brave yet stupid girl

I have just, for the first time in my life, purchased a string bikini. I still cannot believe I did it, but was running out of options for our upcoming trip. My husband feels I should be like the locals and go topless. Has he SEEN what nursing two kids has done to my girls? They are in sad and pathetic shape. I even feel embarrassed at my annual exam and she sees them all day! From being flat chested my entire life, then ballooning out to a C+/ D and then shrinking again.....well you can imagine the destruction. He also said I could not wear any of my "mommy" suits on our trip. Well, that leaves me nothing but a bikini I had pre-babies that does not cover my redistributed butt and hips. So while shopping on my lunch break I came across the swimsuit clearance section. I justified the purchase on many levels. First, it was 75% off (can you believe someone would pay $80 for a string bikini???) Second, I don't need to listen to my husband complain and gripe about MY swim wear choices. Third, it will definitively make him happy. Fourth, I don't need to go topless with the natives (VERY important) Fifth, I can add it to the list of things I thought I would never do in my life. Don't worry, I will not be posting a picture of me in this swimsuit nor will I allow any pictures to even be taken. At least I can guarantee that no one in the Dominican Republic will know me and gossip about how I look in this suit. For now I will just use it as motivation to eat healthy and stay on my work out regimen and pray I have the courage to walk on the beach in it!!

counting down to paradise

I have officially begun to countdown for a trip I am taking in October. I know it sounds a bit childish, but it is the first time my husband and I have been away without the kids in seven years. Sad, I know. How we have survived and stayed married this long is still up for grabs with that extensive length of time without a break from the kids. So after a lot of begging, pleading and assuring her that her golf and ski schedule would not be compromised AND offering to buy my mother's plane ticket, she agreed to come. I also threw in the fact that both boys would be in school so there wasn't really THAT much for her to do. A little lie to get what you want never hurt anyone! (at least that is my story and I am sticking to it) So the grandmother is coming to watch the brood for 6 days. During those six days I will be planting my white butt in the sands of Punta Cana. We opted for the all-inclusive deal so the beverages will be flowing. Hey, I am Irish and it is noon somewhere, right?! I am also fantasizing about the opportunity to sleep past 6am for five days in a row, napping every afternoon and going out every night. I am also wondering if, in my older age, I will be able to keep up with my lifestyle of days past. On the flip side I have also already begun to worry about the boys, the dog, will they actually make it to school, will she traumatize them the way she traumatized me, will Grady not like her, will she complain every time I call to check in, the possibilities are endless. My husband says we leave, actually run, and hope for the best. My thought is that I should start praying now.

et tu brute?

Yes, even you Brutus! Finally today I could upload my picture of Brutus Buckeye celebrating a victory. Hopefully we will see him do this many times this season. Otherwise I will be a crabby girl.

looking for advice

Any ideas on how to get gogurt out of a floor heating vent and the tracks of a sliding glass door? Oh yes, this is my life. Guess we learned to finger paint at pre-school today. And to think, I am paying for him to go there!

school glorious school

Yeah! The glorious day has finally arrived! School! Drake was so excited this morning he was incessantly watching the clock. It got to be a little much when he would announce the time every minute. I started having him do chores to pass the time but that quickly brought on complaining...shocking. So I whipped out my handy dandy camera and did the traditional "back to school" photos. Every year since he has been in school I have taken his picture in front of a bush in the front of the house. When I tried this morning, we were both assaulted by a menacing swarm of killer mosquitoes. I kid you not, they were out for blood. We stepped of our front step and were immediately surrounded and overtaken. We were both lucky to get out of there alive! So I had to settle for him sitting on the steps inside. Guess I will have to take pictures in the front at a later date and pretend they were the first day of school. Who will know?
It was also Grady's first day at pre-school. He was initially excited when he woke up. He told me he was going to "big boy school". This facade quickly faded when he realized he had to wear clothes to big boy school. This led to a 20-minute tantrum/ wrestling match to get him dressed and ready. It is sad to think that two grown adults cannot get a two year old dressed. I almost opted to send him in just a diaper, but since it was his first day I wanted to make somewhat of a good impression on his teacher. He also refused to eat breakfast, put his shoes on and get in the car seat. The only thing he agreed to was carrying his backpack and then he didn't want to take it off! As you can see, there are no pictures of his first day. I can't say I particularly want to scrapbook a page of him screaming bloody murder as he was ripped from my leg. Guess I will have to fake his first day too. What is the world of motherhood coming too???

yeah buckeyes!

It was the first weekend of college football and I had to miss Ohio States opening game. They won - YEAH - even though they only played Youngstown State. So I guess technically I did not miss out on too much. I am so geared up for this season! hee hee I am also hoping that my brother come through for me on my birthday weekend so we can road trip to the Michigan game. Feel the pressure brother of mine!!

I have this great picture of Brutus the buckeye running with the OSU flag but my stupid blogger is having issues uploading. Damn blogger!! Someone must not be a buckeyes fan....maybe my husband cursed it. For some reason he is a Wisconsin fan. I know it is sad, but I love him anyway!

On another note, it is the start of school tomorrow for the boys. Grady has learned a new trick, not sure where, but it is oh so delightful. When he is asked to do something he particularly does not want to do he covers his ears and say "I no hear you Momma!! I no hear you!" Yeah, it was a long weekend in St Louis. I am sure his new pre-school teacher will just love the "I don't hear you" line. Now I just need to sit and wait for the phone call. Unfortunately I am sure it will come sooner then I think. Guess I had better start picking out a REALLY nice Christmas present for his teacher...

road trip!

I am blogging off for the long weekend. We are taking a road trip to St. Louis for my brother's wedding reception. Should be lots of fun, as long as the kids cooperate. All of us in one hotel room could be very bad. Last time we did that Grady would not sleep in his pack and play and had to fall asleep on one of our chests. Not fun. Hopefully he will be exhausted by the days activities that he will just crash. Ok, who am I kidding?! Guess I had a bit to much crack in the pipe today. He is going to be soo amped and off schedule....I can see it all now, and it is going to be bad. A two year old on their second or third wind is very hard to bring down. I will be sure to catch all those glorious moments on my camera so you can all laugh at my expense on Tuesday. Enjoy your long weekend!!

slightly shocking

Now, I am not one to brag ad nauseum about their children or boast about every feat they accomplish but I have to say the news I received last night was exciting and slightly shocking. But my excitement is overriding my good moral judgment and I have to share - Drake got picked to be the quarterback of his tackle football team. Now to many parents this is probably a normal occurrence and not that big of deal. To others, they use it as a way to redefine themselves by living through their children. For me, well, I guess I am still trying to grasp the concept.

If you know or have ever met my seven year old you will know exactly where I am coming from. He is motorically challenged. He is the brain not the brawn. His gross motor skills are lacking and sometimes painful to watch. And I am totally fine with that and love him for everything that he is. He also is blind as a bat and has no depth perception (thus the ever changing cool specs!) But last year his Dad told him he could play tackle football, without consulting me I might add. WHAT?! Are you crazy? Have you seen our son in sports?? Ironically he was pretty good for a 6 year old. He caused 4 fumbles and sacked the quarterback of the other teams three times during his season. We were all shocked…he was totally stoked. As long as he didn’t have to catch a ball he was fine. Guess it is pretty easy to see large moving targets in front of you J

So that brings us to this fall. Drake loves Brett Farve and has been practicing throwing the ball most of the summer. How his little arm can throw so hard, with a darn good spiral, I haven’t a clue. The past two weeks at practice the boys have been trying out for positions. I was trying to prep him that he may not get the position he wanted. He was OK with that and said he also wanted to be a lineman. Well, last night they got their assignments and he gets to QB. The smile on his face brought tears to my eyes, and his too. I am glad he is so happy and has accomplished something he really wanted. I am also perfectly happy knowing he will probably never be a Brett Farve. But if he is, I will still love him all the same!

why men aren't moms

In an attempt to ease the pain of shopping with a toddler, my husband offered to stay home while I went to the grocery store. Now, while this sounds great, he also required a bit of prodding as I was going after I dropped the older one off at football at 6:30. This is much to close to the two year olds bedtime and during the prime witching hour. We both agreed it was too risky to attempt and the thought of the possible ugliness within the store won. So, with that being said, my husband was then in charge of putting the two year old to bed. The same two year old that will not keep his diaper on and must be wrapped and wrapped in duct tape. I was no more then three steps in the door when the previously mentioned husband stopped me and warned me I was going to be mad. THAT, is a loaded statement with endless possibilities. He then informed me he did not have the heart to put duct tape in our son's diaper. He said Grady was screaming "No tape!!" and "Sorry Daddy!" while stroking my husband's cheek (this is how Grady would say he was sorry before he could talk thanks to my friend Jen) My husband also insisted that Grady promised "at least ten times" that he would not take his diaper off. Only a man would believe the promises of a two year old.... sigh. So when I went to check on him, lo and behold, he was sans diaper. He also burst into tears as I picked him up along with a diaper and duct tape. I, as a mother, obviously have no heart. He did eventually fall asleep and the diaper stayed on!! Sadly, I have a soccer game tonight, which means Daddy is in charge of putting the kids to bed again. Hopefully he is not jaded twice.

stylin' at seven?

