back to mom - a new definition of a quite foreign phrase

With the kids back in school you would think this would be the most opportune time to take back some time for me, the mom. I am sad to say that this is so not the case. Back to school also means back to work and even worse, back to schedules. Where is the time for me??? With crazy schedules it always seems as though I am last on the list. Because of that, last winter I packed on 15 pounds. Yikes!! Because all my pants were too tight I was left sporting the oh so not fashionable muffin top. Be afraid, be very afraid. But wait... do you hear that?

Da da dum.... it is hubby to the rescue!! Now I will take this opportunity to mention that I did try to get hubby to pose for a quick picture in tights and a cape but my begging and pleading fell on def ears. Well not actually, but I am trying to keep this PG so I can't get into all the gorey details! So for now, this generic picture of Superman will have to do! When hubby got a new job and started working from home he decided it would be worthwhile to finally join a gym.

Me: Do you promise to watch the kids so I can go too??
Hubby: Yes. I will go on my lunch hour and you can go after work.
Me: So, you won't give me a hard time when I want to go?
Hubby: Nope.
Me: Excellent!! Sign us up!

So hubby signed us up. It went really well for a while. Then of course summer hit, the kids were home and there just didn't always seem to be enough time to do all the stuff I wanted too. I joined the Tweightloss Challenge in hopes to have others, on the same journey, hold me accountable. It has been an amazing experience. I am happy to say that I am eight pounds down with aspirations to loose another six. I have a feeling these last few will be the death of me. Cold weather is creeping in and that means snuggley nights on the couch. The couch also equals snacking. I really love to partake in a snack on the couch while I unwind after a long day. Hubby also snacks on the couch so the temptation is always there... munching next to me. I should also mention that I am going to Cancun in a month and would like must be swim suit ready. So this week I am back on the horse, eating healthy and hitting the gym. With a few set backs here and there I am really trying making an extra effort to take time for me because if Momma isn't happy (and healthy) then nobody is happy!!

How do you take time for yourself? I am always looking for new ideas!

weekend wrap up

Well, nothing like a weekend to remind you of the true meaning of fall in Wisconsin - football, rain, more football and of course... more rain. Drake had his second game of the season on Saturday in a torrential down pour. Like any good mother, I stood, trying to wrangle Grady away from the looming puddles, while watching 20 boys running and tackling each other through sleeting rain. The boys had fun and looked like little mud monsters when they were done. Nothing beats getting tackled in a HUGE mud puddle, and no I am not talking about Grady! I had the good fortune of having my soccer game cancelled on Sunday thus preventing me from a puddle jumping extravaganza. Believe me, there is nothing worse then the smell of soaking wet soccer cleats!!

This weekend also marked a painful loss for the Buckeyes. They obviously did not get the memo about the game on Saturday night. I can't even believe I stayed up to watch most of it. Thinking of the game still pains me. HELLO!! It was suppose to be their time to shine... sigh. No such luck.

Speaking of getting demolished - my childhood house got smooshed this weekend by one of the huge trees in our yard. It makes me so sad to see my old house that way and to think that huge tree is gone. Thankfully no one was hurt but I can't imagine the cost that is going to be involved in trying to fix a century home.

On a happy note, Drake finally got his new glasses. the first pair of glasses made him look like a bug. No seriously, they did. Hubby tried to surprise me by taking Drake to pick them up a few weeks ago. When I walked in the door from work I could not hide my horror. This is what I saw: Scary isn't it?? I feel bad because I think I actually shrieked at the sight of him then had to back peddle because I hurt his feelings. Slap another Bad Mommy Star on the mantle boys and girls! I returned those glasses and out we went to search for new ones. I have not had a chance to snap a picture of his new specs but they are quite dashing. Maybe once he finally pulls out his front tooth that has been loose for months... But that is another story for another day!

who will come and visit me in the underworld?

There is nothing like being confronted by a barely 5 foot tall elderly woman and accosted for your choice of body jewelry while dropping off you 3 year old at preschool. I suppose I should preface this little tidbit of information with some history or background shall we say. Grady goes to a Christian preschool, well with us being Christians and all. What!?! An Irish lass that is not Catholic? Let's just say, I am a recovering Catholic, among other things. I have had my fair share of guilt to last ten lifetimes believe me! Ok, back on track - so Grady goes to a nice all day Christian preschool with amazing teachers, most all well up in their years. They are strict but loving which is exactly what that little demon angel needs.

