Wednesday, April 30, 2008

the night before the knife

Here is a brief visual - be prepared - it is a scary, scary scene. To my left is my snoring hubby, useless to the state of mind I am functioning in right now. Though his sleeping state is allowing me to balance my wine on his leg - score one for me! To the right is a quickly disappearing pint of Ben and Jerry's "Imagine Whirled Peace". Mmmm, mmmmm, goodness. On my lap is my beloved laptop, soon to be replaced by a newer and shinier version. shiivvver And to numb my mind I am entertaining it with the newest edition of the Real World. I am curious as to what will sustain my attention throughout the evening as I am sure there will be no sleep for this lassie. Grady spiked another fever tonight before going to bed but did so without eating dinner. Now I definitely have to wake him up to eat in an hour or so. Don't even want to start thinking about the monster child he will be tomorrow if I don't. Yaaawnn. Maybe I actually will sleep from my food and beverage induced coma. Lucky me,and of course, lucky you! Off to feed a monster!

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

for the love of pete, someone get me a paxil!

We are now at two days and counting till Grady's surgery and my anxiety is in FULL form. It has taken the form of over eating (ok, nothing REALLY new but if I can blame my big butt on something I will dammit), excessive crabbiness and lots of wine consumption. I guess those last two can fall under the previous side note as well, sigh... what is a lassie to do? This anxiety is invading every aspect of my daily living, so much so that it is now rearing it's ugly head in my dreams. Last night I dreamt I let Drake and his friend M drown in a pool. I already have a phobia of Drake and water because he can't see without his glasses, this just made it ten times worse. The worst part was I had to drag their bodies up from the bottom of the pool that all of a sudden was over flowing with people. I woke up shaking and ready to vomit. I finally googled what they were going to be doing to monster boy during his surgery - can't decide if that made it better or worse. I keep having flashbacks to my surgery and that darn little boy I treat. I know the possibilities of something freakish happening are slim but in the words of my friend Jes, "If it's freaky it happens to me." That is how I feel about Grady. I mean, we have the whole birth thing, then the dinosaur ridge on his head AND we can't forget the feet debacle! So you can see why I am all a tizzy over this simple, do it with your eyes closed surgery. Yeah, I thought so. Did I mention that we don't check in until 10 am and he can't eat after midnight - Gremlins anyone? Then, too add to the joyousness of the occasion, Grady decided to spike a fever tonight - due to yet ANOTHER ear infection. Thankfully they will operate even if he has one cause I don't think I can postpone it. So for now I will continue to sit and fester about the millions of possibilities that could happen and patiently wait for some happy pills in the mail.

Monday, April 28, 2008

brutally honest monday - boys and their toys

The scene - the boy's bathroom right before they both jump into the shower. Both boys are pealing off their dirty clothes after a long afternoon of playing outside. Drake is taunting Grady (shocking) by shaking his butt at him. Grady graciously returns the favor. Next thing I know Drake turns around and starts singing "Whoop, there it is! Whoop there it is!" while flashing Grady with his manhood. Yes, this is a brutal and honest look at my life. But my friends, it gets better. I know you find that hard to believe, but trust me on this one. I take my shower dictator role and begin shouting out directions to the boys in the shower, "Be sure to lather the SIDES of you head! Extra soap in the pits and parts!!" I do a little visual monitor check to see how all is going when the sight before me takes me breath away. There is my little three year old... lathering away - oblivious to the evil which is his older brother. It is at this moment that I catch the older, well I just can't think of how to put this nicely, peeing on his brother's back. "DRAKE!!!" "What??! He doesn't know I am doing it. He thinks it is the shower. giggle snort snort" What possesses their brain to do these sort of things? Where has all the estrogen gone in my life??

So there is a little brutally honest glimpse at my male dominated life. I would love to hear yours. You can also check out the originator of it all at the link below. I think we are distant relatives because her dinner table is just like mine growing up. Remember the time with the broccoli....?
Brutally Honest Mondays” border=

Sunday, April 27, 2008

5 minutes for mom

Brothers - an unbreakable bond between two boys. While this picture perfect moment has been replaced with bickering and fighting as of late, I know the love is still there. It may be deep, DEEP down, not visible to the naked eye but it is still there. Every once and a while it will rear it's pretty little head and make me swoon. Then someone sits too close or touches the other and it is all downhill from there.

