right now I am definitely the second

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.

For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire.

No further studies are expected.

I think I noticed this on our front door this morning

Since I have been back at work there has been a significant decline in the state of our internal affairs. Typically, when I am trying to run out the door by 6:40am I tend to disregard (or completely ignore) the level of cleanliness of our humble abode. But as I was making the mad dash this morning I shuttered at the large glaring words on my wall calendar.... babysitter - 6:15pm. Oh crap!!! We have a sitter coming tonight?? A quick glance around the downstairs proved to be one of the scariest moments in my week. Four loads of laundry were piled on two of the three couches, one load is still in the dryer, Grady's pop-up train tent was in the middle of the kitchen (he had to stop and get gas), the toy room had a near fatal nuclear explosion with the ramifications spilling out into the dining room and entryway and I won't even begin to try and describe the condition of the kitchen table, let alone my desk (is it even still there??). I shared the troubling news with my husband and gave him a plea for mercy, “Could you please start picking up??” I think I may have even promised certain favors if I walked into a clean house after work, but I am not positive. I can always plead insanity when the collections are due. So all I can do now is try and not think about it, wish for the best and hope my hazmat suit comes in today. Thank goodness I look good in orange!

something fun for hump day - you know you want to do it!

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current car)
Sadie Golf

2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (fave ice cream flavor, favorite cookie)
Chocolate Peanutbutter Oreo

3. YOUR “FLY Guy/Girl” NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name),
K-Tie

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Purple sheep

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Addington Youngstown

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first)
Tie-Kr

7. SUPERHERO NAME: (”The” + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink)
The Green Merlot

8. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers)
Ervin William

9. STRIPPER NAME: ( the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy)
Very Sexy Chocolate

10.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle names )
Wentz Grady

11. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: (Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter)
Ruman Raliegh

12. SPY NAME: (your favorite season/holiday, flower)
Fall Tulip

13. CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + “ie” or “y”)
Banana Jeanie

14. HIPPY NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree)
Coffee Oak

15. YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR NAME: (”The” + Your fave hobby/craft, fave weather element + “Tour”),
The Scrapping Blizzard Tour

I would love to hear what your are! What better way to waste ten minutes :)

strategically placed motorcycle

As I ventured off to pre-school this morning with Grady I got behind a very slow moving motorcycle. Now, I am a girl who likes to drive on the faster end of the spectrum and no matter what time I leave in the morning I always feel rushed. So here I am, trudging along a country road, full of cornfields and maybe a handful of houses, at barely 40 mph. This is literally driving me to gouge my eyes out!!! I begin plotting my revenge on the cyclist before me and wonder how in tarnation he can drive so slow on a country road with no traffic or small children playing on the wayside. Most of this road is also doubled lined, damn the city, so passing is limited to a tiny stretch on a downhill. As we crested the hill I was full of glee that soon I would be able to pass this lackadaisical driver and leave him in my dust. This is when I noticed, in the distance, the glint of the morning sun bouncing off a car parked on the side of the road. Hmmm, odd place for a car. After a quick moment of contemplation I abandon passing the motorcycle. Whew! Because lo and behold, the glint was bouncing off a police car, damn the city again! How sneaky to put a car on a road full of temptation to speed! Needless to say I was sending my driving angel many prayers of thanks for deterring me from a ticket. Now I guess I will have to be a little more careful on that road, at least when I am cresting that hill!!

la la land

I have been procrastinating introducing Grady to sing along music for a long long time. I still have nightmares induced by the many sing along tapes Drake had as a toddler. And honestly, who wants to spend the day with a hum job from the Wiggles? I was ok with the Laurie Berkner songs G's sitter got him addicted too but was not willing to voyage too far past that. Until he was screaming incessantly the other morning and I was ready to fling him from my fast moving vehicle, car seat and all. I scrounged around in my glove box and found a Baby Genius CD from many years ago. The fact that it had been moved into my car from my last one still has me baffled. Needless to say Grady now chants "monkey song! monkey song!" as soon as we get in the car. His song of choice you query? Why it is none other then "Five Little Monkeys Jumping On the Bed". He particularly likes when the doctor yells at the monkeys to stop jumping on the bed and has the finger scold to go with it. Thankfully my drive is only ten minutes to preschool, which means I only have to listen to the song two times before we get there. Unlike when Drake was his age and drove the whole 35 minute commute with me, singing those songs over and over and over till I went mad I tell you! Mad!! I guess I can suck it up and handle ten minutes here and there and pray we don't have any road trips in our near future!

