the lassie IS alive!

Yes, yes. I am alive AND I am posting on a Sunday again. What is up with me?? Well, I have officially flunked National Blogging Month. The pressure was just too intense I tell you and I cracked. This week definitely threw me for a loop and by Friday I was burnt like nobody's business.

Tuesday night I discovered I had not one but TWO flat tires. (damn Chicago construction) Luckily, since these have become a regular occurrence, Hubby decided to get the warranty insurance the last time he had to get me tires. When he called to get my two new, and supposedly free tires, they claimed to not have any in stock. (ironic) They did however have the next level up but of course, we would have to pay for those and because they weren't the same type, buy four. THAT didn't fly with hubby and after many phone calls, he got me the tires I needed. Oh how I heart him!! (BTW, I plan on elaborating on this whole ordeal a bit more in a later post)

Work had been beyond crazy and our tech department had the nerve to block the ability to read blogs while at work!! How am I supposed to keep up with all my peeps?? grrrrrr So I have been trying to read everyone at night but have been seriously slacking in the comment section. Don't worry! I am reading just not commenting - sorry!

To top it off Grady is sick. Nothing like waking up on a Friday night to the lovely sounds of puking! I thought about posting something for Photo Hunt since the theme was "ruined" but opted against the idea of ruined sheets. Letters of thanks can be sent to the email in my sidebar! lol

Finally, I have also been in the process of a little nip/ tuck and facelift. It's my birthday and I decided to get a little work done. Oh wait!! I guess I should mention my blog will be getting the facelift not me. No scary Joan Rivers for this lassie! I like my face just the way it is. I am working with the ultra fabulous Karla at Fruition Designs to create the new and improved look. AND great news for you!! When I unveil my new look YOU get all the perks! I am planning a week or two of giveaways just for this occasion. I have some great goodies and swag to celebrate!! 

Stay tuned. I am still here! I promise to try and make more of an effort to post. So please bare with me while I try and sort all the craziness and chaos that is my life out. I promise.... it will be worth the wait!

i'm your mother??

"I'm your Mother not your..." is a widely used phrase, at least in our house. My boys have heard the barrage of sayings, including "I'm not your slave, maid, butt wiper, clothes/underwear picker upper, nanny, short order cook, referee" - just to name a few.  But to be totally honest, there are those days where my boys leave me shaking my head and I find myself asking, "I'm your mother??" No sooner then the words leave my lips then I hear my mother's ever looming voice inflicting the age old curse, "I hope you get a child JUST. LIKE. YOU."  Now in hindsight, I am realizing what an evil and mean curse that is!  

The world of boys has often times left me speechless. For example - why must my three year old come and press his cute little hynie up against me and make farting noises? Or pull down the front of his pants and scream "Nudie boy!! Nudie boy!!"  Why do both of my boys use the 'no hands' method when going to the bathroom when I specifically remember teaching them to use their hands? Unless of course they aren't in the bathroom, because then they can't keep their hands off of it! There are days their whining makes my ears bleed and their bickering can make me want to poke myself in the eyes with sharp objects. Then somedays, they surprise me and I am reminded how blessed I am to have tow rambunctious boys to keep me busy and on my toes. And for that I am thankful. Now for Pete's sake will you please pick up your socks! I am NOT the maid!!!

holy testicles batman!

***WARNING****

The following post may contain information deemed TMI by many. Proceed with caution.

As I have stated many times before, my house is a revolving door of chaos. It is one of the few things that everyone pitches in and participates. On Sunday, hubby, who must have been feeling left out of the circle of chaos, decided it would be fun to visit the ER and give me a full blown panic attack. It started out as a typical summer Sunday - morning coffee, read the paper, boys fighting playing, laundry swishing. I decided to take Drake to the skate park to practice his ollies while hubby stayed back with Grady and his motorized Harley. When we return I notice hubby walking a bit strange. "Hitting the juice already honey?" He then rudely informed me that he was in pain and was trying to 'walk it off'. Yeah your walking something off buddy I'm sure!

So off I went to make lunch and get all the stuff ready to take to the pool. While eating, hubby said he felt better and was going to try and fix the lawnmower while I took the boys to the pool. (how I always get stuck taking them to the pool by myself is yet another mystery) I come home two hours later and I am in the process of putting Grady down for his nap when I hear moaning from our bedroom. I walk in to find hubby sprawled on the bed, pale and with the look of death on his face. "Uhhhh, are you Ok? You look a little pale..... WHERE are your pants?!?" "I can't walk. I think my brother is trying to steal my balls since he doesn't have any. Really Kat, it feels like someone is trying to rip my nut off." "Ummmm, Ok.... let me consult Dr. Google. I think you should go to the doctor." "And say WHAT... my ball hurts!!?" Obviously his condition was not effecting his testosterone. Geez!"

