saturday photo hunt - moi!

This week's theme is a picture of yourself. So here I am in Siberia!! No really, I am. This was about halfway through the trek up the mountain range. We stopped here to camp for the night. Not what you would expect to see in Siberia is it?

PhotoHunt

thoughts of a three year old

Here is the conversation I had with Grady in the car this morning. He was trying to convince me that he was now a girl and could take gymnastics but would be a boy when he played soccer.

Me: Grady, you make me laugh!
G: You make me laugh too Momma.... but not today.
M: Not today??
G: Nope. Just on Wednesdays, not today.

Geez, didn't realize that I was only funny one day a week. Talk about crushing my ego!

wordless wednesday - cause this is how vader rolls

tattoo tuesday - yes i have a tramp stamp

Since I have officially RSVP'd to Sunshine Tattoo Party I wanted to share one of my 'non' entry tats just for fun. This is my third tattoo and I got it with hubby ten years ago. It is a Celtic knot with the I-Ching symbol for "Great Strength" in the middle. Hubby has the same symbol, but in the Chinese script form, above one of his tats on his arm - ahhhh, I know. So sweet it makes you want to puke - blah! As the title says, this tat is on my lower back. Before my latest it had been my favorite. Maybe it is the sentimental reasons, maybe the location, I am not sure. It is not like I can see it everyday!

Got ink? Then head over and join in all the tattoo fun at Sunshine's party. Looks like there is going to be a large turn out so far. Hope to see you there! I will be the one consuming large amounts of beverages in the corner :)

do you hear the happy mailman?

Who doesn't love the happy mailman? That is what Grady calls the ice cream man. I can see the resemblance of the mail truck and the ice cream truck but it still makes me laugh every time he says it. "Mommy can we get something from the happy mailman?" Sure! I knew I had the extra change laying around from the garage sale last weekend so I grabbed a handful and waited on the curb. Obviously the happy mailman is functioning one level under the mofia because his prices were outrageous! Guess he is trying to pay for his gas, his mortgage and his vacation home. Nothing was under $3.00 - yikes! He made sure to comment that he and Grady both had on Spiderman shirts - creepy if you ask me, but it made Grady smile none the less. He also made it a point to tell Grady that he would be back next week. That gives me plenty of time to plan a way to avoid that darn truck. It is also making me wish we didn't get Grady those darn ear tubes because now he can hear everything!

photo hunt

Who doesn't love a photo hunt about shoes?? This lassie LUVS her some shoes, these being one of my favorites. They were a present from my boys for my birthday last year and I wear them any chance I can get. With summer coming - hopefully sooner rather then later - I won't have the chance to wear them. So they will remain tucked away in my closet till fall. Oh how I will miss them!

fence sitting

Yep, here I am contemplating life on the fence. New information and circumstance have arisen in the Barley situation. Many 'experts' have been consulted but no one can give us a definitive answer. The final comment is always "It is your choice". WTF is that?? I don't want it to be MY choice, I don't want to have to make this decision. Hubby is not cooperating on this one and wants it to be a joint effort - since when is marriage a joint effort? At least not in these conditions. Damn his equality!! I totally feel like a verse from a Rolling Stones song:

I'm just sittin' on a fence
You can say I got no sense
Trying to make up my mind
Really is too horrifying
So I'm sittin on a fence

As many of you know, or those of you that don't now you will, I live in the world of black and white. I am not and have not been a fan of grey. I have strong opinions and don't often falter from my grounds. My Dad even made that comment at my wedding in his speech, shocking since I never thought he noticed. I must be more obvious then I thought! I should also mention that the proverbial 'Life' has been throwing me quite a few curve balls as of late and I am just not sure how to handle all of them. Have I also mentioned that I suck at baseball?? Here I am swinging away and still stuck on home plate. Can't someone throw me a soccer ball? Along with this decision comes my issues with perfection. I have been dealing ignoring my perfectionistic qualities for years. I am aware that decisions made in real time are never perfect. That is why I don't like to make ones that I am not sure of, ones that may have consequences that I am not ready or willing to handle. But I also know that I am not doing anybody my husband any favors by sitting on the fence because I think he is just as much of a fence sitter as I am in this situation.