Well, while dropping off Grady the other day the sweet 70+ year old Mrs. S came to greet him. She always wears ankle length skirts and her silver hair in a bun. She is the epitome of the church lady. "Oh my and how is my Grady today?" When I began to answer how he actually left the house today without a temper tantrum because I told him he could throw water at his teachers, well with it being water day and all, she abruptly stopped me with a look of shock on her face. "Do you have something in your mouth??" "Um, yes. It's a tongue ring... I've had it forever. So I was saying, Grady...." "Did you get it for your..... husband?" **here is where I begin to stutter and blush uncontrollably** "Uh... well...no.. I mean...uh... I had it... but we don't.... yeah no, uh.. I just like it?." "Well now, God did not intend for you to put things in your tongue. He gave you a perfectly beautiful tongue, one not to be defaced." (perfect? I can, if I so choose, pick my nose with my long Gene Simmons like tongue. If this is perfect I am indeed terrified). "Ok then. Well have a great day!!" "I will pray for you and that you remove that... that thing!" (picture now me fleeing for the safety of my car, knocking down the other students in my attempt to regain the little composure I had left).

Now, under different circumstances I really think I would have come back with some sort of sassy quip of sorts. But really, it was 7 in the morning and I had but only one sip of my morning brew. I will also say she is a very nice lady and that Grady is very fond of her. I will also say that I am very liberal but do have the same base beliefs that she does, I just don't feel that I have to wear long shirts and my hair in a bun.

After some thought I did come up with this, "Well, this is just my earthly vessel and we both know it doesn't come with us!". So now I throw this out to you, oh Internet. What would your response have been? Don't be shy and help a lassie out!

end of an era

Today marks the end of the baby era in this lassie's abode. In the last months we have conquered potty training and embraced our big boy skivies with open arms. Plus my wallet is enjoying the extra padding from not having to buy them anymore - can I get an Amen? Yeah, I thought I could. Our next step was the big boy bed. Grady has been sleeping on a mattress on the floor for about a month now. It was time to make it official. So today, after a 7 hour fishing excursion (GRRRR), hubby took the crib down and put the bottom part of the bunk bed together. The crib was officially moved it to the basement. Sigh.... Grady is now there napping peacefully. (in his bed not in the basement!!)

While I am glad to be done, part of me is still sad. There will be no more babies, no more cribs, no more diapers - wait a minute, that is a good point! I am happy with our boys and shudder at the thought of being pregnant again. Wooo, mental flashback. Now I have the cold sweats! I am happy to be at this stage of my life, most of the time. I do know that my desire to have another biological child has passed. Now adoption... that is always an option!! But things in our life need to settle a little more before we possibly voyage down that road. Grady is quite the handful and Drake has just entered the world of sports and games. Our life is busy enough and I think I have enough to try and handle.

So for now I will enjoy my lighter loads when I leave the house, trade in my diaper bag for a cute little purse and offer to hold any little baby that passes in front of my open arms. Because really, is there anything that smells better?

poppin' cherries galore

It has been a fun filled week of firsts in my humble abode. First and foremost, the lassie is back with a new and improved lap top. I have been without one for the past three days. This new one is so pretty and shiney. It even has a camera... watch out world - girl with gadgets on the loose! It has Intel or runs Intel, whatever or whichever, it runs. AND for the first time I have (or can see) all the stuff that is supposed to be on the top of my blog post box. Before I just had the pictures for spell check and to add a photo and NOTHING else. No wonder I was so confused by Bloggers directions for things - I couldn't see the tabs they wanted me to push. The blogging world is now a better place! sigh.....

As for Drake, well his first is not so good. Yesterday he brought home his first white slip from the principal. Guess my little friend got written up on the bus for standing and had to have a pow wow with the principal. He was terrified to give it to me - can't see why - cough cough. I guess if he is going to get sent to the principal's office I would prefer improper bus etiquette over beating the crap out of some kid.... oh wait, this is Drake. Yeah yeah, I don't see that happening either.

