Monday, February 04, 2008

wind of change

There are days it seems the turmoil will never cease. And lately I am a bit saddened by it. We were supposed to move this summer. I know that this might come as a shock to some since I have kept it under wraps for various reasons. We had a realtor and were supposed to put the house on the market in two weeks. I had interviews, was in the process of switching over my medical license and had investigated preschools and neighborhoods. We even looked at houses and planned a trip in March to go "seal the deal". But last Thursday this so called "reality" came to a screeching halt. Basically, for other various reasons, my husband decided we are not moving. I have been trying to cope with the reeling effects of realizing that I am stuck in a state that I don't wish to live in anymore. I long to move back east and was elated at the prospect of change. But I guess I am going to have to continue to grow where I have been planted. In an effort to soften the blow the husband has been trying to, shall we say, use bribery to get me out of the funk I have thrown myself into. In the past few days I have been offered a new craft room, to decrease the amount of days I work a week and even a summer home! I have a better idea oh hubby of mine..... how about we move!!? He even tried to pull the ultra sneaky move that softens my heart every time, he grew out his beard to scruff length. (I am a sucker for a scruffy face) But yet, these feeble attempts have not softened my heart or eased my sadness. I still find myself moping, wishing it could be different, wondering if I will ever get to leave the state of beer, cows and cheese. And as I sit and mope I remind myself that I should probably look on the bright side.... at least I like cheese and beer! Though at this moment, wine and lobster sound even better.


jes said...

I am trying to keep my not so nice words to myself right now. I can't believe, but understand , why you did not share this news. I am sorry that you won't be moving for I know the feeling of not liking what you have. But then again I do like the idea of you staying "close". I say go for the craft room :)

JCR said...

I'm so sorry to hear that. I share your longing to live someplace else, I've been wanting to move back to Chicago for almost 10 years. But for you to be so close and then have it taken wonder you are in a funk! I wish there was a way you could work it out. :(