As I began my consultation with Dr. Google things did not look good. "Good news honey... it's not cancer! Says here that cancer is painless. Do you have any lumps? It says I should check for lumps." "Dude, you touch my sack and I am going to hurt you." (again, testosterone in full check) "Well it says if you have sudden and severe tecticular pain that you should rush to the doctor. You only have a 5-6 hour window before things can get real ugly." "What is real ugly?" "Well Dr. Google is using the word fatal but he may be exaggerating a wee bit. I still think we should go to the Urgent Care.

After much convincing hubby and I finally head to the local Urgent Care. "Here you write down my symptoms. I don't know what to write." "How about pain and swelling in right testicle???" Duhhh. "I can't write that!!" Sigh.... "Fine!! Give me the paper!" I scrawl out his symptoms and hand it back to the nurse. "What did you write??" "Um that I tried to emasculate you with tweezers and now you are complaining about the pain. Grrrrrr Kidding!! I wrote down your symptoms and that's it." In all honesty I don't see why we bothered with Urgent Care since we were only there for a whopping 5 minutes. The doctor had hubby drop his drawers and tried to cop a feel, which sent hubby straight to the ceiling. "Oh this is no good! You need to go to the ER." Really you think? That is why we are here!! That is all you can tell us? He then proceed to tell me everything Dr. Google had told me at home - for free!! "You need to have your testicle further examined sir before things get very bad." (Very bad = bye bye testicle)

After many hours and tests (and a shit load of money) at the hospital, hubby was found to have a severe contusion on his testicle. We still have no idea how or when but were told it was a good thing we got there when we did. These things are often ignored and turn ugly. I, personally have always found testicle to be quite homely, even ugly, so I am not sure how they could have gotten uglier.... but I digress. Thankfully hubby is home safe and sound but a little worn for wear. He has been instructed to rest, ice and medicate to help everything heal. I, on the other hand, am just hoping for a little peace and quiet before our next chaotic turn of events! This lassie has seen enough excitement for quite a while!

danger will robinson, danger!

We are officially at one week and counting for Grady's surgery. Yes, that is right, he is having his surgery on May 1st. 'May day! May day! Mother down in recovery room three!' Kind of over dramatic I know, but truly, I am beginning to see a lot of warning signs. For example, on Tuesday I was working with a little boy in my office and he was so excited, (a little too much if you ask me), to show me the new bracelet his mom had gotten him. "Look! It's reversible. I have to make sure you can see this red part though cause it's a medical bracelet." "Oh really?? What for?" "Because I almost died this summer getting my tonsils out. I stopped breathing and everything! So now I have to wear this in case I have to go to the hospital again." This is when I casually ask the little boy if I can further inspect his bracelet so I can see (and research) what disorder he has, how many kids have it and how many more panic attacks I need to have before next week. Can you see the need for Paxil yet?? What does a girl have to do to get her hands on some of that? I am also extremely stressed by the fact that I do not know what time Grady's surgery is and what I am going to do with Drake. My neighbor has offered to take him but I can't give her any sort of timeline or expectation. Plus, I have the whole 'emotional Drake' issue. Add that to psychotic mother issues and you can see why my husband wants to run for the hills! I even contemplated bringing Drake with us but quickly decided against it. Hubby thought we should keep his day as normal as possible, especially since I will not be in any condition to field Drake’s never ending stream of questions. So till next Wednesday, we are in limbo. The nurse told us they would call sometime Wednesday evening to give us our surgery time. Seriously... You won’t have any idea until then? I find that difficult to wrap my brain around. This Momma has got to plan. Can’t they see that this uncertainty is adding to the chaos and anxiety that is swarming my brain?!? I should also take this time to warn you that I am sure the sanity level of my blogs will severely drop in the next few days. Hope you can all tolerate the insanity and garbled mess that I may, or may not, be typing. Till then I think I may just have to subdue myself with coffee and chocolate. Starbucks anyone??

well thought out twinkle - or not

While driving my car last weekend and being repeatedly kicked in the back by Drake, hubby mentioned how I should probably upgrade to a big girl car. "And what pray tell do you mean by that?" I queried. "I think we have outgrown your car. We need something bigger". Humph. I love my car. I downsized to get my car. It is fast and zippy. It's a diesel, so it gets great gas mileage and I can always find parking when we go to Milwaukee or Chicago. "I will NOT drive a minivan and you can't make me!!" "No, not a minivan, just something a bit... bigger."