This is the interaction that occurred as my seven year old was getting ready this morning. I am fearful that this is a glimpse of what the new school year may have in store for me and scared that this is becoming an issue already. Where did my sweet boy who let me dress him go??
K-Drake, come here and let me fix your shorts.
D - Why?
K- Cause they don't look right (I straighten them and pull them up to where , if he had one and wasn't such a bean pole, his waist would be)
D - Mom! I don't want them there.
K - Why?
D - Because that's where Grandpas wear their pants. I look older if I wear them lower AND its cool.

And so it begins......

stinky boy

As we were about to leave for church this morning, the unfortunately oh so familiar smell of Grady's diaper wafted past my nose. I quickly scooped him up and told him he was stinky and needed his diaper changed. He tried to insist he was not stinky but his smell preceded him. I tried telling him that the other children would not want to play with a stinky boy. And his response still cracks me up.
K - Grady, I need to change your diaper
G - No diaper Momma
K - Yes diaper. No one wants to play with a boy who is sooo stinky. You don't want to be the stinky boy do you?
G - I wanna be stinky boy Momma! No friends!

With this I burst into hysterical laughter and changed his diaper because he found himself just as funny. Again, just another reason I oh so love my boys!

something to ponder

Tape this to your bathroom mirror where you can read it every day. You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.

1. There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. You are special and unique.
8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
10. When you think the world has turned its back on you take another look.
11. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.

And if that doesn't perk your spirits, well it's nothing a good stiff drink won't fix and then read it again!

foiled again!

Alright, I am now officially out of ideas. I went to check in on my little angel of a two year old last night only to find him in his chubby little birthday suit!! This is even after I duct taped his diaper on and put tight pajama pants on. I think I either have a Houdini in the making or a nudist colony president. Any ideas? In my weak attempt I did only put the tape on so it cover 3/4 of the diaper. I guess I can try and wrap it around a few times like some of the people of the web mentioned they did, but that sounds a bit extreme and mean. I can't imagine coming at him with huge scissors every morning to try and pry it off but I guess desperate times are calling for desperate measures. I am open to any other thoughts or ideas you may know or have heard of. Luckily he has not done any Houdini magic at the sitters this week. We shall have to wait and see what pre-school in a few weeks has in store. The thoughts are already haunting me!!!

belly boys

As the days of summer are quickly dwindling, so are the days of bare bellies. Don't worry, I am talking about the boys, not mine. Drake has a tummy I would die for and Grady has the tummy I have. Sadly, it is not as cute on me as it is on him. His big round belly pops out of most shirts so I have get him 3T instead of 2T. Plus he loves showing off his belly button to anyone who will look. This is another thing I will not do, especially since mine has been badly misshapen by my two pregnacies. Now Drake..... if I could get him to wear a shirt it is a good day. But, if I had that stomach I too would not be wearing shirts. I bet John would love that! School is right around the corner and so are the warm wears of fall and winter. So for these last few days I will enjoy my belly boys!

it's a girl!!!!!

I would like to welcome and present the newest member of the family klan - Melanie! Finally some estrogen around here.....it has been LONG over due. She is, as you can see, a beautiful addition to our family and I wish her and my brother all the love and happiness that wedded bliss can bring. I will save the sad truths and realities for another time. They did just get married, don't want to scare her away already! Though she is stronger then I initially expected. Melanie has heard the horror stories of the obnoxiously large and over baked babies we produce and she still married my brother. God bless her and cute little frame!! guess maybe one of those over baked babies is somewhere in the future, but hopefully not too far. Can you imagine the gorgeous chitlins they are going to produce?? Bring on the babies!

neurotic issues

Well I am back at school and feeling very overwhelmed. Now most of it is probably my fault, as I have a strict "no school in summer" rule but I don't think teachers should be in their rooms all summer. Hey, it is my rule and I am sticking by it!! Anyway, the past two days have been filled with unpacking, cleaning and of course...organizing. As I was looking around my room and making my list of labels to put on all the doors I began to feel a bit self conscious about my extreme OCD tendencies. (No comments from you Beth!!) Now this does not carry over into all aspects of my life, at least not anymore, as anyone who has "just stopped by" can attest to. But there are certain areas that I still hold rigid, one place being my office at work. After adjusting and repositioning my bulletin boards a zillion times they are all finally perfect. I even added some Women's Cup posters, not very therapyish but again, it works for me. (and John won't let me hang them at home) Now I just have to wait for my labels to be laminated and I will almost be ready to officially start working....at least organizationally!

friday night casino lights

After a traditional visit to Irish fest on Friday night my husband thought it would be fun to surprise me with our next stop before meeting friends for drinks. I was taken aback when he pulled into the local, and only, casino. I had not been since college and even then it was only to play midnight bingo. They had remodeled and expanded since I had been there and are in the process of expanding again. I am not a gambler by any means and find no joy in slots or tables but thought I would give it a try. We walked in to one of the scariest places on earth, at least what I could see through the intense clouds of smoke. It was Friday, which means payday, so people were pushing to get at he slot machines. A vast majority of these people looked as if they should not be putting any of their money into these machines, but who am I to judge? Between the smell of months of stale smoke, body order and whatever the restaurant was serving, I was quickly sent into sensory overload. We found an empty nickel slot and played our ten dollars. I think we lasted a whole ten minutes before we blew through it. We did win some back but of course, quickly clicked it away. I can guarantee I will never be back but at least now I can say I tried!

sticky issues

Well, we are on night 2 of the duct tape and it is not going well. Grady discovered that the tape was impeding his ability to take his diaper off and became quite upset. He spent 30 minutes screaming "NO tape Momma!! No tape diaper!" When I tried to calm him down and explain why he had the tape on he got quiet and said,"Sorry Momma, tape off now?". My answer of "no" induced another tirade. Eventually he cried himself to sleep. But on a good note, the diaper was on this morning and I do not have extra laundry to do before nap time....excellent!

musings of a seven year old

The scene - Drake and I are sitting on the side of the pool and Grady is trying to splash us. Another little boy is swimming with his Dad. The little boy keeps asking question after question about the pool, Grady, etc. Finally Drake gets perturbed.
D - Mom, that boys asks WAY too many questions.
M - Really? Why?
D - Because he keeps asking and asking and isn't stopping!
M - Hmmm, isn't that what you do? You ask a lot of questions too you know.
D - Well, yeah but I ask GOOD questions, that's the difference.

back to the grind

Today was our official "back to school, end of summer" party for work. Since it was a pool party I decided to leave the kids at home so I could enjoy adult conversation and beverages without constant interruptions. It was nice to see everyone from work and catch up on their summers. But it also made me sad...where did summer go? My "To Do" list is still unfinished, there is still a lot of warm sunlight to enjoy and well, quite frankly, I do not look forward to getting up at 5am everyday. I know I am spoiled with my work schedule but be that as it may the early wake up for my commute does get old some days. So now the final countdown has arrived and I guess I must take it in stride. Only 180 school days till next summer!!