I will do my best to keep you apprised of the situation. I will also try and post about some more uplifting and fun in the next few days. Rumor has it that I may meet my blogger buddy JCR in real life next week. Wonder what trouble we will find to get into......

struggling

Well, so far today SUCKS! I was just sitting down at work to enjoy my piping hot Starbucks when hubby calls. I assumed he was calling to tell me how much he luvs me and to apologize for being a bit snippy this morning, but that was hardly the case. I should have known by his tone. I should have known when he asked me to make sure I was sitting down. Then came the verbal blow - our dog Barley bit Drake's face. "What do you mean he bit Drake's face? Why?? He loves Drake?" "We are going to have to put him down....I'm sorry. I can't take that risk again." By now I am sobbing, heck I am crying as I type this! Guess I should give a little background as some of you may not know Barley. We have had him for seven years. He is the biggest, dorkiest dog known to mankind, or at least high up in the rankings. He is a good 130 pounds of gentleness and often confuses himself for a miniature lap dog instead of a Malamute. He is Grady's face cleaner extraordinaire.

But for some reason he bit Drake. Drake was playing with our neighbor while they were waiting for the bus, minding his own business, typical day in the hood. Barley was out on his chain, like he is every morning, enjoying the morning rays of sunshine and some fresh air. Drake was shooting baskets, missed and went to retrieve his ball. This scenario has happened countless times and with many different children. As Drake was turning to go back to the driveway Barley growled and then attacked his face. There was no instigation and no need for the dog to feel threatened - just Drake walking by. I guess his glasses took the brunt of the bite, though Barley did break skin on is cheek. There was blood, there were screams and there were tears. Hubby said it was the worst screaming he had ever heard, glad I missed that.

So that puts me in the dilemma that I am in right now. What if it was the neighbor or one of the kids' friends? What if he had gotten Drake's neck or eye? What if... what if... what if.... The possible shitty outcomes are endless. The possible reality is even shittier. So now I have to sit here and contemplate ending the life of one of our family members, the soft and snuggley one. The one who is my running companion and keeps my feet warm in the winter. The one who has grown up with Drake. The only one who doesn't talk back.

GAWD.THIS.SUCKS!!!!

movie monday madness

Ok, I typically don't do movie reviews on my blog, but I did watch an interesting movie that I just feel compelled to talk about. So let's think of it as less of a review and more as my view. I am a HUGE fan of Netflix. Love the idea - it was made for me - the person who never has enough initiative to return a movie if it is more then walking distance from my front door. Oh, the glory of it all!! So when I heard about this movie, I added it to my que, don't ask why, just compelled by some strange force of nature. I had heard a lot about the movie Teeth and felt a strong pull to rent it. Now, if you have heard anything about it, it is not a family friendly movie. The main character discovers that she has a toothed vagina. Yes, that is right, a toothed vagina or in Latin vagina dentata. Hmmm.... the possibilities, but I digress. In all seriousness, snort snort, it does intrigue me. Yes, that probably does classify me as weird, or as my husband called me last night "a perverse freak", for renting this movie but.... I guess the closest thing I can compare it to is my keen liking ofClockwork Orange. Weird, yet intriguing in the same breath. My favorite part of Teeth, without giving too much away, is when she uses her 'ability' on a boy, then stands with her hands on her hips as her special place spits out the pierced penis on the floor, only to be quickly consumed by the previous penis owner's dog. I laughed out loud, much to hubby's dismay. Now, I will also say that it is not on it's way to winning an Oscar or any other major motion picture award, but it did do well at the Sundance Film Festival.

It is definitely not a movie that I would watch again, but it did leave me thinking. What would I do if I had this mutation? Would I use it for good or evil? So that is my question ladies, would you use it for good or evil? Moo ah ha ha!!!

