weekend wrap up or coffee clutching

Well it was another fantastic weekend in this lassie's abode. If you don't note the dripping sarcasm then at least take notice of my dripping nose. Yep, the lassie has been infected. It was only a matter of time since the boys were sick last weekend. Needless to say it was relaxing and I got to take a long and glorious nap on Saturday. I also got some news that one of my bloggy friends, Ann, from Ann Again, has traveled to the Chicago area and I am excited at the possible chance to meet her. Keep your fingers crossed and I will keep you posted!

In soccer, it was another glorious soccer Sunday. Our team won our game and I have to take this moment to bask in the glory of my utterly amazing goal from midfield. It was beautiful, went through two defenders and past the goalie to the distant corner of the net. If it were basketball you would have heard the 'swoosh' of glory. I guess I should also admit that I got a wee bit snarky during the game too. I had one of the opposing player tell me I was playing 'too close' to her. Ummm, last I checked soccer is a contact sport and if I want to get the ball I have to get close to it and thus... you. Well, the next time she came towards me with the ball I held my arms out nice and wide in an attempt to give her space and let her run by me with no effort. (By the way, my coach didn't like that too much) When I asked her if she had enough room I got the evil eye so I quickly ran and got the ball away from her. I know, not nice or sportsman like, but I do not have a high tolerance for whining. Nor did I feel bad when we pummeled them into the ground *ahem*

Since I was not feeling up to par this weekend I decided to peruse my referring URLs. Some of the things that lead people to my blog are utterly shocking! I discovered that someone googled "Irish girls that talk dirty" and my blog came up! So for that person I will now take this opportunity to give you what you were looking for, "Smelly socks, crusty dishes, grass stains and the dirty nails of the two nasty boys that live in my house." Hope that gives you your dirty fix for a while.

Colleen tagged me for "Seven Facts About Me Meme" so here it goes!
1. I love the ocean and hope to live by it VERY soon. The smell of salt water calms me to my core.
2. I used to downhill slalom race but quit once I had Drake. I think I am too overly cautious to try it again.
3. I have a strong desire to live overseas.
4. I believe there is nothing better then a hand written note - if it is mailed it is even better!!
5. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.
6. I made Shepperd's Pie this weekend and hubby all but licked the pan. Ali gave me the recipe but you can find another version of it here! Highly recommend it and was also very kid friendly - YUM!!

7. I have many OCD tendencies that drive hubby insane others he has learned to tolerate, or at least he lets me think he does!

manic monday

Do you believe people are basically good?

   * I feel awful saying this but I think as time goes on I run into more people that are bad then good. At work I am shocked by how mean and nasty many children are towards adults and other children. While I do believe and know people who are genuinely good, I think they are quickly falling into the minority. We are a selfish society plagued by greed.

If you could change the custom of shaking hands, what would you replace it with?

  * Hmmm, I am not sure. I don't mind the fake air kissing since there is no real body contact involved (yes I am a germ phobe) But that would involve a lot of people in my personal space that I don't want there. Maybe we could smile and just give each other a 'thumbs up' or 'hang ten' sign.

What is something that you enjoy that is a chore for most other people?

  * I actually enjoy doing and folding laundry. NOW, putting it away is a whole other entity in itself. My laundry never seems to make it back where it belongs and putting away all the boys laundry is a pain in the rear. Ironically, Hubby never gets his clothes put away either. They pile up on his dresser, sometimes tumbling to the floor. Yet another reason we are a perfect mathc!

Want to join in?? Check out here for this weeks questions and participants.

do you have a giant?

As any mother, I have plenty of embarrassing stories. But when I read Jen's prompt for today, ONE immediately came to mind.

Between my pre-med background and reading any article available discussing the in depth variety of names for one's genitalia , I decided that we would call a spade a spade. So when Drake asked me where my penis was I told him, "Mommy played with hers too much and it fell off!" Sadly, Hubby was in ear shot and went ballistic. I thought it was quite funny - Hubby did not. So I retracted my "Mommy's fell off" comment and went with the Kindergarten Cop version - "Boys have penises and girls have vaginas."     "YOU have a giant!?"   "No sweetie, Mommy has a vagina."     "Daddy!! Mommy has a GIANT!!!"   Needless to say Hubby stood there snickering away at our son's new found interest with giants.

Fast forward a few months. It is spring and I, *gasp*, was trying to find a swimsuit so I could participate in the obligatory 'Mommy and Me' swim class. So, with my little gem at my side, I grab a handful of suits and headed into the changing room. Then my sweet obnoxiously loud and inquisitive gem begins bombarding me with questions. "Mommy, why do you keep your underwear on? Is that to hide your giant? Mommy, I want to see you giant. Is it still there??" 