pregnant and the revenge of bad karma

OK, since I am sure I got your attention with that title, let me be the first to say that I am not pregnant, though that would be bad Karma! I want to give a little shout out to my BFF Ann in NH and her new belly inhabitant. YEAH!! I get to be an auntie again! While I still question the possibility of her first son, who turned one this past weekend, being a love child product of her and my husband, I am very excited she is finally out in the open with her new bundle. I will post a picture of her beautiful one year old later and ask for your vote. My BFF is Greek, dark eyes, hair and skin, and her husband is Italian, dark eyes and hair but light skinned. Their "supposed" son has the bluest eyes I have ever seen, except on my husband. I am OK with it as long as she doesn't seek child support... ha ha ha

Now to my bad karma. I tried the duct tape to keep my son's diaper secure and it worked...till about 3am. This is when I heard, "Momma!!! Momma your bed!!" When I stumbled into his room the first thing I smelled was urine. NO WAY I thought. There is no way he got that diaper off. Well he didn't but he did wet through his diaper, his t-shirt, his shorts and all his bedding. Curse you diaper God's!! So as I am trying to get him cleaned and changed in the dark, I can't get his soaking wet diaper off. More cursing. Finally he is in a dry diaper and clean but he is very much awake by this point. Needless to say he finally settled down and went back to sleep around 5am. Java is a very good friend of mine today. Have a sitter tonight so I can't ask her to duct tape him. maybe I can slip it on while he is asleep when I get home....or I can take my chances and wish for the best!

no more miss nice mommy

OK, after this morning all bets are off. I am done trying to be the "good PC mommy". Tonight I am whipping out the duct tape. Now, if you have been keeping up with my mad blogging you will remember that Grady likes to take off his diaper. Last week he tried to tinkle on the cat. After a lot of online research I found many parents share this dilemma and have resorted to duct taping the diapers on at night to prevent their little ones from taking them off. At first I thought...YES!!...then when I was about to try it I felt bad and chickened out. I have been using a tighter pair of zippered jean shorts that he can't wiggle out of. Well those were in the wash last night so my husband put him to bed in elastic band jammie pants. (side note: I was not home, due to a soccer game, to put him to bed or this incident would not have happened) So this morning I hear him calling and walk into a puddle on his floor. He was smart enough to aim outside the crib so I didn't have more laundry to do but did leave me quite the mess to clean on the floor. The thing that irks me the most is how proud he is of himself for the previously mentioned incident. "Look Momma...I pee!!" Said with the biggest smile imaginable. Roaaarrrr! I tell him he was naughty and he needs to keep his diaper on. "But Momma, I pee!" With this I give up. Obviously he thinks his body's inner workings are brand new. Sad, sad how disillusioned he is. So tonight he will be duct taped...unless I wimp out again.

workin' at the car wash

As I was trying to wash my car, a "helper" quickly appeared. While this worked for a short time while I was soaping and rinsing the car, it quickly took a turn for the worse. Grady got stuck in the "soaping up" cycle. As soon as I would rinse and dry my car, he was back with a sudsy sponge washing all the clean and dry areas. I did not want to wash my car three hundred times so I finally decided to provide him with his own car to wash.

This was quite the hit. He had a blast spraying, scrubbing and drying his own coupe plus it was pretty nasty and was in desperate of a good bath! It even provided us enough time to pack up all of our camping gear and our two tents that were airing out in the garage from our camping trip last weekend. I will have to store this tid bit of information for a later time when I can't think of anything to occupy him while I try and get stuff done outside. now, if I can just get him to pull weeds we would be golden!

new mistress?

I had the luxury and intense pleasure of driving this car today. It is a Porsche Carrera 4S and it is heaven on earth. John wished it was his new mistress/ girlfriend but unfortunately he is still stuck with me. Now, I will admit that I was terrified driving this car as it was my friends, it was not even a day old and it cost more than my college and Masters tuition put together...and I went to a private girls college!! But once I got past the initial fear and revved the engine, she was divine. She was such a pretty color of red and went really, REALLY fast. Not that I would know.... just what I have been told ;) But on the other hand I am glad I don't have that car because it would get me into a LOT of trouble and I can guarantee I would accumulate a lot of tickets!!

set your timers

Feeling pressured by my friend Jes who decided to clean her house yesterday, and the fact that I have a babysitter coming tonight, I too opted to scrub down my house. It has gotten pretty nasty with the long days of summer, kids in and out of the house, and well...just plain laziness on my end. And since it is summer, it is my sole responsibility to clean and care for the house since I am off for summer break. I have been disputing this role for years but my husband refuses to step up to the plate in the summer months, even if I let the house go. So I snapped on my rubber gloves and started scrubbing. Ewww is the first word that comes to mind. I even scrubbed the doors throughout the house. Now the fun begins!! How long with the cleanliness last? This is another reason I shy away from always cleaning. My tornado like two year old brings things out faster then I can put them away and my seven year old's meal end up more on the floor then in his mouth. (maybe this is why he is always sooo hungry??) But today it was me that made the first mess. While opening a new container of Nesquick, I was ripping the protective foil wrapper away when....yes that is right...dry chocolate milk mix flew all over the counter and newly washed floor. CURSES!!! Why oh why?! Grrrrrrr, and it was my own fault, no one to blame but me. Hmmmm, well the timer said exactly 4 minutes and 52 seconds. A new record for this house. Maybe next time I decide to clean we will make the five minute mark!

diaper ban

I have decided I am banning Pampers diapers from my house. I don't know what marketing guru thought it was such a great idea to put the different Sesame characters on each of the diapers. Do they not have 2 year olds?? Grady can tell the difference between the characters and is picky about "who" he wears. I just spent the last 20 minutes convincing him that it was OK to wear Ernie. All the while he is screaming at the top of his lungs, "NO Ernie!!!! NOO Ernie!!" What is wrong with Ernie? He is actually one of my favorites. And I won't even get started about what happens if he sees Big Bird coming at him... that is just plain ugly. And his diaper of choice you query?? Why Elmo of course and sometimes cookie monster, but only if I sing the "C is for Cookie" song. I have been seriously contemplating the whole potty training thing, due to the constant diaper battles and the fact that he takes his off any chance he gets. But I don't think he is ready. Granted when I say that the underlying theme is I am not ready. I have in my mind that he will take forever to train and don't feel like investing the rest of my summer trying to show him how great the potty is. Though he has gone on the potty three times in the past two days, excluding the cat incident, but that is just because he was copying Drake and John. Guess it is a start though.... just not ready to grab that bull by the horns just quite yet.

can we please keep our diaper on?!

Scene one: Me, sitting at the kitchen table checking my email. Boys supposedly brushing teeth upstairs. A faint voice says, "Momma...I pee".
"What Grady?"
A little louder now, "Momma.... I pee kitty!!"
"Oh for the love of Pete!!"
I quickly get up and run into the front entry way. Sure enough, there stands my two year old in all his naked glory, trying to pee over the balcony on the sleeping cat below. What on earth is this child thinking? What possesses him to do this to his lovable and faithful pet?? What have I done to deserve this demonic seed??