*** Addendum - Ok, I had a complete brain malfunction and remembered another reason I wanted to post about this movie. The movie is a sybolistic (yes, that is a word) dream. There are so many images and phrases with alternate meanings that I was having flashback's to my junior English class with Mrs. Van Meter. She rocked and was the symbolism and metaphor queen. I cannot, to this day, watch a movie without looking for the hidden meanings and images. Heck, I can't even look at a pickle jar without thinking about Ethan Frome and the red pickle dish. This movie even had some subtle not so subtle political undertones that even the untrained eyes of hubby picked up on. So there you have it, my first and probably only movie review. Aren't you glad that is done and over with??

lassie rantings

Jes, from ova here, came to keep me sane during my little hood garage sale. Her estrogen treasures evened out my male dominant finds, so it was a match made in heaven. We were pretty productive and got rid of some of our outgrown toys and such. But something happened that, for some reasons, shocks and really bothers me. I had someone steal clothes from my garage sale. Now, my boys are not macked out in designer duds and these clothes were marked to sell. Most were priced from 50 cents to a dollar - no high retail in my garage! But as I was reorganizing the table I noticed somethings missing, two outfits in particular. Now you are probably wondering how I noticed but as I put out the clothes I was having my little 'flashback to when Grady was small younger and fit in these cute little things moment'. Grady had three little Carter's polo romper type outfits that I always thought made him look extra cute and like a tiny man. They were some of my favorites and I had a hard time parting with them (lame I know). So when I noticed they were no longer on the table I was taken aback. Why would someone steal them? They were priced for a dollar and I would have easily been persuaded to mark them down even more if they would have asked. But they didn't, they just took them. Hubby tried to be the devil's advocate by saying if they had to steal them they obviously could not have afforded them to begin with. Which I understand, but really, you could have asked. Dude, I would have packed up all my clothes and given them to this person for free - If. They. Asked. It was a garage sale if they hadn't noticed. Just trying to get a little something something for all the crap treasures I cleaned out of my basement for three straight weekends. Yes, the lassie is bitter. Not what people who may be reading me for the first time want to hear I am sure - so for that I apologize. I will try and make lighter posts in the coming days I swear!!

So you don't think I am a crabby, selfish, ranting fool, I will mention that I know that I have been blessed in many ways. I do go out of my way to share and give back whenever possible, but it also erks me to no end when people are deceitful and sneaky. (oh, here is that negativity again - sorry!) I should also mention that most of the money from my sale is going to her because she is extra special to us and I can't wait for her to sail.

I will now jump off my angry soapbox and take my aggressions to the field. As I look outside I see dark and foreboding clouds laughing at me. Great! Cold, windy weather and possibly rain - just what this soccer lassie asked for....not!

i've been pimped!

Yes, it is true! The glorious (and extremely hawt) diva Dutch Bitch has honored lowly me with a corner of her blog. I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy! Though, as she says in her intro, there were stipulations. She roughed me up a bit and then so graciously gave this lassie a much needed face lift. After a few rounds in the ring she developed the beauty that you see here. SIGH. I so love it!! Now, if she could only work her wonders on my puffy morning eyes...

Be sure to head on over and check her out as well. Believe me - You. Will. Love. Her. Join her pimping posse and enjoy a good read while you are there! Blow here a kiss from me!!

blue la la

Just when you thought the lassies could not get any sassier! Yes, the lassie went blue. I have been contemplating color for quite some time but did not want to torture my hair by bleaching and then coloring only to have to re-bleach and color when I am bored and tired of the color I added. Then my coworker walked in with these beautiful reds and blues in her hair. Ooooo, sassy likes!! After I cornered her and demanded to know her secrets she said, "Why they are extensions my dear!" Extensions.... I could do extensions. That sounds easy enough and without the undue stress to my locks. After some investigation I found out they are really easy to put in, last from 3-6 months and you can treat it like normal hair (which is good because I like my flat iron and love my product even more!!) The hardest part was deciding on a color...hmmm, which one will it be??? The salon was running a promotion for Breast Cancer Awareness with pink extensions which tempted me greatly but alas, I am just not a pinky type girl. So blue it is. I guess I can now say I am a blue hair... ha ha. Way before my time that is for sure! On the home front, Grady loves it and has begun demanding some for himself.I should have seen that coming from a mile away! I know this road will be well traveled if the boys are anything like their father, who changed his hair color every other week in high school. I can just see the Christmas cards now - Rainbow Bright meets the Irish Klan!! I am sure my family members will be lining up for blocks for one of those!

