Wednesday, January 30, 2008

a day of hookey

Due to the extremely cold temps the kids are off of school, again. So I decided to stay home with them, again. Ironically the school system I work in did not feel -33 degrees was cold enough to cancel school so I canceled it for myself! I have taken the morning to peruse pictures of tattoos on the internet. I have been itching for a new one for a long while now. I was "told" by the husband that he is to get the next one but he can't find the exact one he is looking for. I, on the other hand, have a plethora of ideas and can't quite decide which path to take. I am very intrigued by the spinal tats of Angelina Jolie and Victoria Beckham but am also contemplating adding to the one on my lower back. Hubby is against adding on as he likes that one just the way it is. Decisions, decisions. I know my BFF in Boston is in the same frame of mind but has to pop out her babe before we can visit the ink parlor. Thankfully she is due in two weeks! So for now I will continue to look and gather ideas. Jes, maybe I can use your hubby's influences to help me find what I am looking for. Plus I think you need another one too! Guess I should be more constructive with my time. Maybe I will start tackling the immense pile of laundry that is taunting me as I type. Or I will continue to endlessly search the internet for all that it has to offer.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

you may know her

Her name is Angry Angie and she has taken over my mental state. She came to visit Friday night after a belated company Christmas dinner party in Chicago. The dinner was very nice, it was the return home that sparked Angie's fury. Consider it a series of unfortunate events. The sitter that was being paid to watch the children obviously missed the portion of her contract that stated she actually had to "watch" the children. I walked in to a house filled with snow. No, not the outside snow that would easily melt and dry, oh no. This was the snow made by the hands of a two year old wielding scissors that he should NOT have acquired. Grady loves to make snow/ confetti with scissors, but I often try and limit this to a minimum since clean up is treacherous and very time consuming. Well, said babysitter was yakking away in the other room when Grady found the scissors and went to work. I should mention that he also tried to cut Drake's hair as well as the fur of one of the slow and stupid cats. Drake's screams did not seem to spark alarm to the sitter as she was well engrossed in the politics of high school drama and such. Shocking. She also failed to notice that the same two year old, deciding he was quite thirsty after such escapades, decided to pour himself a glass of red Kool-Aid. Ah yes, he is quite skilled and independent this two year old of mine. He even thought he could handle an open cup.... but alas, he was wrong. I know he was wrong because I now have a nice red blotch on my cream carpet in the family room. Now you are probably saying, "She didn't attempt to hide her inaccuracies by cleaning up?" No. no. That would require a bit of work and effort. No, she left the mess for us. What makes it even worse is that my husband A) paid her and B) paid her more then normal because he did not have smaller bills. I have struggled to let those last two points go and have brought them up often over the past few days. That Angie, she brings out the worst in you. He keeps reminding me that the boys are safe but do you realize the possibilities they could have encountered? My co-workers son climbed out of his playpen, snagged her tweezers, rammed them into the electrical outlet and shorted out their whole house....all in the five minutes she hopped in the shower!!! This is the reason I have not been blogging. My mind is filled with thoughts, none of which are nice, and I don't want to spew anger on my blog. Oooops! I guess I just did!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

and then the motrin kicked in

Well the Motrin kicked in and we were quickly under siege by a colander wearing Martian. The alien life form was fast on his fat little feet and boasted two rather large death rays. He beckoned in his Martian language for all those present to put down their weapons and submit to his all knowing powers. I cowered in fear at his amazing strength and prowess. But he was no match for me!! I still have a quick draw and won the ultimate battle show down.

This alien was not fast enough for my catastrophic death ray missile launcher... mooo ah ha ha

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

incase you were curious....

In the last half hour I have cleaned puke up from five different spots on the carpet, one spot on the hardwood floor and once on the couch. I also had the joy of cleaning up toddler tinkle as he had a coughing fit while in mid stream. Ironically the husband is no where to be seen. Jes - your foot thing better work!!!

Monday, January 14, 2008

did he really just.....

Welcome to the world of Grady. He ceases to amaze me and yet, still continues to scare me on a daily basis.

Exhibit A: To increase the appearance of potty training we have installed the "M&M principle". When Grady goes on the potty he earns an M&M, when he REALLY goes on the potty he earns four M&Ms. Well last night he REALLY went and was quick to remind me that he got four candies. I gave him his candies and reminded him to flush. BIG mistake. I should have reviewed proper potty etiquette and had him flush first, reward second. In his excitement to flush (it is very exciting you know) he accidentally dropped one of his candies into the bowl. Before I realized what happened it was, well, just too late. I am sure you are all cringing in your seats, it sickens me to even type it. I was so close to ramming my finger down his throat to make him throw every last nasty germ up but opted for the "that which doesn't kill us only makes us stronger". Good news.... he is still alive and kicking!