This is the Mazda 5

So we spent some time Sunday looking at cars online. I really like the Mazda5. It has the third row seating but without the height and bulk of a van. It was actually almost the same height as my VW. I liked that I could tint out my windows and still have it look somewhat cool. I also really liked that the second row seats are bucket and recline - great for road trips! So nothing was every really decided and I thought it was just something we were throwing around. I didn't think twice when he asked me to drive his car to work Monday. Bad judgment on my part, very bad. He said he was going to have a dealership appraise it "just" so we would know what range we could look in. Lies, lies, lies. I should also mention that he exhibits numerous signs of ADD and has sever impulsivity issues. So with that said, you can probably see where this bumpy road is going.

At about 9am I got a text message that he was going to put my car up for sale online just to see if there was any interest. Well, there was, and a lot. Bugger had it sold in under six hours for more then the dealer was willing to offer. "GREAT!" he says as he is flashing his wheel and deal smile. "Crap!" I say. "You just turned us into a one car household!" Yeah, I was met with a blank stare and shrugging shoulders. He tried to woo my green side by telling me that the guy who is buying it is going to rebuild it and turn it into a bio-diesel car. "Much better for the environment honey!" Much better my butt! Now we have to rush and find a car. We can't just have one car. Hello?! I commute to Illinois everyday, you will become housebound and have to scrounge through your day. "What if you get called out to an emergency.... you know, like what happened twice last week??? Hell, once you had to fly out to Boston with one hour notice. What then?? Aaaaaahhh!" You can visualize the melt down can you not?

After a few glasses of wine and many nasty looks I decided that I am taking his car and claiming it as my own. It will now be his responsibility to find a new ride and preferably before we head out east next week for a brief holiday. Otherwise he will have to put his kicks to the pavement if he wants to go anywhere. Or, weather permitting, his new motorcycle girlfriend.

i would like to say the project is finished

But alas, I cannot. The project that was started three weeks ago is still incomplete. So reminiscent of the time he ripped up our only bathroom the day I was due with Drake. Ok, maybe not AS bad, but approaching the same delays in finishing. At least he didn't saw out any windows this time....

The constant nagging view from my kitchen. I think the newspaper decor is starting to grow on me.

definitely a first

Well I am at home enjoying yet another snow day. We are currently getting three inches of snow an hour with a cumulative total around almost two feet. It is very pretty to watch, not so pretty to drive in. Thankfully I am home bound the rest of the day after just picking up Grady from pre-school. After a visit to the doctor yesterday Grady got a prescription for a higher dose of antibiotic to try and get rid of his persistent ear infection. One of the side effects on the warning label was "red stools". I thought, Ok red stools, how bad can it be? Well today I got to experience the previously mentioned side effect. Never before have I seen crayon red come from the bottom of a child. I am sure this may be too much information for some but seriously, it was the color of a red magic marker! On a happier note, he is feeling better and is back to his happy and spunky self. He has been occupying his time between the cats and the dog. I love this picture....what cat would roll around with a two year old in the bath tub? Guess this is a bit of insight as to how loopy my cats are!

rock em, sock em boys

I know I can honestly say that these boys do not lack in imagination. Somehow their two brains combined decided it would be a great idea to place the demolished boxes from the "jump-a-thon" on their heads and run at each other at full speed. When I heard the first rather large crashing sound I came a running! This is what I found at the crime scene: Both boys were flat on their backs with their arms and legs flailing with peals of laughter emanating from inside the boxes. They reminded me of tortoises stuck on their backs, kind of sad looking yet somewhat amusing to just stand there and watch. Thinking they had had their fill I walked back into the kitchen to tackle the mail and ultimately dinner. As soon as I stepped into the kitchen I could here the pattering of running feet and another large crash.
Guess once was not enough! I threw out the proverbial warning that it was all fun and games until someone got hurt, and as you can imagine, it was met with def ears. Ironically they continued this game for quite some time till they decided it would be even MORE fun to chase each other around the house with the boxes on their heads. With the forecast of bloodshed in the future, I quickly ended the box chasing. The boxes then took the form of monster trucks that they would slide across the floor and bash into each other. Sigh….. what has happened to all the nice and quiet activities of days past? Good thing my trusty friend merlot was on hand to lend a shoulder to lean on!!


As a side note: You can't see it but Drake has on his favorite holiday shirt "Jingle Bells... All girls smell" Sniff, sniff. He makes me so proud.