his selection of grand marshal attire. He was kind enough to share one of the maracas with me as he insisted I shake it and follow him as he circled our downstairs. (be sure to take note of the residual duct tape accent from the previous nights diaper) We made beautiful music together. On a side note, I apologize to all the neighbors that had to endure our noise since most of our windows and front door were open! He then proceeded to woo me on the dance floor with John Travolta like dance moves. I am also hoping the neighbors were not peeking in my windows during that portion of the evening. Especially since Grady is only three feet tall and the only person they would be able to see dancing was me! We finished our evening with a rousing game of Pop-up Pirate, highly recommended since most two year olds would prefer to lose and pop up the pirate. Then we read some books and he was off to bed. If only every night was that enjoyable!

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

if a picture is worth a thousand words....

This should easily sum up my day.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

lubrication anyone?

Catchy title now isn’t it? Well pull your minds from the bowels of the sewer and feast your eyes on the demonic seed of my womb. You would think by now I would know better then to enjoy a few minutes of silence in my house of boys. But alas, I was enjoying the peace and quiet of the moment until the faint giggle of destruction was heard. I bellowed to my two year old but no response, just more giggles. Becoming quickly frightened by what may be evoking this sense of glee in my toddler, I jumped from my chair to find the culprit of naughtiness. As you can see, I found quite a mess. Some how my little monster got a hold of a brand new bottle of lotion. Obviously my walls were “dry” and in need of some moisturizing. And of course, he was more then willing to help out a wall in need! Sadly, it was hard to get mad when he flashed that bewitching grin my way and showed me the gooey mess on his hands. Sigh…. guess that is what I get for not keeping him underfoot. Maybe someday I will learn. But for now I guess I just have to enjoy the rubble he leaves in his wake.

Monday, September 24, 2007

girls rule

Have to take this time and give a little shout out to the US women's soccer team. They are, if I am still correct, ranked first and will be playing Brazil in the semi-finals. I would also like to give a word of "thanks" to my friend Beth for sharing her pictures from her friend Missy (are you keeping up?) who is over there with the women's team as we speak...brat! I offered to be her personal assistant but did not receive a response, buggar! Can't even fathom what it would be like to be there. Jealous, very very jealous.

On a sad and disgruntled side note, my soccer team tied yesterday even though we by far out played our opponents. We of course had the ref we are all not fond of who randomly insisted halfway through that we all tuck in our shirts, as it is "a rule". He was also a little foul happy as he would call anything remotely close to clean but would not call those plays close to, shall we say, not so clean. I guess I should not complain too much as he let my beautiful, yet illegal in our league, slide tackle go even when the opposing team was more then willing to point out my wrong doing and the fact I was smirking it was not called. I truly could not help smirking because, well, it was just so darn pretty and I don't get many of those these days. And I prevented a possible goal with my tactic so that boded well with me too. Thankfully I did not hurl on the field as I also insisted on playing under the weather…yes I know I have serious issues but a girl has to be faithful to her team! We are no match for team USA but fun, and at times amusing to watch none the less!

passport snafu

The scene: 10:30 pm last evening. I am almost lulled to sleep when my husband asks, “Do you know where you passport is?”
Me: Yes, it is in my file folder on the desk
Him: Good. Is it still good?
Me: I would think so…damn I don’t know.
Him: Are you getting up to check?
Me: Are you serious???
Him: Yeah. How do you plan to go on our trip? I will go without you by the way.
Me: Oh no you wouldn’t!
Him: Oh yes I would, now go check.
Me: cursing under my breath as I voyage down the stairs, stumbling over a matchbox car…ouch! More cursing directed at children who don’t put their toys away.....grumble, grumble….can’t believe he is making me check this…cursing…found it! “Oh shit!!!”
Him: What? Oh, let me guess, it has expired?
Me; Yes! And wipe that smirk off your face. You know I will be up all night worrying now. Thanks a lot!!!
Him: Anytime! You will need to take care if that tomorrow.
Me: Really?!? I had no idea.
Him: And don’t be cheap, you had better get that expedited as soon as you can!