Exhibit B: Grady was amusing me as I was getting ready in the bathroom. Maybe amusing is too nice of a word. Basically he was demanding all my time and energy and preventing me from making any progress towards moving out the door for work. He took this opportune moment to pick a piece of hair from my brush, plop it in his mouth and try to eat it. Is there anything this child does not eat?!? Does he lack appreciation for the finer tastes in life? Am I not feeding him well? One can't forget this past summer when he was eating the tress while camping. Maybe a future in competitive eating in in his future. sigh...

Exhibit C: Grady had strategically removed on of the missile launchers from Drake's Star Wars fighter plane and was assaulting everyone in sight. As he was annihilating me with the gun he yelled, "You dead!!" Not wanting a call from pre-school about the violent tendencies my son is teaching others I opted to take this as a teachable moment. I squatted down and told him, "We don't kill people and tell them they are dead. You can pretend to shoot them and then say 'Gottcha'. No killing." To this he proceeded to shoot me some more and say, " Cheeew, cheeew. I got you. Your dead!!" Well that pep talk got me no where. It did not help that my husband burst into hysterical laughter at Grady's response to my talk. "Oh yeah, you definitely got your point across there! Good one." To which I respond - Bite me!!

Sunday, January 13, 2008

da boys

It is football Sunday in this house and the boys enjoyed a day of relaxing and cheering. Only one of the teams we were cheering for won today but the Packers won yesterday so that makes the world a better place, at least in this house! Grady is not one for sitting but he did stop his endless running for this one picture. Now I just have to wrangle him up for some stories and it is off to bed for him and off to soccer for me!

Saturday, January 12, 2008

toothless wonder

The unveiling of the toothless wonder! The tooth fairy decided to be fair and brought the traditional half dollar. But no worries! I treated him to a new Brett Farve shirt for the play off game today. He will be happily sporting it for the game today in hope of spurring the Packers to another win. I did not want to start any sort of gift giving from a tiny fairy in case this happens again. Consistency is key and this tooth fairy only brings money.

Friday, January 11, 2008

say it isn't so

Drake left for school this morning with his first loose tooth hanging by a thread. He could have easily pulled it out but I knew he wanted it to fall out at school. And who could blame him? He is, or shall I say was, the only kid in his class that had never lost a tooth. Well, the tooth did eventually come out. He chose snack time as "the big moment". He was so excited to tell me how everyone gathered around and wanted to look at his tooth. Then he got a special sticker from his teacher and got to go to the nurse too. Then came the tears.... lots and lots of them. He then proceeded to sob out how he had put his tooth in a little treasure box and carefully placed it in his lunch box. (you see where this is going don't you?) During a rousing lunch with friends he forgot the special box was in there and dumped the contents of his lunch box into the garbage can. THEN, he remembered what valuable contents he had just purged. He went frantically searching for an aid who directed him to the janitor. This man better hope I never run into him on a dark and narrow street. He would not dig through to try and find the little blue treasure box. "There is too much garbage in there, I would never find it." Guess that is why he gets paid $5.00 and be a prick to little kids. I work in a school and have seen our janitors dump out garbage looking for retainers, ice cream money, etc so I know it can be done without the world coming to an end. This selfish man chose to be a (pick a word). So Drake come home without a tooth and fears that the tooth fairy would never visit him. I suggested that she already knew he lost his tooth and that if he wrote a letter I am sure she would still come and visit him. He asked if she would go through the garbage for his tooth. I replied with the always popular, "Well honey I am not quite sure. Maybe". This calmed him though the tears did reappear as bedtime approached. Be on the lookout for the grand unveiling of his toothless smile!!

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

ramblings of a seven year old

I feel the need to preface the following conversation with a little background info. We, as a family unit, are vocally challenged. I love to sing and do so in my car and house but refrain from inflicting tonal harm to others while in a public setting. You will never see me karaoke, no matter how many beverages I have consumed. Along with being vocally challenged, Drake also has a beat/ rhythm deficiency. Now I am hoping he acquires this skill later in life but so far the outlook is dismal. Two weeks ago in church we were singing a song that everyone was clapping to. Drake clapped off beat the entire song! he was clueless to his lack of beat and had everyone around us, including myself, laughing to tears. With that said - here is the conversation we had in the car last night while listening to the radio.

Drake: Mom!! I sound JUST like the guy singing this song.
Me: Oh yeah, I can hear that.
D: Yeah, it's a talent. I hear a song and at first I don't know the words so I hum but then I really listen to it and I know the words.
M: Wow, that's really good.
D: Yeah I know. It's a gift. It's a special gift Gad gave me to make me unique and special. Not many people can sound just like the person singing you know.
M: No... no they can't.