Scene two: I am doing the dishes while the boys are playing upstairs, somewhat quietly. Suddenly a seven year old boy bellows:
"Mom!!! Grady is taking off his diaper again!!!"
"Grrrrrrr!.....Ok, I am coming!"
"Mom!! You had better hurry!!"
"WHY!?"
"He just pooped on the floor!"
At this point I am ready to fling open the front door and run for the hills. Is this truly my life and if so why is it happening to me?!? All my bad teenage year's karma is coming back to haunt me and bite me in the butt. I shudder to think of what HIS teenage years will hold. It reminds me of a story that my husband shared with me...scary actually. I am sure he would just LOVE it if I shared...or not, but I am going to anyway. So, he had come home one night in high school a wee bit inebriated. He quickly fell asleep, some others may call it passing out, and awoke a while later needing to use the bathroom. He thought he entered the bathroom but in fact, he entered his closet. You can easily finish the story. Glad I didn't have to do his laundry then!!

yet another new activity for me

I have found another new activity for me to partake in. I saw this t-shirt and instantly fell in love. Now, as most of you may or may not know, I am not limber by any means. I can't even touch my toes! I have tried yoga in the past to increase my flexibility, but it was to no avail. So when I saw that you could mix drinking and yoga.... well now, there is a sport for an irish lass! Though I don't think adding libations will increase my flexibility it will definitely make it a little more fun to participate in. Bring on the Namaste!

fiberous camping

Well, we survived our family camping trip to the dunes. The boys had a blast and enjoyed all that nature had to offer. They really enjoyed playing in the sand at the beach and jumping in the waves of the lake. While Drake was riding the waves Grady was jumping head first into them. I tried showing him how to body surf but he wanted nothing to do with it. He wanted to crash, head first, into the oncoming waves. Sigh.... do I really expect anything less? John and Drake tried to build a magnificent sand castle, Drake's words not mine, but that was quickly met with cries of fury and sadness as "the crasher" joined the scene. The crasher, aka Grady, was very happy to catapult himself forward and land belly first on anything that looked like a sand castle. This had to be strictly monitored, as there were many others on the beach trying to build sand castles. He got the smile and then went running. Luckily the sand slowed him down a bit and I could catch him before he got to anyone else’s sand formations!

We also got to experience "Grady the tree eater". This is not to be confused with a tree lover or the infamous tree hugger. No, Grady was definitely a tree eater. As we were trying to prepare dinner on Saturday evening Drake came running to inform us of the situation at hand. "Mom!!! Grady is eating the trees!" "He's what?" "He is eating the trees!" As I left to follow, sure enough, there was Grady taking a bite out of a tree. Obviously I have to get this boy more fiber!! When I told him "no" he quickly ran to the next tree and inflicted his vicious bite upon its definitely unclean bark. (as a side note, I was really struggling with what he was actually eating and tried not to freak out while camping with others in nature) I am still not sure what prompted this vampire like attack on the trees. He definitely did not see any of us doing it. The things that pop into this boy’s head... some days it really frightens me. What will pop in there next?!? We were rained out and headed home a bit early. I say rained out but what I really mean is that from Saturday night at 10pm till, well all morning Sunday, we experienced torrential rain and lightening. Not a calming feeling in a tent, with metal, under trees, and seeing lightening flying left and right. Due to the "negative" attitude of a certain adult who had to pack up the car during the previously mentioned down pour, I have no pictures of this event. I tried but the death glare sent the camera quickly back into it's case. Bummer.....

flying twig

Drake - Mom! Mom come here! Hurry!!!
M - What?
D - Look Mom... a flying twig!
M - A what??
D - Right there... a flying twig!!
M - (chuckle) Drake, that is a grasshopper.
D - No, look. It looks like a twig and then it flies.
M - Yes, it does look like a twig. That is how it camoflages itself from predators. But it IS a grasshopper.
D - (saddened by the news) Oh.... I was hoping it was a twig.

Yet another reason why I love my boys!

voyage to the dunes

Well, we are off to the Indiana Dunes for a weekend of hiking and camping fun. Truth be told, I am a bit leery of hauling Grady camping. I am making John bring the pack and play so he will be confined when he is sleeping, or at least supposed to be sleeping. I am also hoping he will be completely exhausted everyday from playing on the beach and swimming. Hey, a girl can hope can't she? Be on the look out either Sunday night (pushing it) or Monday for the vacation review and pictures. Till then, have a great weekend!

strawberry bandit

As I peruse the fridge for something sweet to munch on I find a new carton of fresh strawberries. Oooooo, that will hit the spot. In fact, I will slice them and add them to the top of a scoop of ice cream! Hey, it's 90+ degrees; a girl needs her ice cream. When I open the carton I notice that all the strawberries have bites taken out of them. Hmmmm...... who could have done this? We must have a strawberry bandit in the house because I can't fathom why any of my beloved children would do this. Oh wait, what am I thinking?!? Of course my two year old would. Silly, silly girl. When confronted I got "the smile" and "I eat stawberry Momma". I asked him why he put them back in the container after taking only one bite out of them and he gleefully replied, "I eat stawberry Momma!" Well, guess that solves my ever-pressing mystery. Now bring on that ice cream!

soccer woes

Now I typically don't blog about soccer, at least not that much. But after my last two games I feel compelled to vent. It has come to my attention that some people forget the rules of soccer or that soccer is a contact sport. When I play soccer I am not super sweet Sally baking you cookies and offering up lemonade. I am there to play the game and play hard. Milwaukee soccer has turned into complaining and whining soccer and it is driving me MAD!!! This actually happened at my game Sunday. Two girls were going for the ball and both got a foot on it but our team won the possession. The other girl started complaining to the ref that he should have called a foul and our player should have apologized for bumping her. WHAT!?! Are you freakin' insane? You don't apologize for taking possession, that is the purpose of the game. Then, last night I played the most verbally annoying and complaining team ever. They complained about everything...they wanted us to get a yellow card for screaming "I got it!!!" to a high sailing goal kick. When I told the girl she was crazy she said "No, it's a rule". I will be researching that because I have never heard that rule before in my life. Then an opponent and I were both going up to head a ball, me being taller, won. She then proceeded to fake fall and yell at me that I injured her kidney. Last I checked my kidney is in my lower back region (and i was a pre-med major) and not in my head. Though if hers was there, it explains all her pissing and moaning about any little contact I made with her. I finally switched sides of the field because I was about ready to deck her just to get her to stop talking. The guy I switched with was not happy because she was then verbally assaulting him. Sorry Nik! If the team we played last night wasn't throttling us I would have allowed for a little bit of back talk but when you are up by 5 points, shut your hole and play the game. Ok, I am feeling better. I am really not a ranting maniac.... at least most of the time.

yet another bad mommy star..

Yeah JCR! I finally figured out how to post the video of Drake singing Nelly's "Hot in Here" from four years ago. I am so proud of myself. As I had blogged earlier, this video always makes me smile, though does not earn me a Mommy star because of what he is singing. None the less, it is a smile maker. And of course while in the car today 50 cent's "Disco Inferno" came on my ipod. Little Grady started singing away "Shake, shake it girl! Shake, shake it baby!" Aaahh, yes I have yet again earned another notorious bad mommy star. Sniff, sniff.....I am so proud!

PS: Sorry about the poor quality of the video. Guess it is one of the side effects of me trying to be techie.

Getting hot in here

diaper explosion

Aaaahhhhh! There are diapers every where! I left tonight to go to my soccer game (you didn't really think I was giving it up did you??) and left john home with da boyz. I came home to 70+ diapers all over the house. I had just scored the super ginormous packs on clearance at Target a few days ago so there are a plethera of diapers in my dining room. Grady had found one of the packs and, by the looks of it, had a great time pulling them all out and throwing them about. When I asked John about it he replied, "He was quiet and happy". WHAT??? Are you insane? Can you imagine what our house would look like if I let them be quiet and happy all day?!? Well, here is a glimpse of what 2 hours of happiness can do. Sigh.... and he didn't even hide the evidence of the crime. What is a lassie to do?

supersonic hearing

Question of the day - why is it my two year old cannot hear his name (or should I say chooses not to hear his name) when I am within two feet of him but can hear the "pffft" of a whip cream can from three rooms away? He once even heard it from upstairs, now that is a super power! I like to top my coffee with a bit of whip cream and caramel as a little treat to myself, a bit of morning sanity shall we say? Grady can hear the whip cream can from any room in the house and quickly comes running with his mouth wide open screaming, "aaahh aaahhh". Translated this means, squirt some whip cream in my mouth...NOW! If I don't spray him before my coffee he becomes most upset and the intensity of the "aahhs" greatly increases. And of course, not to be out done, Drake is quickly in suit to get his share. Today I locked myself in the laundry room to top my coffee as my supply is running low and I don't know when I can get to the store next. Luckily no one heard me as I even resorted to putting the dryer on for added noise. Wow, typing that makes me sound like an addict not wanting to share my stash. Be that as it may I have enough whip topping for my morning coffee tomorrow. Now, where will I hide tomorrow???

my new sport

Yes, I have decided to give up soccer. I know it is shocking but I have found a new sport that has tweaked my interest. You can check it out at the folloing site. http://faceball.org/ They even provided a video and printable directions so you can start your own league. I already have a list of who I want to play against...mooahahaha!! Let the games begin...

the specs

Here they are... the new specs. I wanted a nice picture while Drake wanted me to post a silly picture. So I compromised and posted both. Feel free to comment as you will not hurt my feelings either way. The pictures do not show the red that is in the glasses, sorry!

