backward slide

Well, the past four mornings have been filled with tears, screams and tantrums. No not me, well actually, I guess a little bit of me, but Grady. I thought we had overcome the pre-school hurdle when he hopped into pre-school on Monday. But Tuesday morning was quickly met with tears and screaming which ultimately resulted in one of the teachers prying his kicking and writhing body off of mine. This pattern has continued every morning this week. It sickens me to hear his screams through the doors as I try and quickly exit. It is even worse when I can still hear them, only slightly muffled, by the closing of the glass door in the front of the building. My heart sinks and I feel like “the bad Mom”. His teacher assures me it does not last long, though it's effects stay with me throughout the day. I restrain from calling to check on him, even though I am sure they would think I was a complete whack job if I did that. AND it is a K-8 school. I am sure they are busy and have better things to do then listen to the ramblings of a neurotic mother having one of her emotion breakdown days. The daily crying is amplified by my feelings of morose I am sure. I know he is fine throughout the day though am a bit worried by the fact that every day this week he has eaten little of his lunch according to his daily note page. Not to worry! I am quickly snapped back into sanity as soon as he comes home and his “true” self emerges. Like last night when he began wildly hitting his brother with a plastic golf club…yes, then I am ready to send him back to school kicking and screaming all the way!! Or when he wanted his brother to be done water coloring so they could race cars…. I am sure you can imagine the carnage of water and paint. Yes, these moments instantaneously flick me in the head and have me counting down the time till I can drop him off back at school.