Of course I am NOT the only person in the changing room and pretty soon the room is filled with giggles. They have either caught on that 'giant' means vagina or they think I am some tranny that has a giant penis hiding in her underwear. I of course, am mortified, so I grabbed the suits and b-lined out of there before anyone could get a glimpse of my crimson face.

Fast forward another year. I am almost 7 months pregnant and am pushing Drake in the cart at the local Tar-chay. My obnoxious sweet gem has the memory of an elephant! As I was looking at hair products Drake started asking about his new brother.

Drake: Mommy, where is my baby brother coming out?

Me: Well, God made a special place for Mommy's to have babies.

Drake: Ooooh........ Is the baby coming out of your giant?!

Me: Shhhhhh, well, yes....but we don't talk about things like that in a store.

Drake: Ok.

I should have known to never trust the silence of a four year old because as soon as anyone walked passed us, Drake would loudly proclaim, "My baby is coming out of my Mommy's giant." He stated it to EVERYONE. I could not get out of there fast enough.

Looking back it IS quite funny. In the moment - not so much. Now i think of it as good ammo for the future. Plus, it will be a great story to share with his prom date!!

i'm your mother??

"I'm your Mother not your..." is a widely used phrase, at least in our house. My boys have heard the barrage of sayings, including "I'm not your slave, maid, butt wiper, clothes/underwear picker upper, nanny, short order cook, referee" - just to name a few.  But to be totally honest, there are those days where my boys leave me shaking my head and I find myself asking, "I'm your mother??" No sooner then the words leave my lips then I hear my mother's ever looming voice inflicting the age old curse, "I hope you get a child JUST. LIKE. YOU."  Now in hindsight, I am realizing what an evil and mean curse that is!  

The world of boys has often times left me speechless. For example - why must my three year old come and press his cute little hynie up against me and make farting noises? Or pull down the front of his pants and scream "Nudie boy!! Nudie boy!!"  Why do both of my boys use the 'no hands' method when going to the bathroom when I specifically remember teaching them to use their hands? Unless of course they aren't in the bathroom, because then they can't keep their hands off of it! There are days their whining makes my ears bleed and their bickering can make me want to poke myself in the eyes with sharp objects. Then somedays, they surprise me and I am reminded how blessed I am to have tow rambunctious boys to keep me busy and on my toes. And for that I am thankful. Now for Pete's sake will you please pick up your socks! I am NOT the maid!!!

back to mom - a new definition of a quite foreign phrase

With the kids back in school you would think this would be the most opportune time to take back some time for me, the mom. I am sad to say that this is so not the case. Back to school also means back to work and even worse, back to schedules. Where is the time for me??? With crazy schedules it always seems as though I am last on the list. Because of that, last winter I packed on 15 pounds. Yikes!! Because all my pants were too tight I was left sporting the oh so not fashionable muffin top. Be afraid, be very afraid. But wait... do you hear that?

Da da dum.... it is hubby to the rescue!! Now I will take this opportunity to mention that I did try to get hubby to pose for a quick picture in tights and a cape but my begging and pleading fell on def ears. Well not actually, but I am trying to keep this PG so I can't get into all the gorey details! So for now, this generic picture of Superman will have to do! When hubby got a new job and started working from home he decided it would be worthwhile to finally join a gym.

Me: Do you promise to watch the kids so I can go too??
Hubby: Yes. I will go on my lunch hour and you can go after work.
Me: So, you won't give me a hard time when I want to go?
Hubby: Nope.
Me: Excellent!! Sign us up!

So hubby signed us up. It went really well for a while. Then of course summer hit, the kids were home and there just didn't always seem to be enough time to do all the stuff I wanted too. I joined the Tweightloss Challenge in hopes to have others, on the same journey, hold me accountable. It has been an amazing experience. I am happy to say that I am eight pounds down with aspirations to loose another six. I have a feeling these last few will be the death of me. Cold weather is creeping in and that means snuggley nights on the couch. The couch also equals snacking. I really love to partake in a snack on the couch while I unwind after a long day. Hubby also snacks on the couch so the temptation is always there... munching next to me. I should also mention that I am going to Cancun in a month and would like must be swim suit ready. So this week I am back on the horse, eating healthy and hitting the gym. With a few set backs here and there I am really trying making an extra effort to take time for me because if Momma isn't happy (and healthy) then nobody is happy!!

How do you take time for yourself? I am always looking for new ideas!

for better or for worse

Ahhhhh, marriage. Is there anything finer? If we are all honest then the answer is, on most days, no. Now, there are those days where you would love to toss your spouse out of a fast moving vehicle just to watch the bounce effect, but for the most part, they are there to suffer with you - through thick and thin. So, in honor of the tie that binds, Absolutely Bananas has us writing about marriage. Not the schmoopy sugary type - the truth. The bare nakedness of marriage in real life. Fasten you seat belts folks, it's about to get bumpy!