5 Minutes for Mom is looking for photos that tell some sort of story of what motherhood means to you. They could be shots of you with your kids, your kids, you own mother, whatever you want. Check out their sire for more info.

Friday, April 25, 2008

flashback - a dingo ate my baby and then i ate the dingo

I was going to do a flashback to three years ago today and then realized that it was also Friday Flashback prompt day. So, instead of not doing one or the other - I decided to do both. I know you are oh so glad and on the edge of your seat with bated breath. Come with me as I flashback to three years ago today. You see, I was 8 months pregnant and the size of full grown hippo. Scoff as you may, the images that you are about to see are, or should I say were, larger then they appear.
Being the over achiever that I am I tend to go big. Ask me about my first son... I dare you! You will run away screaming and crying at the thought of pushing him out.... I know you will! Thus the long expansion of time between my two boys. There was a lot of convincing involved to get this girl to, open up shall we say, to the idea of birthing again. Young children would run and quiver behind their mothers when they saw pregnant me coming towards them. Now, the picture you are viewing is of me at 35 weeks with an 80 pound belly. Honest. I put on 80 pounds and it was all in my belly. Ok, there was a good distribution to my arse as well, but it was not highlighted until after my son was born and the atrocity in the front shrunk. So for now I will claim that it was all belly weight. The picture was taken the night they began to induce me. My liver obviously did not like being squished out of the way by little, (fat chubby monkey) Grady and was revolting. It disliked him so much that it was deciding to shut down. Oh yes, great fun. So off to the hospital we went to save me and the monster child. And thankfully so because even at just over five weeks early he was 8 lb 10 oz. Did you know babies gain at least a pound a week that last month of pregnancy? Do the math... it would have been UGLY. Ugly like my first child. Come on, that dare is still out there...

So tomorrow is the big third birthday. A little fun to take my mind off the impending doom of next week. We have been practicing showing three fingers instead of two when someone asks how old he is. Maybe by tomorrow he will have it down but knowing him he just won't care!

friday flashback - aliens, ghosts and trolls, oh my!

Woo hoo, it is finally Friday!! Which means yet another installment of the Friday Flashback. I will actually be posting two Friday Flashback - cause that is how I roll - reminiscing about my perversely deformed body three years ago. Believe me the pictures will scare you and have not been approved for those under 18. With that said this weeks prompt is "What was the first movie you ever saw? What was your first notable movie memory? And what effect did it have on you?"

The first movie I saw in the theaters was E.T. I love that movie and will still watch it when it is played on television. I still have my original video cassette but alas, nothing to watch it on. Well, technically I could watch it in the playroom on the old and dying VCR but I am terrified it may eat the movie. Yes, I too find it quite strange that I have such a weird affection for an old video when I could easily go out and buy the DVD. I remember being so excited to finally see a 'real' movie in the theaters. I remember having candy and crying when the astronaut like beings wheeled him off because they thought E.T. was dead. I also heart Drew Barrymore in that movie. sigh...

The movie "Cats Eye" by Stephen King (also with Drew Barrymore) is one that haunts me to this day. Truly - I hear things in the walls and think it is that God forsaken troll. The number of nights sleep I lost because of this movie is frightening. It did not help matters that I grew up in a century home with crawl spaces. One of the crawl spaces was in the back of my closet. I HATE that crawl space. I would pile boxes, toys, anything I could find, in front of it and still the door would pop open. I was, and am, convinced that there were things in there. I will still, to this day, have nightmares about that frickin door. Gaaawww... I HATE that door. I am so happy my parents moved and I don't ever have to sleep in that room again! Curse you Stephen King!! Mamalogues mentioned how she was traumatized by Poltergeist - ya! That movie was SCARY and I refuse to ever watch that movie again. The whole rope through the ceiling freaks me out. When we built our house a few years ago - by a little cemetery - I made sure I was there when they dug the hole to make sure NOTHING was unearthed. Crazy how certain things warp you for life.

