can we please keep our diaper on?!

Scene one: Me, sitting at the kitchen table checking my email. Boys supposedly brushing teeth upstairs. A faint voice says, "Momma...I pee".
"What Grady?"
A little louder now, "Momma.... I pee kitty!!"
"Oh for the love of Pete!!"
I quickly get up and run into the front entry way. Sure enough, there stands my two year old in all his naked glory, trying to pee over the balcony on the sleeping cat below. What on earth is this child thinking? What possesses him to do this to his lovable and faithful pet?? What have I done to deserve this demonic seed??

Scene two: I am doing the dishes while the boys are playing upstairs, somewhat quietly. Suddenly a seven year old boy bellows:
"Mom!!! Grady is taking off his diaper again!!!"
"Grrrrrrr!.....Ok, I am coming!"
"Mom!! You had better hurry!!"
"WHY!?"
"He just pooped on the floor!"
At this point I am ready to fling open the front door and run for the hills. Is this truly my life and if so why is it happening to me?!? All my bad teenage year's karma is coming back to haunt me and bite me in the butt. I shudder to think of what HIS teenage years will hold. It reminds me of a story that my husband shared with me...scary actually. I am sure he would just LOVE it if I shared...or not, but I am going to anyway. So, he had come home one night in high school a wee bit inebriated. He quickly fell asleep, some others may call it passing out, and awoke a while later needing to use the bathroom. He thought he entered the bathroom but in fact, he entered his closet. You can easily finish the story. Glad I didn't have to do his laundry then!!