On another note, my two year old is refusing to eat anything but Fruit Loops today. He has almost consumed more then half a box. I guess he could be eating things that are much worse. On a good note... they are packed full of vitamins and minerals or at least that is what the box says. I just fear what will be visiting me later today and tomorrow when I am changing diapers!

new glasses

Well, Drake got his new glasses. He opted for black and red instead of Sally Jesse Rafael red...wheew! They are cute but they are taking me a while to get used to. He has been getting a lot of compliments on them but are other people just being nice?? I have been trying to figure out my issue with them and have not come to a definitive conclusion. It may be because they make him look older, they are more of a "teen" type frame and I am missing the days of blue and green glasses...hopelessly trying to hold on to his youth perhaps. Though I think right now I am leaning towards little B's quote of "They don't go with your voice". At this point that seems to sum it up the best. I will snap a shot of the new specs and post it tomorrow for your inspection.

first shiner

Well, it's official! Drake got his first shiner on his left eye, or at least it is in the making. While playing catch last night with Gabby he got nailed in the face with a softball from only 6 feet away. The ball was thrown so hard that there were even leather skid marks on his glasses lens (which was knocked out and I had to search the grass for). The encounter also left his frames broken so we will be getting new glasses today. By a fluke of nature we also have an eye doctor appointment this morning. They called at 4pm Friday afternoon saying they had a cancellation for today. Otherwise we could not get in until the end of October. Crazy! Drake has decided he wants "red ones"...hmmm, makes me think of Phil Donahue. Hopefully I have the power to veto!

could it be?!

Yes, for the first time, in ...... well I just don't remember anymore, but it has been a very very long time. I got to sleep past 8:30am!! It was 8:37 to be exact when my toddler decided to finally rise. Now I should include that he was originally up at 5:07am demanding that darn doughnut again. After a stern discussion that the doughnut does NOT exist and if he knew what was good for him he would go back to sleep, we all happily went back to sleep. I am also wondering where this obsession with doughnuts is coming from as it is becoming quite annoying and is now interfering with my sleep. Any insights would be greatly appreciated!

sightings

OK, let me preface this by saying that I am not a mean person and this entry is not to be construed as such. But I saw it, it made me laugh hysterically and if you told me about it I am sure my reaction would be the same. That being said here is what I witnessed today: It is a beautiful sunny afternoon. We just returned from soccer and the boys were playing in the driveway and backyard. I happen to glance up and look to the street. There wobbling away was a 40+ year old woman trying to ride an adult mountain bike. Now what made it even funnier was that she had childrens training wheels on her bike. This made it so she would rock from side to side, trying to keep her balance, like a five year old. It was truly hilarious to witness. The only thing better was if I caught it on camera...but I didn't want to make her feel bad. I know I would not be brave enough to try and learn to ride a bike, in the middle of the day under the scrutiny of others. So for that I give her all the credit in the world.

you know its a bad day when...

1. Your toddler wakes up at 6am screaming for a doughnut that is nonexistent in your house.
2. You only got 4 hours of sleep.
3. You decided to relive last Thursday and took both boys to get their pictures taken.
4. The a fore mentioned toddler decides he only needed an hour nap.
5. Your first sip of coffee is not until 4:00 pm!!
6. You have to go to a work function with your husband, you are beyond crabby and there is no chocolate in sight!

UPDATE - Did you know several Chambord margaritas can make every bad day a wee bit better!? :) And they are quite tasty!

more presents!

Another present for me! I ordered a new hoodie sweatshirt, (I know it's summer!), and it just came. Yeah! It is by a company called designgive. Part of their proceeds go towards the charity of your choice - very cool. What made it even better was that they were having a huge sale and everything they have was only $10... how can you go wrong? I was initially leary about a ten dollar sweatshirt but it is nice and thick and looks very cozy. Now I just have to wait for the cold to drift in to truly enjoy my new purchase, bummer. Guess I will have to go back and order some t-shirts now!

addicted

I just received my new mary jane crocs in the mail this morning. And they are GLORIOUS!!! I can see now why Drake said they were like walking on a dream. I finally gave up trying to find the ones I wanted in the store and ordered them online. Should have done this a long time ago. My feet are very happy right now :) May have to splurge on another pair...decisions, decisions.

bend it like beckham!

For those of you who don't know, though I don't know why you wouldn't, David Beckham and his wifey moved to LA from England last week. He will now play in the MLS for the Los Angeles Galaxy. But rumors of a new player to the Galaxy have begun to surface in recent days. While now this player, nicknamed Dash, is an independent scout, don't be surprised to see him take Beckham's place on the Galaxy in the near future. He has already begun to master the hectic schedule of practice while maintaining his celebrity profile and booking all his upcoming events on his cell phone. He is currently accepting applications for a new agent due to the recent firing of his maternal advisor over potty training issues.

rocket boys

Up, up and away! John is back from Mexico (good bye bed) and got roped in to some over due Daddy time. Drake wanted to launch one of the rockets he got for his birthday. The box said it would go 1000+ ft, we were sceptical. They added all the finishing touches and decided to launch it from the back yard (against my advice). It took off and indeed launched well above were we could see it. After a minute or so we were able to spot the red parachute as it began it's descent towards Earth. Unfortunately as it did, a big gust of wind carried it to the next street over. It is now proudly on display in our friends' tree. Hopefully another gust of wind will knock it down so we can launch it again. But luckily it was a rocket 2 pack... Excellent!! The next one is supposed to go 1800ft. If I get my way we won't be launching that one from our backyard - aahh!

guilty pleasure

My guilty pleasure is about to come to an end. Typically when John is gone for an extended amount of time all heck breaks loose and I usually have a hard time sleeping at night. But this week it has been divine! I have had the whole bed to myself and many nights of wonderful sleep. I have been able to stretch out and actually sleep through the morning without being startled awake but his endless tossing and turning. I can even surround myself with pillows, something I did when I was single. He comes home tomorrow, so my bed I will again have to share. Wonder where I can send him off to next?? Till then I will be an unrested girl.

interview tag

I saw this interview on another blog and "borrowed" it since I am tired and ready for bed. The purpose is to tag others and have them answer the same questions. Soooo, Jes and JCR, if you have 'nothing' and want to reply I would be all smiles and giggles.

What were you doing ten years ago?
*Finishing up a nasty divorce from a control freak momma’s boy.

What were you doing one year ago?
*Wondering if my wee one would ever walk – what was I thinking??

Five snacks you enjoy
*Salt-n-vinegar chips, brownies, fresh fruit, cheese and chocolate

Five songs to which you know all the lyrics
*Since I have the uncanny ability to memorize a song after hearing it a few times I decided to write about songs that I don’t know the lyrics to. 1. Anything by Celine Dion 2. Almost every country song 3. Any songs on Barbra Streisand’s The Broadway album

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire
*Travel like nobody’s business, buy a summerhouse in North Carolina, set up a trust fund for mission work, a Ferrari 599 GTB Fiorano and a horse.

Five bad habits
*Sarcasm
*Unpunctuality – induced by children
*Unhealthy Eating
*Worry – I am a catastrophist
*Stubborn

Five things you like doing
*Reading
*Sleeping
*Playing soccer
*Watching movies
*Being in the moment.