And on the lighter and fluffier side there is Dirty Dancing. I know, I know...I hear you internet. But there is something about that movie that got this small town girl's heart. I will watch this EVERY time it is on television but only if my husband is not home. Heck, I will even sneak to watch it when he is home. Ask him what movie he dislikes most and THAT is the one he will tell you. I remember buying the sound track and singing the songs with my friends. I remember renting it one night with my BFF and watching it while she was babysitting. Sigh... Yes, I still love that movie. Nobody puts Baby in the corner!!

Please join in! As usual copy the list of participants and add it to the bottom of your post -- and don't forget to add yourself!
For more posts on the “Something about movies when I was a kid…” theme, click these fine divas...
Her Bad Mother
Oh The Joys
Izzy Mom
Mrs. Flinger

Thursday, April 24, 2008

gotta brag - part duex

While perusing the mail when I got home I noticed a letter from one of our Wisconsin State Senators addressed to Drake. I began my internal ranting about the lack of intelligence held by our government campaign offices and their ability to distinguish adults from children. Who sends campaign materials to a child and more importantly, how did they get his name? For some strange reason I was intrigued and opened the letter instead of tearing it in half and recycling it with the rest of the junk mail. What I found shocked me. It was a hand written letter from our State Senator, Mary Lazich, regarding Drake's science experiment that made the paper. ( She even cut out the article and included it in the letter. Talk about eating my words, or shall I say vicious thoughts?! I became very sad about my first reactions and that I opened Drake's special letter. Hubby was also taken aback and vowed to vote for her every time she ran. Who send things like that in this day and age and with a personally cut out article? I gave the letter to Drake and apologized for opening his mail. He was very excited that someone 'of power' would write to him. He was beaming from ear to ear when we explained who she was and what she does for our state. To Senator Lazich – thank you very much. You made the day of an eight year old and taught this mother that there are still people out there that take the time to recognize the actions and events of our youth.

danger will robinson, danger!

We are officially at one week and counting for Grady's surgery. Yes, that is right, he is having his surgery on May 1st. 'May day! May day! Mother down in recovery room three!' Kind of over dramatic I know, but truly, I am beginning to see a lot of warning signs. For example, on Tuesday I was working with a little boy in my office and he was so excited, (a little too much if you ask me), to show me the new bracelet his mom had gotten him. "Look! It's reversible. I have to make sure you can see this red part though cause it's a medical bracelet." "Oh really?? What for?" "Because I almost died this summer getting my tonsils out. I stopped breathing and everything! So now I have to wear this in case I have to go to the hospital again." This is when I casually ask the little boy if I can further inspect his bracelet so I can see (and research) what disorder he has, how many kids have it and how many more panic attacks I need to have before next week. Can you see the need for Paxil yet?? What does a girl have to do to get her hands on some of that? I am also extremely stressed by the fact that I do not know what time Grady's surgery is and what I am going to do with Drake. My neighbor has offered to take him but I can't give her any sort of timeline or expectation. Plus, I have the whole 'emotional Drake' issue. Add that to psychotic mother issues and you can see why my husband wants to run for the hills! I even contemplated bringing Drake with us but quickly decided against it. Hubby thought we should keep his day as normal as possible, especially since I will not be in any condition to field Drake’s never ending stream of questions. So till next Wednesday, we are in limbo. The nurse told us they would call sometime Wednesday evening to give us our surgery time. Seriously... You won’t have any idea until then? I find that difficult to wrap my brain around. This Momma has got to plan. Can’t they see that this uncertainty is adding to the chaos and anxiety that is swarming my brain?!? I should also take this time to warn you that I am sure the sanity level of my blogs will severely drop in the next few days. Hope you can all tolerate the insanity and garbled mess that I may, or may not, be typing. Till then I think I may just have to subdue myself with coffee and chocolate. Starbucks anyone??