Grady on the other hand can finally hear thanks to his new tubes. We sat and watch a whole episode of Go Diego Go together. I know, it's a super Mommy Star moment. His face lit up when he heard Diego say "Clap with me!!" "Momma! Clap with Diego!" I had not realized until this moment how much he really was not hearing. I assumed that he didn't sit and watch television shows because he was two and didn't like to sit still. Nope - it was because he couldn't always hear them. pout pout Poor little guy. He was a totally different kid watching this show although I am sure that now I will have a TV junkie on my hands. It was at this same time five years ago we figured out Drake couldn't see. Wonder what it is about turning three in our house? You turn three and we find out something is wrong with you....hmmmm. Good thing WE are done reproducing! I will state that while Grady can now hear, his listening skills have not improved. Guess beggers can't be choosers!

and the chickens say cluck

As many of you are well aware, Grady had his adenoids removed and tubes put in last week. Well, Mother Nature decided to kick a kid while he was down and then point and laugh.... bitch. Why the anger you ask? Because Friday Grady was diagnosed with Hand Foot Mouth Disease. So along with having a sore throat from the adenoids and pain in his ears from the tubes, he was now erupting in blisters on his hands, face and bottom. He was OH so pretty to say the least and just a bundle of happiness and joy. I was begging my husband to ram pencils in my ears so the whining would stop. PLEASE make it stop!! Then to top it off, the older one, we think, also got a form of it. He had the fever and said his mouth and throat hurt but nothing else. It was so fun at our house.....barf.

Because everyone was napping on Saturday I took the opportunity and began the process of cleaning out the basement. As I was I found a hug box of old children's books. Knowing that my neighbor was collecting them for a charity I called and offered to drop them off instead of selling them in my garage sale. Well, trying to be "a nice" person bit me in the arse. We partook in the common small talk and she asked how the boys were. I told her about Grady's surgery and that he also had HFM, not thinking much about it. Silly, silly me! I should remember that my neighborhood is like a bad replay of high school. We have cliques, back stabbing, the works! And of course, with me being as (different, non-conformist, punk, not barbie) as I am, I keep to myself and try to stay away from all that is high school. Obviously my comment about Grady having HFM sent the chickens a clucking. The phone lines were burning and the whispers were going. A few of the mothers had their kids scope Drake out at school to see if he was "infected". One had the audacity to call here and harass hubby saying their child saw Drake with a rash all over his face. Hmmm, NO. His face is just as pasty irish white as it always is - sorry Barbie! She then had the all out nerve to go HERE! Oh yeah, she did. She went on to imply that by sending Drake to school we were risking the lives of others but this was all I heard - cluck cluck cluck. The chickens in the hen house were quite worked up - I could see them running around clucking from one person to another. "Can you believe her??" ""Oh I know. SHE would do that. She does have tattoos you know..." "And those piercings!" Yep, I am sure that is about how it all went down. And to that I give my big one finger standing. Good thing it is Cinco de Mayo and hubby had the Modelo's chilled to perfection. Arrrreba!!

two times the lovin

Well some cool divas are entering the world of twos - and not soon enough according to some of them! The idea is to share your knowledge about the joys, and I mean JOYS, of having two - or three or four for that matter. You can check out the all legal schmegal HERE!

I do find it strangely ironic that I am going to spew advice to these kind ladies because most of the time, well, I have no idea of what I am doing - except going insane. I mean, recently there was the whole penis thing or the constant bickering over light sabers and match box cars. But then there are the fun times like playing rock-em sock-em robots and watching the older one teach the younger one how to hit a baseball. These are the moment I relish and try to draw upon when they are fighting over who gets to shut the garage door or eat the last Gogurt.