wordless wednesday - the perfect mother's day gift

a new frontier

Grady recently upgraded from a big wheel to a big boy bike. I was a little hesitant at first and was not ready to make the jump. Grady on the other hand was amped and ready to go. He would beg and plead for a bike like his brother...."Pleeeeze Momma? Me bike too?" But he is still so small. What if he falls and gets hurt, what if he goes too fast, what if, what if? All these excuses basically boiled down to me not wanting to letting go - letting him continue to grow up, letting him grow apart from me. Little did I know he would take to this new bike like a bat out of hell. I guess secretly I did know that and that is why I tried to delay this new experience as long as possible. He is the overly athletic and adventurous one, with no fear or boundaries to speak of. So now my days are filled with this view. I chase him along, trying to keep up, as he pedals with all his might up and down the street. I try to remind him to "SLOW DOWN!!" but he rarely listens. Maybe the rushing of the wind blocks out my voice - or not! My only hope is that all this extra running and chasing will have me swimsuit ready by summer. Yeah, that is laughable too!! But a girl can dream right?

a warm fuzzy

Today Drake's Sunday school class had a service day at the Milwaukee Rescue Mission. Drake waved the flyer in my face when he got it at church and really wanted to go. Sounded like a great way to spend a Saturday morning, so we made it a date. Being that he is my sensitive one, I tried to prep him for the types of things he might see on our drive down there and of course, once we got there. Our job was to help with the new family area/room. It is going to be a place were parents can bring their children and spend some quality time with them. There is an arts and crafts center, a book nook, a toddler area and a board game section. I got recruited to paint one of the wall murals as soon as I walked in the door. Drake wanted to paint more than anything but lacks the patience to take his time with a small paint brush. Totally understandable as he is an 8 year old rambunctious boy! So the director gave him the job of opening all the newly donated baby and toddler toys. It was like Christmas, though after about 10 or 12 toys he excitement was quickly dwindling. It was about this time that a four year boy, K, wandered in to see what we were doing. K was amazed by Drake and Drake was enjoying all the extra attention. They decided to draw together and make different monster pictures on a large dry erase board - it made my inner mommy smile. It also made me miss working in the inner city. While I do enjoying working in my little suburbia bubble school, I miss the smiles and joys these kiddos would bring to my heart. On the flip side, I also don't miss the heartache that comes with those smiles, not their heartache - but mine. It is so different now working with the over-involved and high maintenance parents instead of the non-involved and distant parents, if there were even parents at all. I was amazed at how much I ached thinking about working there again, wanting to do my part even though it was and would never be enough. The thoughts of Drake's smiles and his openness to K will remain with me and I hope that this experience instills some of the same passions for children that I have. Knowing Drake it probably did.

poppin' cherries galore

It has been a fun filled week of firsts in my humble abode. First and foremost, the lassie is back with a new and improved lap top. I have been without one for the past three days. This new one is so pretty and shiney. It even has a camera... watch out world - girl with gadgets on the loose! It has Intel or runs Intel, whatever or whichever, it runs. AND for the first time I have (or can see) all the stuff that is supposed to be on the top of my blog post box. Before I just had the pictures for spell check and to add a photo and NOTHING else. No wonder I was so confused by Bloggers directions for things - I couldn't see the tabs they wanted me to push. The blogging world is now a better place! sigh.....

As for Drake, well his first is not so good. Yesterday he brought home his first white slip from the principal. Guess my little friend got written up on the bus for standing and had to have a pow wow with the principal. He was terrified to give it to me - can't see why - cough cough. I guess if he is going to get sent to the principal's office I would prefer improper bus etiquette over beating the crap out of some kid.... oh wait, this is Drake. Yeah yeah, I don't see that happening either.

Grady on the other hand can finally hear thanks to his new tubes. We sat and watch a whole episode of Go Diego Go together. I know, it's a super Mommy Star moment. His face lit up when he heard Diego say "Clap with me!!" "Momma! Clap with Diego!" I had not realized until this moment how much he really was not hearing. I assumed that he didn't sit and watch television shows because he was two and didn't like to sit still. Nope - it was because he couldn't always hear them. pout pout Poor little guy. He was a totally different kid watching this show although I am sure that now I will have a TV junkie on my hands. It was at this same time five years ago we figured out Drake couldn't see. Wonder what it is about turning three in our house? You turn three and we find out something is wrong with you....hmmmm. Good thing WE are done reproducing! I will state that while Grady can now hear, his listening skills have not improved. Guess beggers can't be choosers!

