danger will robinson, danger!

We are officially at one week and counting for Grady's surgery. Yes, that is right, he is having his surgery on May 1st. 'May day! May day! Mother down in recovery room three!' Kind of over dramatic I know, but truly, I am beginning to see a lot of warning signs. For example, on Tuesday I was working with a little boy in my office and he was so excited, (a little too much if you ask me), to show me the new bracelet his mom had gotten him. "Look! It's reversible. I have to make sure you can see this red part though cause it's a medical bracelet." "Oh really?? What for?" "Because I almost died this summer getting my tonsils out. I stopped breathing and everything! So now I have to wear this in case I have to go to the hospital again." This is when I casually ask the little boy if I can further inspect his bracelet so I can see (and research) what disorder he has, how many kids have it and how many more panic attacks I need to have before next week. Can you see the need for Paxil yet?? What does a girl have to do to get her hands on some of that? I am also extremely stressed by the fact that I do not know what time Grady's surgery is and what I am going to do with Drake. My neighbor has offered to take him but I can't give her any sort of timeline or expectation. Plus, I have the whole 'emotional Drake' issue. Add that to psychotic mother issues and you can see why my husband wants to run for the hills! I even contemplated bringing Drake with us but quickly decided against it. Hubby thought we should keep his day as normal as possible, especially since I will not be in any condition to field Drake’s never ending stream of questions. So till next Wednesday, we are in limbo. The nurse told us they would call sometime Wednesday evening to give us our surgery time. Seriously... You won’t have any idea until then? I find that difficult to wrap my brain around. This Momma has got to plan. Can’t they see that this uncertainty is adding to the chaos and anxiety that is swarming my brain?!? I should also take this time to warn you that I am sure the sanity level of my blogs will severely drop in the next few days. Hope you can all tolerate the insanity and garbled mess that I may, or may not, be typing. Till then I think I may just have to subdue myself with coffee and chocolate. Starbucks anyone??