Monday, April 21, 2008

birthday madness

This past weekend was birthday bash weekend. We celebrated both boys birthdays with one big party! Ok, it wasn't really that big and due to my laziness and lack of planning it just happened that way. One of my traditions is to make 'special' cakes. Silly me started this tradition when it was just Drake and it was easy to do. But now there is Grady...sigh. And he just had to come five weeks early so it threw a wrench in my ultimate plan. If Grady came closer to his due date then there would be a good six weeks between the boys' birthdays, but he has never been one for convenience. So now their birthdays are a week apart and I think they will always be lumped together from this day forward.
That said, I still try and do 'special' cakes. The elaborateness (yes that is a word) is not what it used to be but the thought and love is still there. Really, it is. So much so this year that I bought plastic cake toppers. Sad and pathetic I know... I am really working on my Bad Mommy Stars. I think I may run for president of the group. Thankfully my boys are easily amused and loved their cakes. Drake liked his because he could use is Tec Deck guys on the ramp. He said it was like getting a free toy - hello?! Isn't that what birthdays are about?? Score one for me.
Grady caught sight of his cake and started flapping and squealing. It was quite scary to watch. You see, he is obsessed with trains. Some of you know my feelings about trains and that I prohibited them from my house when Drake was growing up. I have not been so lucky with Grady. So when he caught sight of his little Thomas the Train cake, it started a flapping frenzy. I am happy to say that each boy was happy with my cop-out cakes. Maybe next year I will be more motivated to create cake masterpieces, but knowing my score card, probably not.

* Blogger is being a pain in my ass and not letting me upload pictures - damn!! As soon as it is done having a hissy fit I will add the pictures that go with the post. They are quite fab I must say!

** Finally got the pictures added but my Blogger was still not very friendly about the matter. Grrrrr

Friday, April 18, 2008

friday flashback - dirty little secret

Friday Flashback prompt this week: What memory/story from your youth (or childhood) - if any - would you never share with your own children? Why? And if there's nothing from your history that you wouldn't have them know, why is that? (Note, as always, that you can play around with this - is there some story that you want them to know, but only when they're much older? Something you'll only share when/if they ask?)

Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive. This quote is the first thing that popped in my head when I read the Friday Flashback prompt for this week. Sadly, I feel, the possibilities are endless. There are so many things I would not like my children to know, but each one for different reasons. Maybe it is because of their youth right now that I want to remain a star in their eyes. A wonderful mother and role model that they can look up to - yeah I know I am sooo dreaming here. I have my plethora of bad mommy stars proudly displayed in a well lit trophy case as proof that this is an extremely large pipe dream.

There are many things from my past that I am not proud of - many mistakes made - many, MANY stupid mistakes. But all of those stumbles and mistakes have made me who I am today. It has been a long and trying road, but God has continually been good to me, and for that I am grateful. I am especially grateful because not once, but twice as a teen I tried to quickly end the pain of my youth. Obviously, I failed both times, but the scar from the first one remains as a reminder. It goes unnoticed by many in my day to day activities, but it will catch my eye from time to time. Days like today, Drake's birthday, make me take a second glance. What if.....? I would have missed out on all the wonderful things my boys have to offer me. And as much as I write about the follies of my attempts at parenting and their attempts at driving me crazy, I love them like no other. This occurrence in my life is one that I do not want to share with them and hope, that as a mother, I am never faced with.

As always, check out the other lovely divas participating in this weeks FF - Mamalogues, Her Bad Mother, Mrs. Flinger. And of course, because I still can't figure out how to auto link them with my Mac, you can find their links in my blogroll for your viewing pleasure!

gr8 2b 8

Today you turn eight and I am once again faced with the fact that you are growing up faster then I would like you to. Your father pointed out this morning that you were half way to driving. Please disregard the nasty words I directed at him after that comment, I was a little deranged at the time. Oh and by the way - that was totally a love tap, no harm no foul! I love watching you grow up but secretly hate it too. You can still woo me with those eyes of blue to make you a jelly sandwich with EXTRA jelly for your lunch even though deep down I know that it has no nutritional value and that it will send you off to recess on an extreme sugar high.
I remember when you thought I was everything and the world revolved around me. (hello - who shouldn't!) You would cry when I left and run at me with such ferocity when I came back. I loved that you were my partner in crime and you sought me for worldly advice.
Your innocence and curiosity has always amazed me. You are always investigating something or another. We stumbled through a lot of firsts with me making many mistakes along the way. Hopefully the therapy bills will not be too pricey!