Five things you would never wear again
*Pegged jeans
*Anything yellow, even if it was for a wedding
*Leg warmers
*Feathered hair
*Neon

Five favorite toys
*Blokus
*Cell phone
*My road bike
*Computer
*Ipod

oy ve

D -"MOM!! Grady's eating dirt from the plant!"
K -"What!?"
D -"He's eating the plant or the dirt, I can't tell."
K- "Grady, stop eating the plant!"
G -No Momma...look! I feeeed pant!" (said with big cheesy grin)
He did in fact feed the plant. Yes, he fed the plant Frosted Flakes. Obviously my lack of green thumb has made my plants look as if they are in need of a good meal. Guess it is even worse that my two year old noticed. Wonder what he would offer Nicole Ritchie?

de ja boyle and then some

Well, let's just say that pictures today with the two boys did NOT happen. Demonic seed, aka Grady, did everything in his evil powers to prevent any cute, or even remotely doable pictures, to be caught on film. He spit at the photographer, he spit his completely chewed up granola bar, a bribe from me, on the canvas and then threw the stool she wanted him to sit on at the wall. Yes, it is amazing I did not inflict major bodily harm on this child. Luckily we were in a public place or all bets would have been off. But, being the masochist that I am, I rescheduled for next week. Hopefully my sadistic children will cooperate or the next picture that you see will be of me on the front page!

stop the insanity

Here is the scenario: I am trying to finish up some work for my graduate class. In the background is extremely loud screeching and screaming. The boys have taken it upon themselves to run from on end of the room to the other as fast as they can, then fling themselves into the couch, trying to land upside down on their heads. Now, we know this is a recipe for disaster as pretty soon there will be a head to head collision resulting in more screaming and tears. But for now, it is keeping them busy AND they are actually playing together. Guess I can't complain....or did I already??

the curse of mini-me

There is an old Irish curse that parents give their children that wishes upon them a child worse than themselves. I am the lucky recipiant of that Irish Curse. My eldest son is a mini-me. He also suffers from logorrhea. I learned this word in the movie "Akeelah and the Bee". Before that I just said he had diarhea of the mouth. (this word sounds much better) Logorrhea is the pathologically excessive (and often incoherent) talking of any said person. In this case, it is my son. Now, I am owning up to the fact that this trait is from me, at least from my youth. I used to drive my Grandfather crazy. We lived next door and I would follow him around... talking and talking and talking. He one day asked my Mom why she had me vacinated with a phonograph needle. I should have seen this coming when Drake started talking at such an early age. He started at nine months and has not stopped since. He even talks in his sleep! I cannot count the number of times I hear "Mom, can I ask you a question?" or "Mom, did you know...?" and my favorite "Mom, I'm hungry". This last statement is voiced every 15-20 minutes, I kid you not. This becomes quickly tiresome and I often long for just a few minutes of piece and quiet. (he has interrupted me twice as I am trying to type this!!) There have been many a times in desparation I have said "For the love of Pete, stop the incessant chatter!!!" The sad thing is he knows what that means :( But you gotta love this winking "Right at ya Mom!" picture.

i finished

Yes, that is right, the whiny girl did cross the finish line of the triathlon. There was a lot of sweat, a LOT of wind and quite a few tears. But I raced "my" race and finished. I was reminded by my neighbor this morning that this really isn't about everyone else, it is about me and what my body can do. Ouch! Guess she nailed me to the wall. She also accused us of being our worst critics, correct again. I found this list "What I learned from triathlons" and thought I would share:
1. There are good days and there are bad days and sometimes you can't tell the difference until you start.
2. Contrary to popular belief, sleep is not overrated. Not in the slightest.
3. Don't forget to breathe.
4. Just because it's raining doesn't mean you should cry.
5. Nobody ever said it was easy.
6. Pain is temporary. Pride lasts a lifetime. Sometimes even two.
7. Create a plan and stick to it. It may not always work, but if you stay focused and relaxed, it'll all end up just fine.
8. You've got to try. No matter what happens, in the end you'll have bigger regrets from not ever trying.
9. Strength and courage blossom from the sands of adversity.
10. Sometimes it's the little things that make the big differences.
11. Getting to the starting line is usually a lot harder than getting to the finish.
12. Listen to your body and listen to your mind. And make sure you know when they're lying to you.
13. You can't change the past and you won't alter the future. Enjoy right now, right now.
14. Smile. It does a body good.
15. Be supportive of others. We're all in this together.
16. It's OK to cry.
17. Don't forget to eat. Especially breakfast -- that's a really important one.
Thanks to everyone who supported me and to Jen for making me do it :)

is there an end in sight???

This is the face I see all too often. It is the face of "NO!". He can use it quite well AND uses it very often. Sometimes, even with a smile. This is the "NO" I dislike the most. His smug little face, with his eyes all full of the glint of mischief, defiantly saying no to whatever it may be I am asking him to do. This is all new to me and truly driving me insane. Drake was such a good toddler. He was polite and compliant..what happened to this spawn of my womb? Obviously this is a defect of my husband's seed as I could not have any part in this stubborn little being. (No comments from you Jes!!!) But, just as quickly as he turns into demon boy, he switches back to a loving little cherub. I have seriously considered he is bipolar or maybe even has a multiple personality disorder. Can this be diagnosed at such an early age? Guess I will go back to blaming it on John. That is more fun to do anyway :)

PS: This face also describes how i am feeling about my triathlon tomorrow. If I cry and scream "NO!" will that make it all go away??

the proof is in the picture

OK, I promised a visual for my marshmallow boy and here they are. Notice in exhibit A the large round shape of the feet. These feet are as wide as the are long and as they are tall. They are in fact, marshmallows. Now to exhibit B. While the true legs of this toddler have a bit more girth, the length, width and height of the feet are even. They do in fact, resemble the previous mentioned picture. Throw in little stubby and curly toes and you have the feet that I have to try and find shoes for. A little note to JCR who said she loves crocs for her fat footed boy: I too like the crocs. But my little one discovered how easy they were to take on and off (bonus to most, not to me) and chucked one of his new crocs out the window while I was driving. It has never been seen again. Though today to the store he did wear his croc with another sandal. A battle I chose not to fight. The old ladies found it adorable.. me not so much. I was also lucky enough to notice that he threw his croc out the window while I was loading up the car and got it from the parking lot before we left. Grrrrr!!!

marshmallow update

Went to the orthopedic today at Children's Hospital for Grady's excessively large and fat feet. Fortunately the Curly Toe Syndrome, yes this is a REAL condition, is not impeding his ability to move. Duh!! I could have told the extremely good-looking doctor that. Did I let that slip? Ooops! Anyway... Grady just has very wide feet and the doctor hopes that one day he will grow into them. Great! Guess I am stuck dishing out big bucks for Stride Rites till he moves out of the house. For those of you who have not had the pleasure of viewing my son's feet I will give you a visual. Think big fat marshmallow (foot) with a little pretzel stick (leg) stuck in the middle. No, I am serious. I love them, as they are very cute and well, fat! I am going to search the cupboards for a pretzel stick to see if I can provide a visual. Stay tuned!

pool side checklist

1. Swim trunks - check 2. Surf Shirt - check (don't want a sunburn!) 3. Sunglasses - check (gotta look cool for the ladies) 4. Tennis ball - check (fun to throw AND catch) 5. Ping pong paddle aka bug killer - check (always make sure the deck is bug free plus it can send previous mentioned article really far) 6. Bike helmet - check (have you seen my Mom drive?) Well, I think that is everything. Let's motor! I have waves to catch, bugs to squish and hearts to break. Donde la playa?

a tubby for timmy

Today Timmy got a much needed bath. Who is Timmy you ask? Timmy is my Cabbage Patch doll from days of yore. I purchased him one year with my birthday money because my parents refused to buy me one. I showed them! I think his original name was Michael Joseph. Drake happened upon him five years ago while on a visit to my parent’s house. A new baby had just started going to the same sitter that he went to named, of course, Timmy. Drake LOVED the baby and thought my doll looked just like Timmy the real baby. So Timmy, the doll, became a permanent fixture in Drake’s life, much to my husband’s dismay. I on the other hand thought it was cute. Well, Timmy has been re-found by Grady. Grady is a little more on the tough love side then Drake was, so Timmy got quite dirty. Today, after been assaulted with diaper rash cream and scented lotion, I decided Timmy needed a bath. Grady helped by scrubbing Timmy with a toothbrush. I tried to get Grady to let Timmy dry in the sun but he insisted on taking a wet Timmy wrapped in a towel to bed with him for his nap. Great!! Now he will be moldy and nasty. Guess he will need another bath soon!

