Tuesday, July 08, 2008

hey you! .... oh, and you too

Dear asshat in seat 4A,

While I am sure that you were just as annoyed as the rest of the flight that we were two hours late taking off, I did not find your comments, nasty looks and attitude necessary. I am well aware that both of my sons are hyper-verbal and suffer from logorrhea. Yes, I live with that fact every day. I am also aware that while they talk, a lot, they can at times get on you nerves. Most days they pummel the crap out of my last nerve till it is almost unrecognizable. You did however crossed the line enlightened me when you turned around and recommended I give them Benedryl to help quiet them down. Yet you scoffed when I told you I already had. Never doubt a desperate mother! If I was not completely exhausted and spent you would have gotten a piece of my mind, but sadly, I had none left to give. I didn’t even have the energy to flip you off appropriately and for that I am sorry. Oh and the ass you kept dropping – SO not cool.

Since I am calling people out, "Hey foreign lady in 6!" No one appreciates a loud talker. NO. ONE. Especially when it is 10 PM and my loud talking angelic children are trying to sleep. I don’t want to hear the graphic details about the surgery for your ingrown toe. I also do want to be privy to all the words you challenge when playing Scrabble with your friends. If you don’t think ‘align’, which you pronounced Ay- lig-n, is a word and challenge the word ‘friend’ because you say ‘fren’, well then you are stupider then you look. And voicing it for the whole plane to hear makes you a moronic imbecile.

And I won't even start about the passenger who left his barn door wide open with his horse in full view. Yeah, after a long day of travel, I definitely did not need to see that!!

9 comments:

Blondefabulous said...

For a moment, I thought you were going to say you slapped the shit out of the guy, but alas.... that would have gotten you booted from the plane and that would have been a bad thing huh? Remember when airlines actually gave a damn, and people were nice and respectful of each other? Sigh...... you should have let your kids kick his seat all the way through the flight!

"that girl" said...

ok i'm sorry ... but i am laughing

only because as a mother i know EXACTLY where you are coming from and in the moment, holy jesus, would it just make your day to tell: the guy in front of you to fuck off, scrabble woman to take an english class and just point and laugh at farmer peter!

cautious1 said...

Oh my - sounds like a great flight home! I'm not feelin' much LOVE at all from one Sassy Irish Lassie!

Come on, r u serious about the barn door man????? How can u NOT know????? Ewwww....maybe he DID know. That's a SICK thought!

Ann said...

WhAAAAAAtTTT!
Oh my ... what the?!?
You are a stronger woman than I.
I wish I could come over and share a bottle of 'something' with you and hear all the details!

Diane said...

I am so sorry that you didn't have the energy to give that guy a piece of your mind because he totally deserved it. How freaking rude!

Putz said...

on my last airplane flight i had a cowboy minister preach to me on how horses made you reach an impossible high...i once traveled 16 hours overseas(to ireland) on a mats(militray) on a broken seat...it was normal travel for my whole fam(i am an army braat)

Jes said...

That is why I never fly coach. All those trashy people back there. You must fly 1st class next time. They LOVE loud children :)

Teri said...

why must all my trips be dismal and boring? I NEVER have trips like this.

JCR said...

This makes me not want to fly next month! People are so rude. I hope you let the kids kick the back of seat 4A for a long time...