Your sense of humor and silliness always makes me laugh. I often forget because of your 'grown up' tendencies that you are still a child. A child who was so excited because today, you got to use the maracas in music class because it was your birthday. And those eye patches - oh how you loved your pirate patches!! Good thing because you had to wear them FOREVER!!! Your dissertation to other young children as to why you had to wear them over your eye got me every time. Unfortunately they got lost after the first sentence, but nodded along with what you said anyway.

Now you are independent and off doing boy things. Football, skateboarding, snowboarding - what happened to trucks and blocks? How did that time slip through my fingers so quickly? What happened to the chubby faced baby I held in my arms just moments ago. As the time goes on I wonder about what the future holds for you and if you will still be 'you' as a man. And even with all this uncertainty I am enthralled with how you continue to evolve into your own little being. Happy birthday Drakers!!

Thursday, April 17, 2008

reconnected to an old favorite

I love this song and had lost it for quite some time. Every time I hear it it reminds me of Drake. Don't ask me why, don't ask me how, it just does. Since tomorrow is the big birthday, I thought I would do a little video prelude. Enjoy!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

who doesn't love a nerd?

What do you get when you invite a science nerd to a birthday party? Why a rather large toothpick and marshmallow building of course! I give props to the mom who thought this would be a fun party game because, with a bunch of second grade boys, this activity could go very, very wrong. Thankfully it didn't end like this -

The object of the game was to see who could build the tallest tower/ building. Ok, yes, I will admit that Drake won and that I secretly did the 'oh yeah' with an arm pump when the mother told me. Sorry - no matter how hard I try my competitive nature still over powers me. Drake was beaming and then began to describe, at length, why his was the tallest and what mechanical infrastructures he used so it would be sturdy as it got taller. Where did this kid come from??? Oh that's right... he's a mini-me. I do have to say his plan was well thought out. He did reinforce the lower levels with multiple layers if toothpicks.

When I joked with the mom that it's structural stability will soon be put to the test by Grady Godzilla, Drake's eyes bulged. I could see the tears forming and a breakdown in the making. "Don't worry sweetie. We'll hide it from your brother." A unconvinced nod followed and I decided it was time to exit - stage left. Thankfully Grady was asleep when we got home so Drake got to show off his creation to Dad without fear of brotherly repercussions. Now I just have to figure out what to do with it before spring hits in full force. For now it is atop of my refrigerator but I'm thinking it is going to be a ginormous bug magnet. Ideas?

** As a side note, hubby finally finished the backsplash but the tools are still on my dryer!!

Sunday, April 13, 2008

good versus evil

It has been an amazing two weekends in our home. The Spike channel has been having a Star Wars movie-a-thon. Every night they play a different movie, in chronological order no less!! Last weekend it was episodes I-III and this weekend it was IV-VI. While sitting watching Episode I - The Phantom Menace, I got a true glimpse of my boys. It was a scary reality but one that could not be more crystal clear. Grady is on one side of me chanting "Go bad guy!! Get em Darth Maul! When is he coming on again? I want Vader!! Ooooo, he in all black. He scary bad guy Momma. I like him!" Drake is on the other side, "I like little Anakin, he makes me smile. Oooo, the pod race! I love this part, especially when he wins and get to go to Jedi school. Isn't he lucky?" Yes it is true. I am a member of the senate, sitting between the forces of good and evil. There is no hope for my young Jedi knight - he has already turned to the dark side. He also made this extremely evident today when we tried to peel the three day old Darth Vader shirt off his body to go to church. (I do change the shirt underneath but Vader is always on top). I finally convinced him that Vader needed a tubby and he could put him back on again once he was out of the dryer. Poor thing stood there waiting for the buzzer to go off all afternoon! Drake and all that goodness embodies is left to battle the forces of evil. Guess I had better make sure there are fresh batteries in the light sabers!!