a little homage to the past

OK, now I can post just like JCR. This is a favorite in our house. Grady loves to dance to it, as do I. Enjoy my new found talent - hee hee!

betty goes out

I had the luxury of going out last night. Oh yes, on a Sunday night! I did not have my typical Sunday game so that left all this extra time in my Sunday schedule. I even got to wear the new outfit I scored while on an impromptu shopping trip the other day. I spotted the shorts that were very reminiscent of my skater/punk days. Definitely needed to have them to bring back my inner Betty. Throw in a matching cami and I was good to go! So off to Summerfest we went. While talking to a guy, trying to find out where he got his shirt, I was complimented on my little ensemble. J He then proceeded to tell me that he thought I must be naughty because I had my tongue pierced and I am the age that I am. Compliment, I questioned? He assured me it was and then preceded to ask me if his new glasses made him look “too gay”. (his words not mine) Being the sucker that I am for glasses, I said I thought they were very cool. His friends then insisted that I was kissing up because he complimented me…hmph! I personally think a compliment from a gay man is one of the best you can get. John just sat there laughing and shaking his head. He didn’t like the shirt because of the color but I am determined to find him one. Hopefully it comes in a different color, or maybe I will just buy it for myself!

straight up goofiness

This is what I walked into yesterday when I got home from the store. Grady loves to dress up in winter wear no matter what the season. He wears a winter glove everyday, but only on one hand (think Michael Jackson in the 80’s). This hat is much too small and the pom pom on top always makes me laugh. It reminds me of the fisherman skullcaps with a childish twist. On a good day he will bare this attire while pretending to vacuum or sweep the floor. Guess it is better then the French maid outfits… now that would be a picture!!

depleted

I am feeling like utter crud. I would choose different words but I guess those will have to suffice for now. In summary, I am mentally and physically depleted. I had the misfortune of attending the funeral of my coworker’s child today. I cannot even begin to describe the emotions that I have been experiencing all day. I was so exhausted that I even skipped soccer practice this afternoon…sorry Javi! There was no way I was going to endure that physical exertion for 2 hours. I also did not complete my final paper for the graduate class I am taking that is due by July first. Guess I still have a day to do it. So instead of taking on my obligations, I opted to try and take a nap. Of course just as I fell asleep, my husband who never calls during the day, called. Aarrrgh! So, no nap for me. Now I am just irritable and crabby, working on my second pot of coffee and playing referee to my two chitlins who have been constantly accosting each other all day. I think I am going to treat myself to some much-deserved Chinese take out. Hope the kids don’t mind their frozen pizza!

oldie but goodie

After viewing a hilarious video clip on another blog it totally reminded me of a clip I had of my son. Searching through my hard drive I found it. Now let me preface by saying it won't earn me Mommy Stars by any means. It was taken four years ago when my son was three. He is dancing while singing Nelly's "Hot in Here". If I were as smart, like JCR, I would be able to upload it to my blog. VERY worth viewing and makes me smile every time (like the dancing berries and cream man). The fact that he is three and can sing the song perfectly, while dancing, is quite impressive. Though the fact that it is that song may not be AS impressive. My BFF did not believe that he could sing that song till it came on the radio and he busted out his best three year old dance moves. She taped it on her camera as proof to others that I had warped my son at such an early and tender age. I always thought of it as cheap entertainment. Tomato, tomahto.

a time to gloat

Well as mentioned in the previous post I had a procedure today that I was told was too much information for some. So with that being said I will not expand upon my experience. But I will throw out there that during this ordeal a bit of happiness did surface, at least for me. Since it had been a year since I had been to the doctor they put me on the scale for my annual weigh in. I have been feeling a bit discouraged observing my weight watcher success story friends dwindling down to nothing... (you know who you are!) while I continue to carry around my baby weight. I have been trying this last year to do something about it, not as whole heartily as they, but somewhat trying nonetheless. Well these past few months I decided to take a stand against my muffin top!! And low and behold... I am 12 pounds lighter then last year. So yeah for me!! That does however still leave 7 pounds I would really, really like to get rid of. I am hoping that training for this triathlon that I don't want to do will help, but a brownie sundae sure sounds like a better way to celebrate!

new territory

Yep, tomorrow is the day. The day I get my first IUD. I am feeling a little bit timid towards the whole experience. My doctor assures me it will just be a little bit uncomfortable. Isn't that what they said about labor and childbirth?? Sounds sketchy to me. The thought of forcing something through a place that does not want to be forced open is less then appealing. My husband's only concern you ask?? Will it poke me? A girl can only dream!

glorious find

I think it is almost time to retire my all time favorite pair of shorts. They were my favorite pair of jeans in high school, which when they finally got a hole in the knee, turned into my favorite pair of shorts. They were the first pair of men’s jeans that I ever bought and my first pair of button flies. Since most jeans I tried on looked like I was waiting for Noah to reappear, I opted to try men’s jeans. And since grunge was in (yes I date myself) the fact that they were a bit baggy was even better. They fit perfectly and I instantly fell in love. But as they continue to fray, their time quickly dwindles. I am much too old for Daisy Dukes and since gravity has rearranged my body, they are just not AS perfect anymore. But low and behold! What do I find in the Goodwill pile? A pair of men’s cutoffs my husband was discarding. Hmmm, these might work. Since his jeans are 4 inches larger in the waist then my original pair, they sit perfectly on my hips, not too high, not too low. Plus he has done the dirty work of wearing them in and they even have some wear holes to boot. Excellent!! So sad he outgrew them…. hee hee Now I just have to work up the courage to move on. I am sure my favorite shorts will sit in my closet for a few seasons before I work up enough nerve to get rid of them. They have seen many things, been many places and know way more then I will ever own up too. But after 20 years what is a girl to do?

100 things you may or may not know about me

1. I am the older of two children 2. I have a younger brother 3. I have six cousins, all males 4. I have two cats, both males 5. My dog is a male 6. I live in a house with three other males 7. My husband has two brothers 8. Can you see the root of my problems? 9. I have three tattoos but have been inked five times 10. My favorite piercing is my tongue 11. My favorite color is purple 12. I am addicting to educating myself 13. I am painfully shy 14. My palms sweat 15. I went to an all-girls college 16. I used to collect pigs 17. I now hate collections 18. I will try almost anything once 19. My first son was over 11 lbs 20. Yes, I had him naturally 21. I secretly love a great tackle on the soccer field 22. Even better if there is blood shed 23. I have been to Siberia 24. I had to be rescued by the Russian Special Forces 25. I can’t wait to move out of Wisconsin 26. I love my feet 27. I think biting your nails is the nastiest habit 28. I am a bit of a germ-a-phobe 29. I tend to obsessive-compulsive 30. I have sky dived from +4000 ft 31. I am afraid of heights 32. I have no desire to go to China, Japan or Thailand 33. I want to go to Australia and Fiji 34. I used to eat cold hot dogs as a child 35. I love to dip my fries in chocolate milkshakes 36. Pizza and beer make the world a better place 37. I am a flirt 38. I dislike people that lie 39. I hate my chin 40. I have never broken a bone 41. I love to read 42. My nickname is Kat 43. I like it better then my name 44. I love to nap 45. I met Sammy Hagar 46. I’m a catastrophist 47. I believe in ghosts 48. I am deathly afraid of spiders 49. I believe in fate 50. I am a die hard romantic 51. I can’t stand when people end a sentence with a preposition 52. I have never idolized anyone 53. I looked up to my grandma 54. I hate to cook 55. I love to bake 56. I have been to Quantico 57. I don’t shave my legs in the winter 58. I love Walt Whitman 59. I am a great dancer 60. I love to sing but have a terrible voice 61. I prefer to not wear shoes 62. I hate things on my neck 63. I once went on a date with a man that was 19 years older then me 64. I used to jump horses 65. I love the smell of play-doh 66. I want to live by the ocean 67. I have been to Ireland 68 I am an avid list maker 69. I can’t float in water 70. My first crush was on a boy named Jason 71. I can’t get dressed before I do my hair 72. I view my hair as an accessory 73. I grew up in a town called Poland 74. Brushing doll’s hair is calming 75. I love to drive 76. I really love to drive fast 77. I wanted to be a doctor as a child 78. I passed out at the latest U2 concert, in the fourth row 79. I used to slalom race in the snow 80. I was a competitive swimmer for 12 years 81. I never wear lipstick 82. I am not selfish 83. I believe in God 84. I have never been arrested, formally 85. I have dated guys named Trond, Ali, Konstantino, Cash, Ziggy and Shannon 86. I have run topless in the rain 87. I am afraid of the dark 88. I am not very computer savvy 89. I am a stickler for manners 90. I am a sleep nazi 91. I once did runway-modeling 92. I can’t play any instruments 93. I have worked at a cemetery and a bakery 94. I love to give presents 95. I have never had black hair 96. I am supposed to wear glasses 97. I wish I were multi-lingual 98. I refuse to iron 99. I poison small rodents 100. I love the Ohio State Buckeyes!!