and the chickens say cluck

As many of you are well aware, Grady had his adenoids removed and tubes put in last week. Well, Mother Nature decided to kick a kid while he was down and then point and laugh.... bitch. Why the anger you ask? Because Friday Grady was diagnosed with Hand Foot Mouth Disease. So along with having a sore throat from the adenoids and pain in his ears from the tubes, he was now erupting in blisters on his hands, face and bottom. He was OH so pretty to say the least and just a bundle of happiness and joy. I was begging my husband to ram pencils in my ears so the whining would stop. PLEASE make it stop!! Then to top it off, the older one, we think, also got a form of it. He had the fever and said his mouth and throat hurt but nothing else. It was so fun at our house.....barf.

Because everyone was napping on Saturday I took the opportunity and began the process of cleaning out the basement. As I was I found a hug box of old children's books. Knowing that my neighbor was collecting them for a charity I called and offered to drop them off instead of selling them in my garage sale. Well, trying to be "a nice" person bit me in the arse. We partook in the common small talk and she asked how the boys were. I told her about Grady's surgery and that he also had HFM, not thinking much about it. Silly, silly me! I should remember that my neighborhood is like a bad replay of high school. We have cliques, back stabbing, the works! And of course, with me being as (different, non-conformist, punk, not barbie) as I am, I keep to myself and try to stay away from all that is high school. Obviously my comment about Grady having HFM sent the chickens a clucking. The phone lines were burning and the whispers were going. A few of the mothers had their kids scope Drake out at school to see if he was "infected". One had the audacity to call here and harass hubby saying their child saw Drake with a rash all over his face. Hmmm, NO. His face is just as pasty irish white as it always is - sorry Barbie! She then had the all out nerve to go HERE! Oh yeah, she did. She went on to imply that by sending Drake to school we were risking the lives of others but this was all I heard - cluck cluck cluck. The chickens in the hen house were quite worked up - I could see them running around clucking from one person to another. "Can you believe her??" ""Oh I know. SHE would do that. She does have tattoos you know..." "And those piercings!" Yep, I am sure that is about how it all went down. And to that I give my big one finger standing. Good thing it is Cinco de Mayo and hubby had the Modelo's chilled to perfection. Arrrreba!!

why the laundry doesn't get done - reason 46

I will add a sub-note in here that this is was clean laundry...darn cat! Rest assured, if we get in a car accident we will all have plenty of cat hair on our undies!!

two times the lovin

Well some cool divas are entering the world of twos - and not soon enough according to some of them! The idea is to share your knowledge about the joys, and I mean JOYS, of having two - or three or four for that matter. You can check out the all legal schmegal HERE!

I do find it strangely ironic that I am going to spew advice to these kind ladies because most of the time, well, I have no idea of what I am doing - except going insane. I mean, recently there was the whole penis thing or the constant bickering over light sabers and match box cars. But then there are the fun times like playing rock-em sock-em robots and watching the older one teach the younger one how to hit a baseball. These are the moment I relish and try to draw upon when they are fighting over who gets to shut the garage door or eat the last Gogurt.

Going from one to two has also made me realize things about me that aren't pretty. Like my EXTREME lack of patience to whining, screaming and crying - of my own children. Wow! Where did that come from?? Not to toot my own horn - toot toot - but at work I have loads (butt loads to be exact) of patience. I have worked with handicapped and delayed children forever. I help them work through things that are difficult and challenging. I encourage them when they are crying and can tolerate their tears. I can even listen to their whining without batting an eye. BUT when it comes to my two - tolerance is absent most day, heck every day for that matter. So I guess this is where I would interject my world renowned advice - remember all the good and blog about all the bad - it makes for good material and helps the rest of us feel better!!

the surgery

I had all good intentions to post this last night - right before I crashed on the couch at 7:30. The physical and mental exhaustion of the past week(s) took its toll and I lost. Not that I am complaining! I have not slept like that for days! So now I am back, refreshed and on my second cup of java. Strap your selves in!