*** For all you Star Wars junkies Spike is playing a different episode every Sunday night - aka - Star Wars Sundays

Friday, April 11, 2008

friday flashback - prom nightmares revisited

Prom or not to prom... that is the question. Or at least the question for this week's rendition of the Flashback Friday. This stirred up many memories, some good, some bad and some ugly (and not just my dress!) Let us take a journey back in time.....

I dated the same boy through most of my high school career. We met while working at the local Phar Mor so he went to a different school. It was kind cool to date a guy that went to another school back then, maybe it still is. Anyway, he was a year older so I got to go to prom as a sophomore at his school, this was the good year. At my podunk school you could only go to prom as a junior or senior. My first prom was not eventful - bad dress, bad hair, that's about it. My parents wouldn't let me go to any after prom parties or the post prom trip the next day to Cedar Point. So all in all, very boring.

Flash forward to my junior year, this would be the ugly year. We had made plans to go to his prom since he was a senior. I got the dress, he bought the tickets and then, well how can I put this.... I got grounded. Here is how it all went down. While stopping at a local seven eleven to purchase some beer for a party, I got busted. And not just a little busted - BIG time busted. The FBI was doing an undercover investigation and raid on this place for selling to all the local teenagers. I went in with my boyfriend's best friend, he grabbed the case of beer, handed me the money and I paid for it. Because I am the one who handed over the money I was the one that got in trouble. Hell, it wasn't even my money let alone beer! Bummer. Needless to say when we got pulled over by the FBI I was beyond hysterical. The agent told me I was going to have to go home and tell my parents (cruel SOB). Long story short - he called my parents, they wigged out and threatened to send me to boarding school and grounded me till eternity. After much pleading by my boyfriend and because he was not with me when it happened, they let me go to prom with him but no after prom. I was asked to my school's prom by the 'prom king' (as friend's) and had to say no. Another bummer.

The bad year - It is now my senior year and my previous boyfriend and I were on a break. Think of the Friend's episode and that about sums it up. We were dating other people and I was asked by my physics lab partner, Andy. We were going to double with my BFF and her boyfriend so it should be a lot of fun. What I also need to mention is that I was somewhat dating this guy, if you can call it that, I met skiing in New York. We would write and call each other blah blah blah. On the weekends he would drive to my town and take me out to dinner or a movie. Nothing majorly serious in my eyes - he obviously had a different idea. Well this guy turned into psycho stalker guy. He found out I was going to prom with my friend and freaked out. He called my friend and cursed at him. He even threatened to hit him in the knees with a baseball bat. I found this funny since Andy was a big guy and was part of the defensive line of our football team. Andy, on the other hand, did not take it well. He was upset and angry. He said if I didn't want to go with him all I had to do was tell him. I felt horrible as I had no idea all this was going on. I told him I DID want to go with him and that is why I said yes. Drama, drama, drama. I still feel like crap about that whole scenario to this day. Andy if you are out there - I am oh so sorry. Please forgive me!!

So there you are. I will hunt for pictures to add to this post later. I will have to scan them and I just can't do that from work. I do remember wearing men's boxers under our dresses and flashing people at the prom our senior year. Oh to be young again!

Don't forget to check out Mamalogues, Oh the Joys and Mrs Flinger's posts!! And be sure to add your own and leave a link in the comments.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