Going from one to two has also made me realize things about me that aren't pretty. Like my EXTREME lack of patience to whining, screaming and crying - of my own children. Wow! Where did that come from?? Not to toot my own horn - toot toot - but at work I have loads (butt loads to be exact) of patience. I have worked with handicapped and delayed children forever. I help them work through things that are difficult and challenging. I encourage them when they are crying and can tolerate their tears. I can even listen to their whining without batting an eye. BUT when it comes to my two - tolerance is absent most day, heck every day for that matter. So I guess this is where I would interject my world renowned advice - remember all the good and blog about all the bad - it makes for good material and helps the rest of us feel better!!

overcoming the playdate barrier

I just got back from Grady's first 'official' play date. ( Jes - you know you and Jen are the true first, but the kids started playing when they were only a few months old) Grady has been hounding me to play with a little boy, L, in his class for months. When I pick him up from school he and L double team me asking when they get to go to each others house. I sent my number home with L and waited for the phone call. Thankfully L's Mom did not wait to long and the boys were able to get together today at the local Mc Donald's play land. Me, being the shy wallflower that I am , was terrified to have to sit and talk with someone I have only seen occasionally in passing as I was packing up Grady's backpack and forcing him into his coat (not any of my highest moments by far). I am not your typical Martha Stewart mother so I feel a little self conscious at times about my wild side and hope others don't view it as lackadaisical parenting. She just had a baby so I got to coo over a little 7 pound bundle of pinkness so it was easy to break the ice. Then came the questions - yikes! Luckily her son is as demonic as mine. We shared stories of the different non-food item things they have eaten, their tantrum skills and lack of daily enthusiasm to use the toilet. With the boys running around and updating us on their monster attacks in the play dome the time went by rather quickly. She extended an invitation to have us over for another play date in their backyard. I smiled and accepted but was put back on the defensive worrying about that future date. But again I have made something that is not about me about me. The play date was about Grady and expanding his friendships beyond his immediate family. Guess I will worry about the play date after his surgery. I can only handle so much stress in one given week!

ramblings of a seven year old

These are the days I wish my son was not so quick on the uptake or as my husband says "spot on".

Drake: Mom, can I ask you a question?
Me: You just did.
D: Maaawwwwm, really.
M: Yes, go ahead.
D: Why is it funny, in the movie Cars, when the rusty cars are talking to Lightning McQueen about not having headlights, and he says he is a race cars and race cars don't have headlights because the race track is always lit and then one of the cars says "So is my brother but he still needs headlights". Why is that funny?
M: Uhhh, well, hmmm... it's adult humor.
D: Yeah but what does it mean? Why is it funny?
M: It's just adult humor. They put it in there so Moms and Dads will watch the movies with their kids. I just can't explain it. AND you are too young for me to explain it to. Any other questions?
D: (saddened) No, I just wanted to know why that was funny and you always laugh.

So after this discussion I realize that I probably didn't answer his question the right way and in fact, I do laugh every time I hear that quote for a multitude of reasons. It also leaves me speechless (yes, I know that is a first) as to how to answer these types of questions in the future without stumbling and stuttering like a bumbling fool. I could be honest but I am just not ready to go down that road yet, at least on this topic. Now, throw any sex or morality question my way and I can answer that pretty honestly. Although the whole "why don't you have a penis Mommy?" did backfire in my face on several occasions. Maybe I am just meant to stumble and stutter through their youth and learn from my mistakes. I am sure this conversation will not drastically change who he is and who he will become and may even help me answer Grady's questions when they come iin the future. Oh, who am I kidding?! He won't stop long enough to ponder movie quotes, if he ever stops at all!