Where to begin... hmmm. Well, I guess I will start here: Being the good mother that I am, cough cough, I decided I would wake Grady up at 11:30 pm to feed him before the 'no food after midnight' cut off. Yeah, that didn't work so well. Because he had spiked a fever he wanted nothing to do with the food I was trying to force down his throat. In fact, he spit it back at me. Isn't he a cherub? So back to bed he went. He awoke nice and early and thankfully, not hungry. I did get him to eat a popsicle before the 'no liquids after 8:00' though. You would have thought he won the lottery. A popsicle...AT 6:30 am?! Are you serious?!? SCORE!! The problems began when his brother came downstairs and wanted cereal for breakfast. I tried hiding Drake while he ate but darn how his voice carries when he asks for another bowl. Grady's ears quickly perked up and then HE wanted cereal too. I convinced him he could have whatever he wanted after he saw the doctor. He quickly chose doughnuts and not just any doughnuts, Krispy Kreme doughnuts. (I LOVE this boy) So the bribe was set. After another two hours of standing guard in front of the pantry we decided to leave.

We fielded the "Can I have my doughnut now?" question the entire way there. How many times can a toddler ask the same question in a 15 minute car ride - WAY. TOO. MANY. We had just registered and settled in the little play area when they called us back - sweet! As soon as the automatic door closed behind us we heard the dreaded words... the doctor is running behind. Joy! I will now mention that it wasn't just a little behind - it was TWO frickin' hours behind. Two hours that hubby and I were encapsulated in a small room (with no windows), with a three year old that would not stop chanting "I want my doughnut!" " I don't like this room. Mommy I want to leave" "I go now and get my doughnut?!" Oh the insanity of it all. To top it off we, being the good parents that we are, cough cough, opted to not eat breakfast as a way to help Grady with his not eating experience. That did not, however, include the nice piping hot cups of coffee we had just gotten. The ones we weren't allowed to bring back with us into the pre-surgery room. The ones that might have taken the edge off the chanting three year old and his obsession with doughnuts. Though, Young Hot Doctor or YHD, in scrubs was nice on the eyes and did ease the pain slightly. Even better was when hubby pointed out to YHD that a mutual friend of theirs wife thought he was hot. That made YHD blush - making him even hotter as he stood there in scrubs. sigh

Then the nurse brought Grady his surgery pajamas to change into - light lavender. Guess they try and give you ones you won't steal. As though the monstrous Children's Hospital Stamps all over them wouldn't be enough of a deterrent. Grady hated them and refused to keep the top on. I don't blame him. He looked like an over washed Barney doll. He finally stopped chanting/ screaming when he got the pre-anesthetic relaxer drug. He was a riot and we liked him again! Is it bad to be entertained by your three year old son in a complete drunk/stoned state? No, I didn't think so either. He insisted I was laying on the floor even as he was sitting in my lap. "Momma, why you on the floor?? giggle giggle Momma you on the floor!" All the while his head is drooping from side to side with that lackadaisical look of euphoria. Wish I had my camera to capture it cause I can guarantee the next time I see that face he will be grounded!

After that all went well. He came out of surgery like a trooper. His first words were, of course, about those damn doughnuts. I swear that boy has a one track mind. As soon as YHD gave us a prescription for oxycodone (HELLO MOMMA!!) and discharged him we were off to Krispy Kreme. Before we could pull away from the drive though window Grady woofed down three doughnuts without breathing. When he finally came up for air and asked for a fourth I had to say no. This was met with lots of tears and discourse. I persuaded him to wait until we got home so that his tummy could rest but the chanting continued until we got home. Ironically all the chanting about doughnuts did not deter me from partaking in their soft and sweet goodness - yum.

Now he is up and about riding his big wheel around the house like nothing ever happened. Deep down this was how I knew (and hoped) it would be. I am glad this is all behind us and hope that the surgery fixed everything it was supposed too. Guess we will find out when we go see YHD in a month for Grady's follow-up. Wonder what I will wear...???

mad luv

Oh yes, this lassie got a face lift. And I must say it was MUCH needed and WAY overdue. The hot and sassy new look is brought to you by the divine and oh so hot Dutch Bitch. Yes, I now secretly worship her, heck I openly worship her. I think I may even be crushing...sigh. And all this out of blogger love. What more can a girl ask for? And I even learned how to link, since I could not sleep last night due to one extra large anxiety attack. But no worries internet, Grady is fine. I will post more later about the experience. Gotta chase down a wired up three year old!