overcoming the playdate barrier

I just got back from Grady's first 'official' play date. ( Jes - you know you and Jen are the true first, but the kids started playing when they were only a few months old) Grady has been hounding me to play with a little boy, L, in his class for months. When I pick him up from school he and L double team me asking when they get to go to each others house. I sent my number home with L and waited for the phone call. Thankfully L's Mom did not wait to long and the boys were able to get together today at the local Mc Donald's play land. Me, being the shy wallflower that I am , was terrified to have to sit and talk with someone I have only seen occasionally in passing as I was packing up Grady's backpack and forcing him into his coat (not any of my highest moments by far). I am not your typical Martha Stewart mother so I feel a little self conscious at times about my wild side and hope others don't view it as lackadaisical parenting. She just had a baby so I got to coo over a little 7 pound bundle of pinkness so it was easy to break the ice. Then came the questions - yikes! Luckily her son is as demonic as mine. We shared stories of the different non-food item things they have eaten, their tantrum skills and lack of daily enthusiasm to use the toilet. With the boys running around and updating us on their monster attacks in the play dome the time went by rather quickly. She extended an invitation to have us over for another play date in their backyard. I smiled and accepted but was put back on the defensive worrying about that future date. But again I have made something that is not about me about me. The play date was about Grady and expanding his friendships beyond his immediate family. Guess I will worry about the play date after his surgery. I can only handle so much stress in one given week!

Monday, April 07, 2008

under the knife

I found out today that my little Grady monster needs to have surgery. I have known this was an extreme possibility for a while now but have avoided talking or thinking about it in hopes that it would go away. I know, denial is not just a river in Egypt, but it has been a nice place to visit for quite some time now. Now before you get your internet selves worked up into a tizzy, oh wait - that is just me, he just has to have his adenoids removed and tubes put in his ears. (JCR - I know you are feeling me here) I also know that millions of kids have tubes and undergo this surgery everyday, yada yada yada. BUT, they aren't my kid. I was Ok with having the tubes and was prepared for that outcome. After the winter my poor little guy has had I think I would have begged for it. It was the 'adenoid removal' part I was not expecting. When he said those words I instantly had flashbacks and balled myself up in the fetal position in the corner of the examination room. That may be a little extreme and I surely would have done it if Grady's ENT was not a super hottie!!

I thanked his pediatrician the last time we were there for recommended the orthopedic she did because he was so cute. She laughed and agreed. I will have to thank her again for the ENT eye candy! John laughs at me every time as I get dolled up for Grady's appointments.

J- "You do remember I am coming with you right?"
K- "What, oh yeah, I know honey."
J- "You do remember we are going about OUR child?"
K- "Yes I know."
J- "And he IS married."
K- "Yeah, yeah. You're killin' me here. Can't a girl dream?? You sure you don't need to take that conference call or something??"

Talk about tangent - sorry! Back to me in the fetal position - oh yes, it is all coming back to me now. I was six years old and had to have my tonsils and adenoids removed. My parents sugar coated it and said everything was going to be fine and I was going to feel great afterwards. Heck, they promised me a week of ice cream to dull the pain. And it was all fine and dandy until little miss 'nurse in training' came in and tried to get blood from my arm. She missed, not once, not twice but four fricking times. On the fourth try she broke the needle in my arm and all hara-kiri broke loose. It was an ugly scene. "Will the parents of blah blah please come to room 103 IMEDIATELY!!" bellowed the intercom. You can imagine their proud parent moment when they walked in to see their beloved six year old daughter strapped to a bed, screaming bloody murder and being held down by four nurses and a doctor. They finally rolled me over and sedated me in my arse to calm me down and draw blood. Thus my immense fear of needles was born. (not tattoo needles mind you, just the kind that draw blood) The hospital was then dumb enough to put me in a secluded recovery room so when I came to, still strapped to the bed, no one was there. I was scared and the screaming began again. Think Linda Blair in 'The Exorcist' screaming.

Yep, that was me. So since that day I have passed out every time I have had blood drawn. I always prep the nurses and warn them that I will faint and usually they will oblige and allow me to lay down while they do IT. Sometimes, if I use my pouty eyes, they will even use a pediatric needle. I know - I am pathetic. But there always is one that thinks you are exaggerating. She stopped thinking that when I took out her cart and face planted on the floor in front of three other patients. I showed her and had a shiner to prove it!!

And that leads me to today and Grady and his forthcoming surgery. I know what is in store for him and I am terrified. I will have to go with him that day but know I will be a walking freak show. Children's Hospital - I apologize ahead of time. Any chance you can slip me some more of that sedative???