I was nice enough to not point out that at times his off pitch voice makes me, and all those within a two mile radius, cringe. I was also nice enough to stifle the welling laughter and wipe away the tears before he saw them!

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

the good, the bad, the ugly

The Good - Grady has decided he wants to start potty training. He has been asking for pull-ups for a few weeks now and has been insisting on wearing his swimmies from the summer instead of diapers. I was able to convince him to wear them over his diaper at bedtime but this tactic was wearing thin. On a monthly voyage to Target I opted for the pull-ups instead of the diapers. It pained me to pay the same price for less then half of the diapers you would normally get, but I guess that is the price of success. We introduced the pull-ups this weekend and he was in LOVE!! Just trying to get them off of him was a nightmare. trying to rationalize that there is no reason you should be potty trained at night at 2 and a half and it is Ok to wear a diaper at night time did not bode well. Again I opted for the pull up over the diaper. It seems to be working for now. He stayed in the same pull-up all day yesterday with no accidents!! It was such a glorious day! I am hoping he is still excited as I would love to move on to big boy undies and stash that diaper money in my get-a-way fund. ha ha

The Bad - Do I even need to say? They did it to themselves. I knew within the first minutes of the game, when they scored on the kick off return, that it was all over. It was a complete de ja vu of last years championship game - they scored right away and then forgot to play the rest of the game. They were victims to their own problems. I mean really - could you have anymore personal fouls?? They set LSU up for victory. I could rant and rant but I will withhold for now.

The Ugly - This is how I would describe Grady's face after planting it into the corner of my night stand this morning while wrestling with his brother. (I was in the shower having woke up a half an hour before we were all supposed to leave for school this morning) I hear the blood curdling scream and see Grady run into the bathroom with blood everywhere. Not only did he have a bloody nose but a bloody upper AND lower lip. He wouldn't let me try and stop the bleeding with my sopping wet body and bath towel so the blood spattering in my bedroom looks like a horror film took place there. I am dreading going home and trying to clean it up. Thankfully I replenished my Resolve Carpet Spray supply when I went to Target and got the pull-ups! No time this morning to take a picture but take my word for it, it was not pretty!!

Monday, January 07, 2008

it's game time!!!

The count down has officially begun. It is now only hours until game time. I am so excited to watch this game that I am contemplating putting the boys down extra early so I can enjoy the pre-game show as well. Drake has shown quite the interest in watching the game so I may let him stay up a bit if he follows the "official game" bylaws. There are too many to list and if I did you would definitely think I was a wack job! A girl's gotta have rituals :) One of which is attire.
I already have on my buckeye necklace which ironically Grady keeps trying to confiscate. I tried to let him wear it but he kept insisting on trying to eat it. Sigh.... what is a buckeye girl to do?! So I have now safely placed it out of reach until he is asleep. I am hoping for a better game then last year, yes I do still remember how they were throttled by Florida. And when I finally get the horrific image out of my head my kind and gentle Florida loving neighbor is more then willing to remind me.... damn him!! Off to start the pre-game rituals. OH......IO!!!

Thursday, January 03, 2008

enjoying the peace

I am sitting at my kitchen table in awe of the silence that has enveloped my home. Both boys are back at school and the house is eerily quiet. Now, I am NOT complaining in any way, shape or form. I have the luxury of enjoying this time because I do not go back to work until next Monday and I will say it has been one of the best days thus far. I decided to start off this day with a bunch of errands, quite the joy without having to lug around two kids and put one in and out of the car seat every time I have to stop. I thoroughly enjoyed flitting in and out of places quickly, with no distractions, whimpering or whining. So this was what it was like pre-children?? I have long forgotten. I even treated myself to a leisurely stroll around Barnes and Noble... mmmmm. I could get lost in there for hours, except with children in tow!! I of course went right to the journal section. There is something about a new journal. Every page is clean, begging for words of wisdom, inspiration or reflection. I leafed through and handled quite a few and finally walked away. I do have quite a few that have been started and never finished. Plus, can't I consider this a type of journal? I was also honest with myself.... I don't have time to sit and contemplate the world like I used to or at least not to the extent that is satisfying to me. I can't quickly jot in a journal. I have tried. It does not work. I get lost in thought and emotion and start writing on and on and on. And I become quite cranky if interrupted in a beautiful stream of thought. So blogging it is! I was reminded a few days ago that I wrote that I would delve into past writings and share...sigh. I guess I am still working up the courage. (Another reason I like blogging) I can share daily happenings and stressors but still keep my inner workings safely tucked away. Yeah, yeah Beth, I can hear you now!! So with all that said I will make an attempt to put some of my writing out there. I have done a few and survived so I guess that is a good sign.

I would also like to wish everyone in the internet world a happy and blessed New Year. May your year be filled with prosperity, love and friendship!!