Since this is the second (and last) time around for both of us, we each came into the marriage with baggage. Mine was emotional and his... well we don't talk about his baggage on this blog. Though I will point out he was nice enough to bring a television, lawn mower and Bow Flex-like machine into the relationship. Yep. He travels light. Through the past 11 years there have been a lot of good times. There have also been some dark, dark times. I grew up in a house where my parents didn't fight or argue in front of us. Whoa momma, that was an eye opener!! I had to learn that it was Ok to 'fight' with you spouse and that every fight wouldn't lead to divorce court. By the way, I have this mastered by now, thanks for asking. He had to learn that I was a yeller by nature. Sometimes I just yell. It isn't directed at him all the time, but when I get fired up about something so does my voice. He now knows what it is like to have a sassy red head as his wife!

We, as a couple, are very similar. So much so that you wouldn't think we would mesh the way we do. Don't worry!! We have our opposites too. There is a strict 'no politics conversations' in our marriage bi-laws. Though every now and then he tries to dabble and of course, fires me up. (insert yelling here)

I can easily say that hubby is my best friend. This helps me tolerate his inability to put anything directly in the hamper and helps him deal with my inability to rinse out dishes. We both love the ocean and feel completely calm and centered with one whiff of salt water. I love his surfer/ skater bad side and he loves me for my inner Betty. We can finish each others thoughts and have often texted or IM'd the same things to each other at the same moment. We also have this weird habit of taking self portraits of ourselves while we are on vacation. They often involve alcohol so they are usually silly, off centered or out of focus. They also always make us look like we have three chins! But every time we look back at our photos they make us laugh and remember the amazing time we had.


So to my hubby, thanks for being you. I look forward to growing old with you and whacking you with my cane.

cooking katastrophe

Kitchen catastrophes thankfully aren't a common occurrence in our abode. I can say with much confidence that it is because I do not do much of the cooking. Hubby does most of the cooking while I handle the baking. Often times, when I do attempt to cook, it does not end up the way it is supposed to be. Now, don't get me wrong, I do have a handful of staple dinners that I can make that would make your mouth water, but when it comes to cooking any type of meat I am screwed challenged.

My most embarrassing cooking catastrophe was when I tried to make a layered jello dessert for a "Back to School" picnic for all the employees at the school I work for. I was just hired so it was my first picnic and I wanted to make something everyone would enjoy. I pulled out my handy dandy Betty Crocker cookbook and looked for the perfect summer side dish. Ooooo, Jello! Who doesn't love Jello, pretzels and whip cream? I studies the directions, doubled checked to make sure I had all the ingredients and began my masterpiece. I thought everything was going well. The directions seemed easy enough, you just needed to wait between steps. I put the final jello layer on top and placed the dish in the fridge to set. I even left extra time so it could set over night. As I periodically checked on it I noticed it was not setting, in fact it was beginning to seep down into the other layers! I went to bed and sent a prayer to the cooking gods to please, pluuleeze let my Jello set. When I awoke the next morning I saw that the cooking gods truly hated me. There was a layer of ooze on top of the dish and the jello that had soaked through the other layers had gelatinized at the bottom. Crap!! But instead of trashing it (like any normal person would do) and just pick up a store bought side, I threw another layer of whip cream on top and took it to the picnic. Let's just say once the cool temps of the fridge were gone it turned into a dish of goo. Thankfully no one saw me put the dish on the table so I didn't have to lay claim to it during the picnic!

10 things i’ve learned from my child

Absolutely bananas Has decided to do a Monday writing prompt. Brilliant! Especially since I have been feeling so mentally and physically fried the past few weeks. Today's prompt is to write about ten things you have learned from you children. Only ten?!? This may be tougher then I thought.

1. The seat will always be up, the toilet will never be flushed and there will always be socks or a random pair of underwear on the floor. I haven't been able to change their Dad, I won't be able to change them. I will rack it up to a genetic mutation.

2. Genetic mutation #2 - my boys were born with dirt magnets under their finger nails. Two seconds out of the shower and they look like they have been farming all day.

3. It is more fun to play with Tonka trucks in the sand then maintain a clean and pristine house.

4. Laundry left in the basket will procreate and multiply to epic proportions. Maybe it is better on the floor after all?

5. My heart has room to completely and equally love three different boys for a million different reasons.

6. I can turn into one mean and wicked Momma Tiger when one of my cubs is in trouble.

7. I will eventually go broke trying to feed my endless pits of children. Yes, our pantry will always be empty 2 hours after I go to the store... sigh.

8. I will break my "I don't cry" rule at every parent/ teacher conference, school concert and Science Fair. As they get older I am sure this will also include school dances, sporting events and any other random heart wrenching thing.

9. The traits that I like about me do NOT bode well in a person under 4 feet tall. Especially when they are standing in front of me, hands on their hips and giving me my look right back at me.

10. I would not trade my chaotic, sleep deprived, messy life for anything else in the world!