PS: Blogger is being pissy once again and won't let me upload my cute monkey picture.....Grrrrrr!!!
PSx2: Ok, after several attempts I finally got it to work, or Blogger's coffee finally set in, the choice is yours.

belated wedding pictures

Here are some of the pictures from my brother's wedding last weekend. It was beautiful and the weather was perfect! I loved their non-traditional cake choice, as did all the kids. Melanie hired a balloon guy who made all the boys swords. It kept them entertained and gave the adults some time to chat. Grady ran back and forth attacking everyone in sight with his sword. We lost him for a brief moment and eventually found him under the table with a little girl his same age. Hmmmm, starting early. Guess he takes after his Dad on that!!

totally bragging this time

The first football game of the season was finally upon us. Drake was so excited that he could not stop talking about it all morning long. He was dressed well before his game so we took some pre-game shots. Doesn't he look fierce? I opted for no goggles for the pictures since they make his eyes look buggy. Hey, a Mom's gotta do what a Mom's gotta do to get the shot :)
We had to be at the game an hour before start time only to find out that the games were running an hour behind schedule. Great!! Nothing like trying to keep Grady entertained and contained in a wide open area. By the way, we spent a painful four and a half hours at the field, not what I was planning on for my Saturday afternoon. Drake did well calling all the plays and used this crazy deep gutteral voice. We will be trying to correct that before he gets vocal cord nodules!
I must take this moment to brag as any good Mom would. Drake scored the first touchdown on a quarterback sneak. It was so great! He got toatlly smooshed as both teams piled on him but how exciting to watch!! The tackles even jostled his goggles. Kudos to John for getting me a new lens for my camera so I could catch all the action up close and personal. By the way, for those of you who were curious, the Falcon's won their first game 26-6! Bring on the next game!!

delicious boy

This is the picture I just received of my BFF's son, my unofficial nephew. Isn't he a muffin? I just want to nibble on him! He just got his first big boy hair cut and is in the midst of teething. What a ginormous drool monster! I particularly love his shirt "Mommy's little monster" and am wondering why she never got one of those for my son. Hmmm.... I'll have to question her on that one. He hasn't made an appearance on my blog in a while. I think the last time was when she dressed him up as Yoda. BFF has been seriously lacking in providing me adequate pictures. The nerve! You would think she was busy or something! I will have to become more vocal in my demands. I mean, who would not want pictures of this scrumptious boy??

sticky situation

What do you get when you combine a brand new bottle of aerosol hairspray with an inquisitive and fast-footed two-year-old boy? Stickiness and LOTs of it. All I can say is this boy moves fast. I had him in my sights while trying to distribute the never-ending piles of clean laundry, (and I will admit I was talking on the phone), when I heard intense giggles and saw the cats running for their lives. In quick pursuit was my two year old wielding a new can of aerosol hairspray. He was having the time of his life doing the cats fur, much against their will mind you. " I spray cats Mommy!!" "Oh no you don't!" I quickly took the can away and placed it back under my sink. Not even two minutes later I hear "Andsome hair. Gady has pretty hair." And then it happened. He sprayed the hairspray directly into his ear. Not just once mind you, three times! He was laughing initially but as the hairspray began to dry he did not like the feeling. "OUT MOMMY! SPRAY OUT!!!" With my quick and speedy super Mom capabilities I tried to wipe up the residue with a wet Q-tip. This did not appease the young hair designer as the water began to drip down his ear canal. Screams and tears ensued as I tried to do more damage control. I have no idea the effects of hairspray on the ear canal and ear drum. Guess it will be another reason he doesn't hear, or should I say listen, to me. All I can hope foe is that he learned his lesson. But somehow I highly doubt it.

brave yet stupid girl

I have just, for the first time in my life, purchased a string bikini. I still cannot believe I did it, but was running out of options for our upcoming trip. My husband feels I should be like the locals and go topless. Has he SEEN what nursing two kids has done to my girls? They are in sad and pathetic shape. I even feel embarrassed at my annual exam and she sees them all day! From being flat chested my entire life, then ballooning out to a C+/ D and then shrinking again.....well you can imagine the destruction. He also said I could not wear any of my "mommy" suits on our trip. Well, that leaves me nothing but a bikini I had pre-babies that does not cover my redistributed butt and hips. So while shopping on my lunch break I came across the swimsuit clearance section. I justified the purchase on many levels. First, it was 75% off (can you believe someone would pay $80 for a string bikini???) Second, I don't need to listen to my husband complain and gripe about MY swim wear choices. Third, it will definitively make him happy. Fourth, I don't need to go topless with the natives (VERY important) Fifth, I can add it to the list of things I thought I would never do in my life. Don't worry, I will not be posting a picture of me in this swimsuit nor will I allow any pictures to even be taken. At least I can guarantee that no one in the Dominican Republic will know me and gossip about how I look in this suit. For now I will just use it as motivation to eat healthy and stay on my work out regimen and pray I have the courage to walk on the beach in it!!