Within minutes I hear him snoring loudly, satisfied he has caused me much angst and a sleepless night. All the while I lay there contemplating whether the US Government will process my passport in time for my trip, which is less then a month away and snarling at this deep breathing bear besides me. I hate when he is right!! Maybe if I send cookies or sweets in my envelope they will process it quicker. OR better yet, I will send an exasperated picture of me and the boys and they will instantly pity me and see I need a holiday away from the demonic duo. Please direct all happy mojo and thoughts towards Philadelphia where they will be processing my forms.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Flashback Sunday

I have been hit with two major flashbacks today. First of which is my beloved Dead Milkmen. I have heard this song twice in the past week so I am sharing it's high quality lyrics and animation with you. Besides, what is not to love about the Dead Milkmen?? The other flashback I had in church this morning. While I was sitting waiting for church to start I was suddenly overtaken by the smell of Love's Baby Soft. Now I know that totally ages me as everey girls reading this remembers this as her first perfume, or at least in my junior high. I think every girl in my sixth grade class wore this everyday to school. Our gym locker room had this hovering mist after every gym class. I don't think I have smelled it since the 80's and suddenly..... there it was. I was unable to located it's origin, but I recognized it just the same. I am hoping it was a young tween and not some grown woman trying to recapture her youth.

Friday, September 21, 2007

backward slide

Well, the past four mornings have been filled with tears, screams and tantrums. No not me, well actually, I guess a little bit of me, but Grady. I thought we had overcome the pre-school hurdle when he hopped into pre-school on Monday. But Tuesday morning was quickly met with tears and screaming which ultimately resulted in one of the teachers prying his kicking and writhing body off of mine. This pattern has continued every morning this week. It sickens me to hear his screams through the doors as I try and quickly exit. It is even worse when I can still hear them, only slightly muffled, by the closing of the glass door in the front of the building. My heart sinks and I feel like “the bad Mom”. His teacher assures me it does not last long, though it's effects stay with me throughout the day. I restrain from calling to check on him, even though I am sure they would think I was a complete whack job if I did that. AND it is a K-8 school. I am sure they are busy and have better things to do then listen to the ramblings of a neurotic mother having one of her emotion breakdown days. The daily crying is amplified by my feelings of morose I am sure. I know he is fine throughout the day though am a bit worried by the fact that every day this week he has eaten little of his lunch according to his daily note page. Not to worry! I am quickly snapped back into sanity as soon as he comes home and his “true” self emerges. Like last night when he began wildly hitting his brother with a plastic golf club…yes, then I am ready to send him back to school kicking and screaming all the way!! Or when he wanted his brother to be done water coloring so they could race cars…. I am sure you can imagine the carnage of water and paint. Yes, these moments instantaneously flick me in the head and have me counting down the time till I can drop him off back at school.

Thursday, September 20, 2007


I stumbled across this picture of a painting the other day and was instantly taken by it. It encompasses how I have been feeling these past few weeks on so many levels (could also be blamed on the hormones). I find myself back at work and quickly in the sludge of things. Days blur into one another and weeks blend into months and still I feel lost. Lost in what my true purpose is and to what has become of the destiny I thought the world held for me. Yes I know this is starting to sound like a pity party for me, suck it up princess.... right? But sometimes it feels good to wallow in that which is negative, at least for a short while anyway. As the woman in this picture looks out into the vast emptiness of the world, it reminds me of how alone I often feel. Left naked to ponder, what I perceive, as life's injustices. Remnants of the past are scattered, but still there and visible, like constant reminders of removed affirmations. Soon she will rise, dress and walk away from it all. Jump back into the blur of life and silently pulling down the blind to cover the empty window.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

more ramblings of a seven year old

Since I am single mommin' it this week, I succumbed to the temptation, and fervent pleas, to go through the McDonald's drive through last night. Here is what transpired:
2 year old - Momma, fries pease.
Me: Ok, but be careful they are very hot. (I love when we get a fresh piping hot batch!)
2y/o: Hotty hot?
Me: Yep, hotty hot hot.
7 year old: But not hot like sexy hot right?
Me: No, not hot like....what did you just say?!?
7 y/o: Hot like sexy hot.
Me: How do you know what that is?
7 y/o: I hear things... you know... like conversations. (said so nonchalant and with a touch of know it all)
Me: Hmmmm. Well unlearn that ok?
7 y/o: (giggles) Oh kay Mom (said with an exasperated sigh like a teenager...geez I hate that!!)

