Thursday, October 23, 2008

The Myths of Motherhood

Guest Post by Cheryl
When that wonderful Sassy Irish Lassy asked me to do a guest blog, I couldn't resist. For days I pondered over what to write because she has such a great blog and without even knowing her, I sense that she's a great Mom. So, I thought I'd post about the myths of Motherhood. It's not until you become a Mom do you realize that that some of them really are true...and some are not.

Mothers Have Eyes In the Back of Their Heads
Scary, but true. They seem to magically appear within hours of the birth of your first child. So, yes, we do see you stuff an entire bag of Halloween candy under your pillow when you think we're not looking. We are just thankful that you didn't choose hard boiled eggs for your emergency nighttime snack. 

Mothers Know Everything
This is not true even though we often seem as if we know it all. Unfortunately, when we give birth we only get a set of eyes in the back of our heads, not a bigger brain. In fact, it seems as if our brain shrinks with each birth. After 5 children, I think I officially have no useful brain cells left. We do not get a crystal ball, either. So, that science project that's due tomorrow that you need supplies for AFTER all the stores are's not happening. Didn't know, weren't told and can't always read your mind unless you're fibbing.

Mothers Worry Too Much
False. There is no such thing as worrying too much. Moms seem to worry about everything and it annoys children, especially as they reach the teen years. If you think worrying about dropping Kool-Aid on the carpet is bad, wait til you see us fret about your first time driving alone. 

Mothers Don't Need Any Privacy
This is false, but we let it slide. We really DO mind when we're in the bathroom alone for the first time all day and you walk in asking what's for dinner. However, it won't be long before I am really alone in that bathroom and you are grown up and busy with your lives. Just so you know, I am not really doing anything in the bathroom when I'm in there. It's where I hide.

Mothers Don't Get Sick
Yes, we do...but we do understand that making a working volcano for your school project that is due in less than 12 hours is far more important than sleeping off the flu.

Mothers Remember Everything
I have a Blackberry for a reason. I think more Moms need one because it's just not always easy to balance the life of a Mommy. Sorry, kids, it's not to play games on. It's my memory that I put on the charger every night. So, if I forget something, I just blame the Blackberry. Often.

Mothers Like To Say "You're Grounded"
False. Well, I don't know about other mothers, but to me it's a sentence for me, not you. When I take away your bike, you sit and stare at me with your pouty face all day. When I take away your cell phone, your friends call you on mine. I'd rather have you take the garbage out or clean the toilet.

Mothers Don't Listen
Yes, we do listen. I just might not compute things as fast as I used to. Sometimes, though, I use selective listening like you do when I say "Clean your room". It's fun to pretend I can't hear at times.

Mothers Can Fix Any Problem
We'd live at the end of a rainbow with a pot o' gold if that were true. Best I can do is put a patch over things and try to get you back to smiling as soon as possible.

Mothers Want The Best For Their Children
I can't speak for all mothers but that's all I want for all five of my children. Because even though you probably find my extra eyeballs annoying and the fact that sometimes I want to be the one to get a time out, at the end of my journey I want to leave behind 5 happy, successful grown-ups. Now, don't get excited kiddos....I'll be watching you with those extra eyeballs for at least another 45 years........


ali said...

My 4 yr old asked me this morning why the sun is yellow. I told him that's the way it was made. Mothers know everything--whether it's right or not is the question!

Great post, Cheryl!

Ann said...

This is great Cheryl!
I put a check mark by every-single-one of the items.

dena said...

Yes, my sons are 30 and 22 and I am still watching with my extra set of eyeballs. They don't even need to live with me and I can know what's going on. Great post.

Kat said...

This was great!! Like Ann I was nodding my head to every one. If only we were paid for all of our superpower abilities.... sigh.