Saturday, April 05, 2008

signs of spring

I was so excited to see this brave little crocus attempt to bloom. While we have not experienced a heat wave, obviously this little guy was bound and determined to make it spring in Wisconsin.

Spring also means sidewalk chalk. Dusty hands and pants is a sure sign that the snow is gone and the sun is shining.

Nothing says all that is warm and fuzzy like a Mike's Hard Lemonade. It is a tasty treat I like to enjoy while playing with, or shall I say chasing, the boys. A precursor, shall we say, to what the evening may have in store.

I was luckily enough to experience all three today - making it a wonderful first day of spring in the Midwest.

Friday, April 04, 2008

infuriated lassie on a rampage

Lady Dragons you strike again. When I thought you could go no lower you proved me wrong. Filing a grievance was quite malicious even for a team so despicable. That, my dear girls, is stooping down into the bowels of bad gamemanship. I do however find it oh so ironic that you wait until Friday to file your complaint when the game was almost a week ago. Even more intriguing is that your stats show you to be 0-5. Hmmm, can't seem to get a win eh? Have to resort to fighting dirty and without just cause? The referees comments and insights about the so called 'incidences' were not enough? He claimed we played an extremely fair game. Why do you question skill? We, as a team, do not anger easily but I should give you some fair warning. My suggestion to you is to start rubbing elbows with the scheduler because out next meeting will not be so pretty.

I will take much joy in dancing around those slayed dragons! Mooo ah ha ha

Thursday, April 03, 2008

new love and pregnacy??

First off I have to say I have a new love in my life. This new love actually lifted my spirits this morning. Let me preface with a little background. I have been sitting on the fence for quite some time about purchasing an expensive flat iron. How do I explain dropping $150 for a flat iron to my husband? And, will it actually work better then my cheapo one from Target? Ponder, ponder, ponder. So when my co-worker offered up hers - I jumped right on it. Let me tell you it is divine. It worked its magic in no time flat, left my hair super soft and silky and sold me with its first hello. Thankfully my husband could tell the difference even though I pointed out all the wonderful things it did for my hair, etc. I think he is sold. Nothing like a new purchase to lift a girl’s spirits!

I am also quite intrigue (and excited) to watch Oprah today. Typically the afternoons are pure mayhem in my house and there is no casual television watching of any kind. But my tivo will be is full force today. I read that she was having a pregnant man on her show and quickly set the timer. Yes that is right, a pregnant man. His wife had a hysterectomy and cannot have children. Thomas Beatie, a transgender male became pregnant so they could have a family. Definitely something I will watch after the boys go to bed though. Million-question boy would be in full form if he watched any of that show!!

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

sad little lassie

This is what I was doing this time last week. Well, not exactly at this exact moment - don't want the world to know that I start my mornings with a bottle of Merlot. But somewhere in the week ago time continuum I was out East. Because of this I am now suffering from post east coast blues. You will be proud to know that I did manage to stay positive during the trip but could not shake the nagging feeling in the back of my brain that we weren't moving there this summer. Every time I look out my Midwestern window I grimace. Thankfully I don't have any windows in my office or I would have a sour puss face all day. I can hear my grandmother now, "Your face is going to freeze like that!" It also doesn't help matters that hubby wanted to look at houses and towns - 'for future reference'. I am about ready to tell him where to shove his future references. Last Sunday was the worst and I refused to talk to anyone all day. This might explain my lack of tolerance noted in the previous post..... or not. They really were worse then I stated. But I digress, this is in fact about me and my lack of happiness at this very moment. I am also pouty because I do not know how long it will be till I see BFF again. being as she is now laden down with two little ones, it hampers her ability to up and travel to Wisconsin without hauling half of her life possessions with her. Grrrr, growl, sigh and stomp. Damn you housing market!! Ok, I guess I am done with my hissy fit - for now. I might as well enjoy the brief glimpse of sunlight that is trickling through the dreary spring clouds today and step down from my negative soapbox. Maybe my Vermont Maple coffee will do the trick.