it's official

Well it has officially happened. I have been labeled and marked a high maintenance parent. We all knew this time was coming. I mean, who could not see it with all my control issues, my knowledge and career in the schools and all the countless other anomalies that make me one of "them". I thought I was doing well with Drake's education route till I hit that first bump in the road in pre-school. His teacher tried to take on too many kids and was not teaching my kid everyday. She had the kids on a rotating learning schedule. I informed her I was not paying for a rotating learning schedule. I wanted my kid to be learning everyday - what a concept! So I pulled him and placed him into another pre-school. I loved, loved, LOVED this pre-school. So much so I placed Grady there. Drake thrived and wowed them with his keen wisdom and quirky smile. Then came kindergarten. Our district allows you to have a voice (or basically choose) your child's teacher. Oh, I am SO all over that. I grabbed my paperwork, did some snooping and requested his teacher. She challenged him and provided extra enrichment activities, Drake loved her and I was pleased. I followed this same path for first grade with the same outcome. You could even say I had a teacher crush. She wooed me, made me cry at every conferences and stroked my mommy ego with such a tender touch...sigh. I miss her so. She told me she would place Drake and I would not have to worry. We both had the same teacher in mind anyway, I didn't need to fill out the form. She convinced me to loosen the reins of control, to allow someone else to play with his destiny. So I submitted to her smile. Then it happened. The teacher we had "planned" got knocked up. The nerve! Hello?! Couldn't you wait till after you educated my son? So into the masses he was tossed to be distributed to a teacher I had no input on. Why was I not notified? Why wasn't I consulted? So that leads us to the here and now. His teacher this year has had me on edge for months. If it wasn't such a small school I would have had him pulled and placed in another room. I have had phone calls with the principal about his teacher's lack of teaching, her inability to differentiate and the fact that he comes home almost everyday telling me he is bored. This led to some biting backlash emails from his teacher and the super syrupy yet "I want to rip your eyes out" interactions during their class fieldtrip a few weeks ago. Then there was today. Drake had his spring conference today. A conference he was to lead. John and I went together with no intentions of confrontation and planned to enjoy Drake's time in the spotlight. But when we arrived we were quickly greeted by the teacher and the principal. Great! I know all about this. I have been on the other side of this table and made under-my-breath comments about over zealous parents and their crazy expectations and demands. I have now been labeled one of "them". It is a heart breaking day to know that I now have a high maintenance mom star on my child's school folder. Guess I can add that star to my never ending bad mommy star collection!

a boy of my own heart

Last night I realized, yet again, how much Drake is a mini version of me. There are days that this thought warms my heart and other days that it breaks it into pieces. We were watching the movie “Born Wild” about a boy who befriends a gorilla and becomes intent on setting her free in the wild. It was a great feel-good movie with a very tearful ending. After the movie was over Drake looked up at me and said, “Bet you can tell I really liked that movie by my eyes can’t you Mom?” Tears streamed down his cheeks as he looked up at me with his clear blue eyes. “Yes sweetheart…. I can tell.” He has inherited this trait from me. I cry during movies, EVERY episode of Grey’s Anatomy and even those sappy Hallmark commercials (they do me in every time). I cried when the boys started school, when Drake could not figure out how to ride a bike and when he got his first pair of glasses. I am as sensitive and romantic as they come, and now, so is he. I toy with whether this is a good thing or bad thing for him in this day in age. He is the most empathetic and sensitive person I have ever met. He can sense what others are feeling and is always trying to befriend and include the outcasts and loners on the playground. He has warmed the heart of every teacher he has had. Every year I hear how they will always remember him as “one of their favorites”. I know you are probably thinking… well this is every parents dream! What is wrong with you?? But the reality is, he is a boy. In middle school and high school I fear these traits will not serve him well. I fear he will be bullied, teased and put down. I fear those clear blue eyes will cloud over, his soft and caring heart will harden. Kids these days are mean, meaner then they were when I was in school. Or maybe, now that I am a parent I am more aware. I see how some of the boys in the neighborhood scoff at him because he isn’t as “athletic” as they are. He runs like Phoebe, from Friends, in Central Park, happy and carefree, like there is nothing better in the world at that moment. So far he has not noticed their looks, but I do. It takes everything in me to not shake those looks off their smug little faces. I also fear the day when he first falls in love because that also means his first heartbreak will soon follow. I know he will fall so hard and with such passion it will hurt. I know because he is me. I also know some day he will make a great husband, the best a girl could ask for. But the road to find that love will be long and hard, full of pain and heartbreak, for Drake as well as myself.

new obsession

Darn seven year old got a polar bear Webkin. He has been asking for one forever. Now I have become obsessed with taking care of the silly thing online. You have to feed it, play with it and of course, earn money to buy it things. We have been having a rough stretch at home with some issues concerning listening and attitude, so computer time has been almost extinct. Then he throws out...."What about Icey?? How will I feed him?" The tears begin to well up and I am forced to check on this bear every day and make sure he is healthy and fed. And unfortunately they have this cool game, very similar to Tetris, and a tile game that is just like Mah Jong. So here I sit, playing away on my lunch break, and avoiding all human contact. Just to ensure my son's pet polar bear is loved and, truth be told, so I can earn enough money to buy him a cool pirate bed or new home addition!! Darn kid...