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

picture perfect, at least in this one

This is one of my latest pictures of the boys. When our photographer showed it to me I instantly fell in love and HAD to have it. I have yet to disclose to my husband how much it cost but he of course has not asked. Probably a very smart thing for him. It really captures each of them so well even if they don't always get along. It also serves as a reminder to me that even under their rough and tough exteriors (very, very far under some days) there dwells gentle and kind souls. I am also aware that I do not have much more time to do these "cutesy" pictures with both of them. Drake is running down the road of boyhood and Grady,..... well he is just plain running! I may be able to squeeze a few more of these out of them before my pleas will be met with rolling eyes and deep throated sighs. So for now I will bask in the simplicity of the boys in this picture, if there is such a thing.

Monday, September 17, 2007

what?! are you serious?

Why, as a grown adult, must I still endure the pain and agony of school pictures? Yes, I am fully aware I work in a school, but I did not see this stated anywhere in my contract as a necessary requirement. I don't even have a classroom!! By the way, the picture to the left is a preview of my "school" picture taken today. Don't I look smashing? It does not help matters that I forgot today was picture day. Who puts picture day on a Monday when you have all weekend to forget? Throw in the fact that I am inherently non-photogenic and this picture will be on my ID card the next year...bad just bad I tell you.

On a much happier note, the cool breezes of fall are upon us which means.... time for flannel sheets!! I know, it is the little things that bring me so much pleasure. It was divine to crawl into their softness last night. And even better, I get to enjoy them alone this week because John is in California! Now, if I could only get my toddler to sleep past 6am, now that would be truly glorious!

Sunday, September 16, 2007

alas, the truth has caught up with me...

You Are 12% Pure

You've been a very bad girl or boy...And you probably enjoyed every minute of it.

And to make things worse I also scored this:
Your Reputation Is: Maneater

You're the kind of girl all the chicks hate...And guys are both scared of you yet strangely drawn in.

Side note: I have become a bit addicted to the quizzes on Not that I put these quick and fun little time wasters on the pedestal of truth, but these two really hurt. Truly, I am a good person, though by these results you may begin to wonder. Guess that is where my mischievous side has been revealed. My BFF tried to convince me she was 56% pure…she totally lied on her quiz!! I know way too much to think she is that pure. At least I know who the honest one is on our relationship!

Friday, September 14, 2007

right now I am definitely the second

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.

For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire.

No further studies are expected.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

I think I noticed this on our front door this morning

Since I have been back at work there has been a significant decline in the state of our internal affairs. Typically, when I am trying to run out the door by 6:40am I tend to disregard (or completely ignore) the level of cleanliness of our humble abode. But as I was making the mad dash this morning I shuttered at the large glaring words on my wall calendar.... babysitter - 6:15pm. Oh crap!!! We have a sitter coming tonight?? A quick glance around the downstairs proved to be one of the scariest moments in my week. Four loads of laundry were piled on two of the three couches, one load is still in the dryer, Grady's pop-up train tent was in the middle of the kitchen (he had to stop and get gas), the toy room had a near fatal nuclear explosion with the ramifications spilling out into the dining room and entryway and I won't even begin to try and describe the condition of the kitchen table, let alone my desk (is it even still there??). I shared the troubling news with my husband and gave him a plea for mercy, “Could you please start picking up??” I think I may have even promised certain favors if I walked into a clean house after work, but I am not positive. I can always plead insanity when the collections are due. So all I can do now is try and not think about it, wish for the best and hope my hazmat suit comes in today. Thank goodness I look good in orange!