counting down to paradise

I have officially begun to countdown for a trip I am taking in October. I know it sounds a bit childish, but it is the first time my husband and I have been away without the kids in seven years. Sad, I know. How we have survived and stayed married this long is still up for grabs with that extensive length of time without a break from the kids. So after a lot of begging, pleading and assuring her that her golf and ski schedule would not be compromised AND offering to buy my mother's plane ticket, she agreed to come. I also threw in the fact that both boys would be in school so there wasn't really THAT much for her to do. A little lie to get what you want never hurt anyone! (at least that is my story and I am sticking to it) So the grandmother is coming to watch the brood for 6 days. During those six days I will be planting my white butt in the sands of Punta Cana. We opted for the all-inclusive deal so the beverages will be flowing. Hey, I am Irish and it is noon somewhere, right?! I am also fantasizing about the opportunity to sleep past 6am for five days in a row, napping every afternoon and going out every night. I am also wondering if, in my older age, I will be able to keep up with my lifestyle of days past. On the flip side I have also already begun to worry about the boys, the dog, will they actually make it to school, will she traumatize them the way she traumatized me, will Grady not like her, will she complain every time I call to check in, the possibilities are endless. My husband says we leave, actually run, and hope for the best. My thought is that I should start praying now.

et tu brute?

Yes, even you Brutus! Finally today I could upload my picture of Brutus Buckeye celebrating a victory. Hopefully we will see him do this many times this season. Otherwise I will be a crabby girl.

looking for advice

Any ideas on how to get gogurt out of a floor heating vent and the tracks of a sliding glass door? Oh yes, this is my life. Guess we learned to finger paint at pre-school today. And to think, I am paying for him to go there!

school glorious school

Yeah! The glorious day has finally arrived! School! Drake was so excited this morning he was incessantly watching the clock. It got to be a little much when he would announce the time every minute. I started having him do chores to pass the time but that quickly brought on complaining...shocking. So I whipped out my handy dandy camera and did the traditional "back to school" photos. Every year since he has been in school I have taken his picture in front of a bush in the front of the house. When I tried this morning, we were both assaulted by a menacing swarm of killer mosquitoes. I kid you not, they were out for blood. We stepped of our front step and were immediately surrounded and overtaken. We were both lucky to get out of there alive! So I had to settle for him sitting on the steps inside. Guess I will have to take pictures in the front at a later date and pretend they were the first day of school. Who will know?
It was also Grady's first day at pre-school. He was initially excited when he woke up. He told me he was going to "big boy school". This facade quickly faded when he realized he had to wear clothes to big boy school. This led to a 20-minute tantrum/ wrestling match to get him dressed and ready. It is sad to think that two grown adults cannot get a two year old dressed. I almost opted to send him in just a diaper, but since it was his first day I wanted to make somewhat of a good impression on his teacher. He also refused to eat breakfast, put his shoes on and get in the car seat. The only thing he agreed to was carrying his backpack and then he didn't want to take it off! As you can see, there are no pictures of his first day. I can't say I particularly want to scrapbook a page of him screaming bloody murder as he was ripped from my leg. Guess I will have to fake his first day too. What is the world of motherhood coming too???

yeah buckeyes!

It was the first weekend of college football and I had to miss Ohio States opening game. They won - YEAH - even though they only played Youngstown State. So I guess technically I did not miss out on too much. I am so geared up for this season! hee hee I am also hoping that my brother come through for me on my birthday weekend so we can road trip to the Michigan game. Feel the pressure brother of mine!!

I have this great picture of Brutus the buckeye running with the OSU flag but my stupid blogger is having issues uploading. Damn blogger!! Someone must not be a buckeyes fan....maybe my husband cursed it. For some reason he is a Wisconsin fan. I know it is sad, but I love him anyway!

On another note, it is the start of school tomorrow for the boys. Grady has learned a new trick, not sure where, but it is oh so delightful. When he is asked to do something he particularly does not want to do he covers his ears and say "I no hear you Momma!! I no hear you!" Yeah, it was a long weekend in St Louis. I am sure his new pre-school teacher will just love the "I don't hear you" line. Now I just need to sit and wait for the phone call. Unfortunately I am sure it will come sooner then I think. Guess I had better start picking out a REALLY nice Christmas present for his teacher...

road trip!

