Monday, August 18, 2008

for better or for worse

Ahhhhh, marriage. Is there anything finer? If we are all honest then the answer is, on most days, no. Now, there are those days where you would love to toss your spouse out of a fast moving vehicle just to watch the bounce effect, but for the most part, they are there to suffer with you - through thick and thin. So, in honor of the tie that binds, Absolutely Bananas has us writing about marriage. Not the schmoopy sugary type - the truth. The bare nakedness of marriage in real life. Fasten you seat belts folks, it's about to get bumpy!

Since this is the second (and last) time around for both of us, we each came into the marriage with baggage. Mine was emotional and his... well we don't talk about his baggage on this blog. Though I will point out he was nice enough to bring a television, lawn mower and Bow Flex-like machine into the relationship. Yep. He travels light. Through the past 11 years there have been a lot of good times. There have also been some dark, dark times. I grew up in a house where my parents didn't fight or argue in front of us. Whoa momma, that was an eye opener!! I had to learn that it was Ok to 'fight' with you spouse and that every fight wouldn't lead to divorce court. By the way, I have this mastered by now, thanks for asking. He had to learn that I was a yeller by nature. Sometimes I just yell. It isn't directed at him all the time, but when I get fired up about something so does my voice. He now knows what it is like to have a sassy red head as his wife!

We, as a couple, are very similar. So much so that you wouldn't think we would mesh the way we do. Don't worry!! We have our opposites too. There is a strict 'no politics conversations' in our marriage bi-laws. Though every now and then he tries to dabble and of course, fires me up. (insert yelling here)

I can easily say that hubby is my best friend. This helps me tolerate his inability to put anything directly in the hamper and helps him deal with my inability to rinse out dishes. We both love the ocean and feel completely calm and centered with one whiff of salt water. I love his surfer/ skater bad side and he loves me for my inner Betty. We can finish each others thoughts and have often texted or IM'd the same things to each other at the same moment. We also have this weird habit of taking self portraits of ourselves while we are on vacation. They often involve alcohol so they are usually silly, off centered or out of focus. They also always make us look like we have three chins! But every time we look back at our photos they make us laugh and remember the amazing time we had.


So to my hubby, thanks for being you. I look forward to growing old with you and whacking you with my cane.

19 comments:

Matt said...

What a great post! It's awesome to see people SO happy, most of the time :) You and Hubz are a lot like Robin and I. Not the 1st time around for either of us, but definitely working on making sure we die yelling and screaming at each other and no one else.

My ex and i never fought. EVER! So the first time Robin and I were yelling and fighting, it was ... nice. We were able to get upset with eachother, argue, even scream. And in the end, we were able to resolve the issue.

And we, like you, take way too many drunk photos! You should see some of them .. lord have mercy :)

IRISHKAT said...

Hee hee hee. They are fun to look back on aren't they??

teri said...

"toss your spouse out of a fast moving vehicle just to watch the bounce effect"

LMAO

that was funny. You two are cute. It's good to know that you can make it work.

Even though I'm not from Ireland directly, I always like to say "you're getting my Irish up". Sometimes it seems we have bad tempers if you push us far enough.

bananas said...

My parents were also of the never-fighting variety. In fact, my mom told me that "couples who love each other don't argue." HELLO! Love your post. You are such a beautiful couple.

marye said...

Great post..I love this meme that bananas is doing. :)
WE are alot like you guys..similar enough to be comfy, different enough to keep it hot.

Carrie said...

My husband comes from a "never talk about anything unpleasant ever" family, and I come from a "scream and yell and get it all out" family, so learning to disagree in each other's language has been a bit adjustment for me too! It sounds like you have a great marriage- good post!

Ann said...

I've tried to write something 3 times and it all sounds like, well, it all sounds like shit.

This is a great post. These are great words!

I wish that we lived closer together. It's time for a cook-out and a few pints.

Lynette said...

Awww...true love. I had to teach my husband it was okay to be mad & say so, instead of pretend like everything was okay when I can all but see sparks shooting out his ass. :)

ali said...

Great post! Hubby and I will celebrate our 11th anniversary on Saturday. I was 24 and he just turned 20 when we were married and I had to go through his growing pains with him. Ugh. Not to mention the fighting machine the govt turned him into after boot camp. Not good times. But I'm so happy we survived!

Diane said...

I love the honesty of this post. It's so important for couple to realize that perfect marriages may not be "perfect" at all, but they work and that's the key to happiness.

MommyTime said...

This is a great post, as everyone here seems to be saying, because it is so honest. But also because the self-portrait looks so joyful. I love that!

Putz said...

enjoyed hearing about your FIRE....my wife is italian and they are firey also....

Mark Salinas said...

Very nice post! The challenges and rewards of marriage! :) Some of my readers are asking for an explanation to your "foot stomp" comment. Want to give a quick once over at my end? :)

prissynotgirly said...

too cute. me and the ex used to say we would never get divorced ... we would just kill each other ... war of the roses style ... well ... we're still here!! and even though we are divorced we are still married because we still have children together.

MizFit said...

Im with you on all of this.

and the best friend.

Im so lucky that was and marvel how many people...men and women... are seemingly married to people they dont even like!

Miz.

carrie said...

You guys are adorable!

jt said...

Kat,
Just remember, I am the lucky one.

143-4

jt

Mary said...

I'm a redhead too, and I always remind my husband he knew was he was getting into when he said, "I do."!

Tazeen said...

wow, that was lovely.