Friday, May 23, 2008

fence sitting

Yep, here I am contemplating life on the fence. New information and circumstance have arisen in the Barley situation. Many 'experts' have been consulted but no one can give us a definitive answer. The final comment is always "It is your choice". WTF is that?? I don't want it to be MY choice, I don't want to have to make this decision. Hubby is not cooperating on this one and wants it to be a joint effort - since when is marriage a joint effort? At least not in these conditions. Damn his equality!! I totally feel like a verse from a Rolling Stones song:

I'm just sittin' on a fence
You can say I got no sense
Trying to make up my mind
Really is too horrifying
So I'm sittin on a fence

As many of you know, or those of you that don't now you will, I live in the world of black and white. I am not and have not been a fan of grey. I have strong opinions and don't often falter from my grounds. My Dad even made that comment at my wedding in his speech, shocking since I never thought he noticed. I must be more obvious then I thought! I should also mention that the proverbial 'Life' has been throwing me quite a few curve balls as of late and I am just not sure how to handle all of them. Have I also mentioned that I suck at baseball?? Here I am swinging away and still stuck on home plate. Can't someone throw me a soccer ball? Along with this decision comes my issues with perfection. I have been dealing ignoring my perfectionistic qualities for years. I am aware that decisions made in real time are never perfect. That is why I don't like to make ones that I am not sure of, ones that may have consequences that I am not ready or willing to handle. But I also know that I am not doing anybody my husband any favors by sitting on the fence because I think he is just as much of a fence sitter as I am in this situation.

I will do my best to keep you apprised of the situation. I will also try and post about some more uplifting and fun in the next few days. Rumor has it that I may meet my blogger buddy JCR in real life next week. Wonder what trouble we will find to get into......


Blondefabulous said...

Fence sitting is counter productive, but I know where you are coming from. I hate to make decisions because I am always wondering if I made the right decision, is my decision going to have consequences to others, am I going to be happy with my decision or am I going to have second thoughts???? It's all too much to think about. I hope you don' tput your pooch to sleep though.



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Lisa said...

Oh what a difficult decision! Am so sorry to hear this. Is there maybe a medical reason behind this? (This sounds dumb, I know.) Like the dog has serious anxiety disorders that can be dealt with by meds? Ask your vet maybe?

My heart is with you. Whatever the decision you make, I hope you feel "ok" with it.


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keiki3 said...

Wanna meet at Moz's?????????

Craft Junkie said...

I'm new so I have no clue what it is that you're sitting on the fence about...but I do know a thing or two about being a fence sitter in general. Sometimes decisions are just so hard to make (or you can actually see both sides of the situation) that withholding making a decision can sometimes be your decision. Make sense?

Thanks for dropping by my site...I do hope you'll come back.

Daisy said...

Don't do it. Dogs are great; if this was the first instance, something was just bugging him that morning and Drake just got in the way of his space. Just my .02.