I am blogging off for the long weekend. We are taking a road trip to St. Louis for my brother's wedding reception. Should be lots of fun, as long as the kids cooperate. All of us in one hotel room could be very bad. Last time we did that Grady would not sleep in his pack and play and had to fall asleep on one of our chests. Not fun. Hopefully he will be exhausted by the days activities that he will just crash. Ok, who am I kidding?! Guess I had a bit to much crack in the pipe today. He is going to be soo amped and off schedule....I can see it all now, and it is going to be bad. A two year old on their second or third wind is very hard to bring down. I will be sure to catch all those glorious moments on my camera so you can all laugh at my expense on Tuesday. Enjoy your long weekend!!

slightly shocking

Now, I am not one to brag ad nauseum about their children or boast about every feat they accomplish but I have to say the news I received last night was exciting and slightly shocking. But my excitement is overriding my good moral judgment and I have to share - Drake got picked to be the quarterback of his tackle football team. Now to many parents this is probably a normal occurrence and not that big of deal. To others, they use it as a way to redefine themselves by living through their children. For me, well, I guess I am still trying to grasp the concept.

If you know or have ever met my seven year old you will know exactly where I am coming from. He is motorically challenged. He is the brain not the brawn. His gross motor skills are lacking and sometimes painful to watch. And I am totally fine with that and love him for everything that he is. He also is blind as a bat and has no depth perception (thus the ever changing cool specs!) But last year his Dad told him he could play tackle football, without consulting me I might add. WHAT?! Are you crazy? Have you seen our son in sports?? Ironically he was pretty good for a 6 year old. He caused 4 fumbles and sacked the quarterback of the other teams three times during his season. We were all shocked…he was totally stoked. As long as he didn’t have to catch a ball he was fine. Guess it is pretty easy to see large moving targets in front of you J

So that brings us to this fall. Drake loves Brett Farve and has been practicing throwing the ball most of the summer. How his little arm can throw so hard, with a darn good spiral, I haven’t a clue. The past two weeks at practice the boys have been trying out for positions. I was trying to prep him that he may not get the position he wanted. He was OK with that and said he also wanted to be a lineman. Well, last night they got their assignments and he gets to QB. The smile on his face brought tears to my eyes, and his too. I am glad he is so happy and has accomplished something he really wanted. I am also perfectly happy knowing he will probably never be a Brett Farve. But if he is, I will still love him all the same!

why men aren't moms

In an attempt to ease the pain of shopping with a toddler, my husband offered to stay home while I went to the grocery store. Now, while this sounds great, he also required a bit of prodding as I was going after I dropped the older one off at football at 6:30. This is much to close to the two year olds bedtime and during the prime witching hour. We both agreed it was too risky to attempt and the thought of the possible ugliness within the store won. So, with that being said, my husband was then in charge of putting the two year old to bed. The same two year old that will not keep his diaper on and must be wrapped and wrapped in duct tape. I was no more then three steps in the door when the previously mentioned husband stopped me and warned me I was going to be mad. THAT, is a loaded statement with endless possibilities. He then informed me he did not have the heart to put duct tape in our son's diaper. He said Grady was screaming "No tape!!" and "Sorry Daddy!" while stroking my husband's cheek (this is how Grady would say he was sorry before he could talk thanks to my friend Jen) My husband also insisted that Grady promised "at least ten times" that he would not take his diaper off. Only a man would believe the promises of a two year old.... sigh. So when I went to check on him, lo and behold, he was sans diaper. He also burst into tears as I picked him up along with a diaper and duct tape. I, as a mother, obviously have no heart. He did eventually fall asleep and the diaper stayed on!! Sadly, I have a soccer game tonight, which means Daddy is in charge of putting the kids to bed again. Hopefully he is not jaded twice.

stylin' at seven?

This is the interaction that occurred as my seven year old was getting ready this morning. I am fearful that this is a glimpse of what the new school year may have in store for me and scared that this is becoming an issue already. Where did my sweet boy who let me dress him go??
K-Drake, come here and let me fix your shorts.
D - Why?
K- Cause they don't look right (I straighten them and pull them up to where , if he had one and wasn't such a bean pole, his waist would be)
D - Mom! I don't want them there.
K - Why?
D - Because that's where Grandpas wear their pants. I look older if I wear them lower AND its cool.

And so it begins......

stinky boy

As we were about to leave for church this morning, the unfortunately oh so familiar smell of Grady's diaper wafted past my nose. I quickly scooped him up and told him he was stinky and needed his diaper changed. He tried to insist he was not stinky but his smell preceded him. I tried telling him that the other children would not want to play with a stinky boy. And his response still cracks me up.
K - Grady, I need to change your diaper
G - No diaper Momma
K - Yes diaper. No one wants to play with a boy who is sooo stinky. You don't want to be the stinky boy do you?
G - I wanna be stinky boy Momma! No friends!

With this I burst into hysterical laughter and changed his diaper because he found himself just as funny. Again, just another reason I oh so love my boys!