more seven year old ramblings

Mom, I am soooo glad I am white.
Uuuuuuhhh, why?
Because it is summer and you wear white when you want to be cooler.
Yes that is true. (I told him this when he wanted to wear a navy shirt golfing on a 90 degree day)
So I am white and I am cooler in the sun then a dark person.
Well I don't know about that.
I bet dark people get really hot in the summer and wish they were white like me.
I think they are probably just as happy in life as you are. (Geez! Where did this kid come from?? And further more, why is he mine?)

bra-matized

Decided I needed a little pick me up and ventured to Victoria’s Secret to splurge on something pink and fun. While I was there and contemplating all the new and improved amenities for the girls, the helpful assistant asked if I knew my size and if I had ever been measured. Quite the loaded question if you ask me. Thinking I had nothing to loose I agreed to be measured. Much to me dismay the size she told me was much smaller then I had been PK (pre- kids). Stunned and in a state of disbelief I made her do it again. Nothing like revisiting the shock twice! Then to soften the blow – HA! – she informs me that they don’t keep “that size” on the racks. If I wanted a bra I would have to look below, in the drawers. Well that was the pick me up I needed let me tell you. Seeking comfort I called my BFF. Her response, you queried? “What are you concave now??” So I am now looking for a new BFF that does not have the nice “milk mommas” she so happily gloats about. Though did make a pretty purchase…. and yes it is padded!

cicada invasion

When my friend told me her lawn was black and moving I became intrigued. I had been hearing about the 17 year cicada invasion that hit Illinois for some time. When she told me she had to use her leaf blower to clear off her driveway and walkway, I had to see it for myself. Doing my research I knew cicadas didn't bite or eat humans (very important when you are afraid of bugs) They look quite nasty and smell even worse. They were flying every where and seemed to have a love for landing on me - ick. The kids however loved them, again ick. Luckily Grady did not eat any, like a few days ago when he ate a dried up worm, but I digress. I have included some pictures for your viewing pleasure, ha! My secret pleasure?? Hearing the loud "plunk" every time one of those slow fat bugs bounced off my windshield while I was driving. Aaaah, it is the little things that bring me such joy :)

PS: That is NOT me holding the cicada.

ramblings of a seven year old

Mom, is butt hole a swear word?
Uuuhhh, no I guess not.
Mom, can I say butt hole??
Well, it's not the nicest word.
Mom, can I say a-hole?
NO, definitely not.
But Mom, aren't a-hole and butt hole the same thing?
Yes, technically they are.
Then why can't I say a-hole??
Because IT is a swear word and is not nice to say.
Oohhhh.......can I say pie hole?
Sigh.......yes.
It means butt hole too right?
No it is another word for your mouth.
Hmmm, interesting.

Yes, this is one of the many reasons I love having boys. Where is my happy pill when I need it??

why can't i say that??

Sometimes it is the mouths of babes that quickly sends us back to the world of innocence. As I was picking up my seven year old from swim lessons he looked a little disgruntled. I asked him how his lessons went and he said, "Fine, except not everyone would listen so we couldn't go off the diving board. And Mom, I am really pissed off about that!" How to react first? It took every ounce of me to not laugh hysterically at his comment. Don't want him to be running around spouting that off now do I? (that will surely earn me a bad mommy sticker) I gently told him it is not nice to say that and then asked him where he had heard that comment. He quickly responded..."Dad". Interesting.... but secretly I was cheering that I was not to blame for my child's indecent expression. I then was faced with a barrage of questions as to why that is not nice to say, why can Daddy say it, can I say it when I am ten? Hmmm, maybe I should have ignored the comment and secretly enjoyed my son’s subtle humor and spared myself the headache of explaining societal rules.

last day of school

The day every child dreams of after the first few weeks of September had finally arrived. My few days of gentle reprieve have quickly come to an end. Darn. So much for Bon Bons and cappuccinos! Oh wait, need I forget I have a demonic two year old. Silly, silly girl. Well summer in this girl’s house has officially begun. I have to scrounge up my list of must-reads for the summer. Though I have also created a “to do” list, mostly finishing projects I have started but alas, never finished. Can I blame that on my ADHD?? Then there is this triathlon that I promised a friend I would do with her. Don’t quite know what I was thinking there! But the lack of training that is happening and the quickly approaching date seem to be an almost lethal combination. Still waiting for a miracle to get me out of this one…. Feel free to send any extras my way! Then please send the paramedics!

goin' to the zoo

Oh yes, the zoo! D's first grade class took their annual trip to the zoo. D pleaded that I step up and perform my motherly duties as a parent chaperon. Oh all right, how hard could a trip to the zoo be?? Silly, silly girl. Not only did I have to provided constant snacks, water and any other hydration sold or viewed any where in eye sight, I had to do it all with a toddler in tow. Then add to the fact that it was in the 90's, oh yes, it is the equation of fun. There is nothing like trekking through the zoo during a freak Midwestern June heat wave. Of course the animals were less then thrilled by the hundreds of onlookers and only wanted to lay around and either bask in the sun or hide in the shade. I was of the same mind set as the bear... kicking back in the hammock. The only thing required to make it perfect?? A margarita of course! In the end it was a good day. The kids had fun and were completely wiped out. The parents, also exhausted and smelly, got to experience firsthand the excitement that the zoo brings, the sparkle it puts in the eyes of their children and the reason it is a once a year trip :)

who said i am not a techie??

OH YEAH! Watch out now! I went from nothing to high tech in no time. I love having the summers off!! Bring it on baby, bring it on :)

testing

OK, I have been trying to learn how to load photos. This is just a test to see if it might actually work this time. Fingers crossed? Let's try... If it works it is a recent picture of me and Grady at the skate park. I was trying to convince him he was too young to thrash with his brother and the other skaters. There were tears but ultimately I got a smile!

Eeeek!!

For lack of a better term and to use one of the oldest clichés around, where has the time gone? I am now in the midst of April and have sadly neglected my blog. Not that anyone is desperately waiting for my life events, it was something I wanted to try and keep up on. So I will try again. I have contemplated summarizing the past three months but decided that perhaps, absence may just be a good thing. April and June are birthday months in our house/ family so I have already had my fill of cake and sweets. Ok, maybe there IS always room for something sweet but I do have to be swimsuit ready by next Wednesday. That's right, girls trip!! I will be voyaging off to Palm Beach to bask in the sun and plant my bottom in the sand. And well, I just may partake in a few beverages and the guilty pleasure of sleeping beyond 6 am. Though the thought of my stark white body in a suit is enough to traumatize even the smallest of children......maybe I can get some fake bakes in before then. Until next time.