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

something fun for hump day - you know you want to do it!

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current car)
Sadie Golf

2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (fave ice cream flavor, favorite cookie)
Chocolate Peanutbutter Oreo

3. YOUR “FLY Guy/Girl” NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name),

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Purple sheep

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Addington Youngstown

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first)

7. SUPERHERO NAME: (”The” + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink)
The Green Merlot

8. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers)
Ervin William

9. STRIPPER NAME: ( the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy)
Very Sexy Chocolate

10.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle names )
Wentz Grady

11. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: (Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter)
Ruman Raliegh

12. SPY NAME: (your favorite season/holiday, flower)
Fall Tulip

13. CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + “ie” or “y”)
Banana Jeanie

14. HIPPY NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree)
Coffee Oak

15. YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR NAME: (”The” + Your fave hobby/craft, fave weather element + “Tour”),
The Scrapping Blizzard Tour

I would love to hear what your are! What better way to waste ten minutes :)

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

strategically placed motorcycle

As I ventured off to pre-school this morning with Grady I got behind a very slow moving motorcycle. Now, I am a girl who likes to drive on the faster end of the spectrum and no matter what time I leave in the morning I always feel rushed. So here I am, trudging along a country road, full of cornfields and maybe a handful of houses, at barely 40 mph. This is literally driving me to gouge my eyes out!!! I begin plotting my revenge on the cyclist before me and wonder how in tarnation he can drive so slow on a country road with no traffic or small children playing on the wayside. Most of this road is also doubled lined, damn the city, so passing is limited to a tiny stretch on a downhill. As we crested the hill I was full of glee that soon I would be able to pass this lackadaisical driver and leave him in my dust. This is when I noticed, in the distance, the glint of the morning sun bouncing off a car parked on the side of the road. Hmmm, odd place for a car. After a quick moment of contemplation I abandon passing the motorcycle. Whew! Because lo and behold, the glint was bouncing off a police car, damn the city again! How sneaky to put a car on a road full of temptation to speed! Needless to say I was sending my driving angel many prayers of thanks for deterring me from a ticket. Now I guess I will have to be a little more careful on that road, at least when I am cresting that hill!!

Monday, September 10, 2007

la la land

I have been procrastinating introducing Grady to sing along music for a long long time. I still have nightmares induced by the many sing along tapes Drake had as a toddler. And honestly, who wants to spend the day with a hum job from the Wiggles? I was ok with the Laurie Berkner songs G's sitter got him addicted too but was not willing to voyage too far past that. Until he was screaming incessantly the other morning and I was ready to fling him from my fast moving vehicle, car seat and all. I scrounged around in my glove box and found a Baby Genius CD from many years ago. The fact that it had been moved into my car from my last one still has me baffled. Needless to say Grady now chants "monkey song! monkey song!" as soon as we get in the car. His song of choice you query? Why it is none other then "Five Little Monkeys Jumping On the Bed". He particularly likes when the doctor yells at the monkeys to stop jumping on the bed and has the finger scold to go with it. Thankfully my drive is only ten minutes to preschool, which means I only have to listen to the song two times before we get there. Unlike when Drake was his age and drove the whole 35 minute commute with me, singing those songs over and over and over till I went mad I tell you! Mad!! I guess I can suck it up and handle ten minutes here and there and pray we don't have any road trips in our near future!

PS: Blogger is being pissy once again and won't let me upload my cute monkey picture.....Grrrrrr!!!
PSx2: Ok, after several attempts I finally got it to work, or Blogger's coffee finally set in, the choice is yours.

Sunday, September 09, 2007

belated wedding pictures

Here are some of the pictures from my brother's wedding last weekend. It was beautiful and the weather was perfect! I loved their non-traditional cake choice, as did all the kids. Melanie hired a balloon guy who made all the boys swords. It kept them entertained and gave the adults some time to chat. Grady ran back and forth attacking everyone in sight with his sword. We lost him for a brief moment and eventually found him under the table with a little girl his same age. Hmmmm, starting early. Guess he takes after his Dad on that!!